Why
by lostvoices
Summary: Kyubbi is female and Naruto is slowly merging with her. But what he doesn’t know that by merging with her he’s changing. Will Naruto be able to handle the news? will he be able to let someone love him with his past
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: as all know I don't own the characters, just the fun ideas that came out my head

Warnings- yaoi, mpreg, rape of a minor, language and lemons to come….

Please if you don't like any of this than don't read it.

Pairings: Sasuke/Naruto, Kakashi/Iruka

"…" -talking

'….' -Character thoughts

(_dream_)

-pov change

>>>-time laps

WHY

Chapter 1:

Naruto pov-

Why I've been asked. Why am I here? Why do I continue to live? Why stay where I'm not welcome? Why care for those who would rather me not exist?

I have no answer for those, but what I honestly feel. I am here because I am needed. I'm alive because something in me refuses to die. I stay because where else do I have to go. I care because everyone needs someone to care for them.

In truth I ask myself these same questions everyday. I hurt just like everyone else. The hateful glares the name calling the daily rant of some villager at me. But I don't let it show I smile and go about my day. Even after all these years. My team-mates don't understand me. I wouldn't think they would. They see the blond hair, blue eyed prankster I once was as the village idiot for a team-mate.

I guess that's my fault I never let my mask fall to show the deeper me. I would rather they see someone happy than someone stuck in a cage banging on it screaming in pain.

I'm late again for a mission. That's been happening a lot lately. Pretty soon they're going to confront me about it. I don't know what I'll say when the time comes. How could I tell them when I don't know why I feel like I'm dieing inside.

I'm running to the bridge we always meet at. I see them standing there looking annoyed, probably at me. Coming to a stop I prepare myself to be belittled again for my lack of caring that they had been waiting on me, the lowly demon holder.

Being pulled from my thoughts I notice I'm being stared at instead of being yelled at.

"What?" I ask looking from one to the other.

"Why are you late, again Naruto?" Kakashi asked looking at me with his one eye.

"I'm sorry, I must have over slept won't happen again!" I state pulling up my mask smiling brightly as I scratch the back of my head. Playing dumb seemed to work well in the past.

"Are you sick?" Sakura asks looking at me worried, crap why is she so worried about me.

"No! Why?" I ask furrowing my brows keeping my fake smile planted.

"You.. nothing." She says shaking her head before turning to Kakashi. "Can we go now?" she asks in an annoyed voice.

Kakashi nods at her and we begin walking, we know all about the mission since it was given to us the day before. Not my idea of fun but it's a mission and one that has to be done.

* * *

Sasuke pov-

'Why is that dobe so late today? He's been doing that a lot lately. He knows we have a mission today.' I think to myself before looking up to see said team- mate walking up to us. Something's not right about him.

"Are you sick?" I hear Sakura ask him. She must have seen it to, crap.

"No, why?" Naruto answers a bit too quickly. 'He's lying something's wrong. I'll have to wait till later to ask him what's really wrong.'

* * *

Naruto pov-

'Why is Sasuke looking at me like that?' I'm in no mood to deal with another one of his glaring matches. He wins anyway I always back down giving him one of my own insults back at him. It's funny that after all these years we could still hold such hostility towards each other. Even Sakura moved on and has been dating Lee for half a year now. Hmm, I'm too tired to think about this right now.

The mission today, gah I hate dealing with nobles and there bickering.

"Kakashi sensei, why did we get this mission I don't understand?" I say pouting at him I don't know why they seem to think shinobi such as us should have to baby-sit a stuck up noble when any genin could do it.

"What's to understand? They need protection while traveling we have been ordered to comply." He says his tone flat while he continues to walk.

"I understand that. But, why us? There are many others who could have done this mission." I ask in a quiet calm voice one I rarely use.

"Since when do you _not _want to do a mission? It's been awhile since there's been one for us." Kakashi asked sounding shocked.

"It's not that I don't want to do a mission. It's just,… never mind lets just get this over with." I said wanting to drop the subject. Walking ahead of his team- mates he didn't have to see the sudden worry that etched across all there faces.

* * *

Sasuke pov-

Looking from one to the other he could clearly read that they were all worried about him. 'That dobe, what is he doing? What's wrong with him? He's never acted like this.' Falling in step with Sakura they looked at each other then back at the blond frowning.

"What are you thinking?" She asked not looking at me.

"Eh, it's none of our business if he doesn't want to say!" I lied I wanted to know but it will take work for him to tell me.

"What? You're kidding right? He's our team-mate and it's more our business if he has something wrong with him that could jeopardize the mission." She said keeping her voice low. "He's been late for half our meeting for the past month, he was late for our mission today and he looks like he's been losing weight, he's just flat out not acting normal and you say that its none of our business?" she hissed

"Hn." Was all I said.

"Will you please stop talking about me?" Naruto complained.

'Crap he heard us' there's no time right now to think on this I'll just wait.

* * *

Naruto pov-

We reached the next village and we're allowed to stay in an inn for the night. We didn't have to meet our mission client till morning.

I got roomed with Sasuke. I swear they're up to something, I just know it.

I made it to our room before him and climbed into the one bed that was provided and scrunched myself against the wall. After burrowing myself in the blankets, I hear the door open and the quiet foot steps he takes to get to the bed. It takes forever before I feel the bed shift to his body. I hear and feel the blankets move to cover his body.

* * *

Sasuke pov-

I see him hiding under the blankets when I entered our room. Why is that loud mouth hiding from me? I move to settle in the bed and I hear nothing from him just his breathing and feel the heat of his body where the blankets had been close to him.

'He's not going to say anything is he?' baka!

"Naruto?" I say not sure I want him to respond.

"Hn?" 'Crap he did.'

"Uh, is something wrong? You're not your usual obnoxious self!" I ask trying as hard as I can to hide my concern.

"Huh, no I'm just tired. Yell at me in the morning will ya? I tend to be hard to wake lately." He's tired why is he being so quiet? He's never quiet!

"Hn!" I tell him not knowing what else to say.

Soon we're both asleep he's softly snoring. For some reason I'm awake there's a sound that woke me. I look over and see he's still asleep but the look on his face reads nothing but pain. Why is he so in pain? Then I hear him.

"No.. please…. Stop.. no I don't, nnh." He's breathing hard.

I'm looking at him I can't stop I want to wake him but I can't move.

"Please…. Stop!" He whimpers and tears start to flow down his cheek.

I reach out and wipe the tears away only to have more replace them.

"What the fuck is wrong? Why is he crying?" I whisper.

Reaching his shoulders I begin to shake him awake. Its not working he said he was having troubles waking. I say his name; nothing happens I say it louder. This time I see his eye's begin to flutter open.

"Naruto wake up!" I say still holding his arms.

"Hmm is it time to go?" he asks looking at me though sleep fogged eye's.

"No, it's not time. It's still night!" I state frowning.

"Than why, did you wake me?" he pouts throwing himself back on the bed.

* * *

Naruto's pov-

"Hmm, why did you wake me up then? I said I was tired!" I asked irritated but happy to be rid of the dream I was having.

"Sorry but you woke me first!" 'What's he talking about?'

"What, how?" I ask

"You were dreaming! Talking in your sleep." 'Oh crap what was I dreaming about?'

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you!" I said turning to face the wall.

"What were you dreaming about?" Why does he want to know?

"It doesn't matter, just go back to sleep. We have a mission tomorrow ya know!"

"I won't be able to sleep until I know why you sounded so scared." Crap! Double crap.

"It doesn't matter. It's, it's just the past nothing that concerns you. Please, let me sleep, I'm so tired." I say trying to pull the covers over my head.

"Why are you so tired?" he just doesn't stop does he the stubborn bastard!

"I haven't been getting much sleep!" I growl at him.

"But, that's all you seem to be doing is sleep. That's why you were late today and the same a few days ago and a week ago what is going on with you? It's starting to affect our missions!"

* * *

Sasuke pov-

Why won't he just tell me what's wrong stubborn idiot!

"Please Naruto, just tell me what's wrong."

"I…. my dreams, they keep me from getting any rest. When I wake I feel more tired than when I went to sleep." He says in a quiet voice.

"What's wrong with your dreams that they could do that to you?"

"It's, I, look I'll be fine tomorrow. Just …don't tell anyone I'm having trouble sleeping. I don't want to lose any missions cuz I haven't slept in over a month." He said it so quietly I hardly made out what he said, but I did and I'm shocked.

"You, you haven't slept in over a month, but how I don't understand Naruto. Now, you have to tell me you're no good to us if you can't function. No one, can function like that!" I was getting frustrated how could he, not be sleeping.

"Fine but this doesn't leave the room." He said letting out a defeated sigh.

End chapter 1---

(tbc)

Please r/r let me know what ya think of my first fic… like it? Hate it? whatever I'd love to know

Thanks


	2. Chapter 2

Warnings- yaoi, mpreg, rape of a minor, language…

Pairings: Sasuke/Naruto, Kakashi/Iruka

"…" -talking

'….' -Character thoughts

(_dream_)

-time laps

The story is about to begin I hope you enjoy… please r/r

WHY

Chapter 2: secrets revealed**-**

Naruto pov-

We were sitting on top our small bed we were told to share, silently watching each other. The room is complete dark except for the little moonlight seeping through the window next to us. I see him frown, waiting for me to begin.

With a sigh I look away not sure I can look at him while I tell him… while I tell him all I wished to keep secret. I know once I tell him others will know. Sighing again I seem to do that a lot lately, I begin.

"My dreams... are like part of me that is caged. I only see it when I'm sleeping. But when I'm sleeping its like I'm reliving that part of my life." I stop to take a deep breath before looking back up at him.

"What part is that?" I wish he wouldn't ask. Once I start I don't think I can stop.

"What was I saying in my sleep?" I ask hoping it's not what I think it is.

"You were, it was… 'Stop, please stop. No I don't..' You don't what?" he looks worried. I'm more afraid that he's worried than mad.

"I…" I pause still unsure I bite my lip a nervous habit I know but once started its hard to stop.

"Naruto you said you'd tell me, so spill. What's up?" 'Why does he seem so concerned? Now, after all this time?'

Taking a deep breath I stare at my lap hands tightly clasped "The dream I was having, is when I was about 9. I'm sleeping in my bed when, I'm awaken by 3 men who barge into my apartment. They're drunk and really don't like me. They're hitting me and calling me names saying that a fox is close enough to a dog for them and that I needed to learn how to be a good little bitch." I pause trying to keep myself from shaking and yelling it out, but I have to continue he wants to know so I'll let him know it all it's the only way.

"What?" Is all he says his eye's widening.

"He kisses me his breath is foul from the alcohol. He kisses me so hard that my lips are bruised and feel like there about to bleed. Then I'm hit to the floor, he likes to feel like he's in control and he is. Before I have time to even think my mouth is forced open and filled by the man who had kissed me. Not satisfied by raping my mouth he threw me onto the bed. My clothes are ripped off me and he forced my legs apart. The next thing I knew I was in pain, so much pain that screaming couldn't express it. I felt like I was being ripped apart. Only thing was when he was done there was still two others who wanted there fun as well."

"Oh. My god. You were only 9, how could someone.." I cut him off continuing with the story.

"There was so much blood on the bed I thought I was going to die! For some reason I didn't. I guess we now know why, the damn fox, fucking parasite wouldn't let me die from that. I remember sitting in the bathtub for a few hours only to return to see the bed again. I tried to scrub it clean but it just wouldn't go away all I saw was red and I was covered in it again I stayed in the bathroom for over a day scrubbing myself until I was red everywhere and in some places bleeding again."

"Naruto did you tell the Hokage? Anyone?" he asks sounding like he knows my answer even before I give it.

"No, just you. No one else." I say in a quiet voice. "If I had, that probably would have been the end of it, but I kept my mouth shut and after three years they stopped. I had gotten used to it. I closed myself off from it. I couldn't stop them at least I didn't think I could. I didn't know I had any strength and I thought they would kill me. They threatened enough times to make me think they could." Sasuke let out a growl frowning with worry. 'He looks really mad maybe I shouldn't have told him.' "Don't worry about them. It was taken care of eventually."

"What do you mean?"

"4 months ago, they were killed, so I heard. All three of them in a raid. Stupid nobles and there bastard personal guards. No one is invincible they always have a weakness."

"Nobles did that to you?" he says in shocked horror I think.

I sighed what else could I do I was tired and I felt so drained I just wanted to curl into a little ball and sleep forever.

* * *

Sasuke pov-

How could he keep something so painful to himself, for so long? He looks so hurt and tired. He shouldn't be on this mission. I don't know how to comfort him what could I possibly say that would help.

Reaching out I pull him to me, he seems so frail all of a sudden. He whimpers but he doesn't stop me. I wrap my arms around him wanting him to always be safe I know it won't happen but for tonight I can keep him that way.

"What are you doing?" I hear him whisper.

"Shh, just sleep!" and I wrap them tighter. With his head buried in my chest his hair tickling my nose I feel him shudder and know he's crying again.

"Why are you?" he asks but I quiet him by rubbing his back then run my fingers through his blonde hair. He sighed.

Soon after, we were both asleep. We were so tired that we slept later than we should have.

* * *

Normal pov-

"Kakashi where are they? They're late!" Sakura stated annoyed at her team mates and there lack of showing up.

"Sakura there only.. uh kay an hour late why don't we go get them." He said walking away from her back to the inn.

Walking up to the door they knocked once getting no answer they set about opening it themselves.

Opening the door they stood there not knowing exactly what to say. The sight before them was not what they expected.

* * *

Sasuke pov-

I opened my eyes at the sound of the door opening. Seeing who it was quickly I looked back down at Naruto who was peacefully sleeping in my arms still. No traces of the nightmare or the talk we had on his sleeping face. Tearing my eye's away from him I looked back at Kakashi and the stunned Sakura.

"Sasuke-kun, you're late! Why are you and,… I don't think I want to know. It all makes sense now." Sakura said about to turn around.

Looking at her it didn't click what she was referring to until I looked back at Naruto in my arms. "Sakura, its not what it looks like." I state calmly.

"No its okay I understand." She said softly smiling.

"Understand what?" At that we both turn to look the one who had spoke.

* * *

Naruto pov-

I woke feeling so much better and warm so warm I just wanted to snuggle more with the warmness around me. Why are people talking around me? I spoke before I ever opened my eyes.

"Understand what?" I said then I opened my eye's to look into onyx colored eyes. I blink a moment before I understand myself what I'm looking at. But, instead of jumping out of his arms, which are still around me. I smile.

"Thank you!" I say so quiet I can hardly hear it myself.

"Any time!" He answered; my heart is pounding so hard from his voice I have to close my eye's to try to gain control of myself. I hope the others don't notice this. Wait the others.

My eye's fly open so fast that I jump knocking Sasuke back on the bed so I can see that indeed we are not alone.

"Uh!" is all I manage to say I'm sure I'm blushing by now.

"How about breakfast you two?" Kakashi called out completely unfazed at his two male members of his team sleeping in each others arms.

"Uh!" damn this isn't working why did it feel so good to wake up in his arms, and at the same time so embarrassing?

* * *

Sasuke pov-

20 minutes later-

"So, I don't know how to start!" Sakura said a light blush tinting her cheeks.

"Start what?" I ask dryly hoping Sakura won't start in on what had happened between Naruto and I.

"How long have you two been together?" Crap she asked. I had a feeling she would jump to conclusions.

"We're not, together!" Naruto said from behind me.

"But you and he, you, last night in bed?" She stammered out confused.

"Nothing happened Sakura-chan, Sasuke and I, are friends. And I mean did you see the size of that bed come on he's lucky I didn't knock him out instead, I move around a lot in my sleep ya know."

"But you were in his arms!" she presses.

"Do you not try to comfort your friends when they need it? We just happen to fall asleep." Man, how can he be so calm? He's never calm.

"I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions then." Sakura said. Though she didn't sound like she believed either of us on the matter.

* * *

Naruto pov-

"Why did you come to that one to start off with? Why would you think that Sasuke would be involved with me like that? How is he ever going to revive his clan if he's with a guy come on Sakura chan! Really I wonder about you some times." I say in a teasing tone.

"I, don't know. Just forget I even said anything. Besides we have a mission today. I'm glad your feeling better today Naruto."

"Me too. Well, we should be going. No need to keep our noble, waiting right!" I say with a smile.

"Naruto!" Sasuke said looking at me.

"What? No worries, Sasuke." I say my mask firmly placed as I smile at them and start to walk away. "Come on we have a mission to do!" I call out over my shoulder at the two.

The noble we're escorting is nice enough. He hasn't made one comment yet about Kyubbi. I couldn't be any happier than to not have to listen to another 'why is HE with us?' and 'I don't want a Demon around me he might kill us all in our sleep!' come on if I wanted them dead I wouldn't wait for them to sleep, really.

So he was nice enough didn't complain much only that he was happy to have some time away from his nagging wife and children though he loves them dearly. They can become too much to handle at times. So here he was away visiting another village for some meeting he didn't want to attend so he could be alone.

Nobles can be quite tiresome at times. finally were going to set up camp for the night. I'm glad, I'm still tired. Not quite caught up on my rest though the night before had helped.

End chapter 2

(tbc)

''''mpreg will be in later chapters''''

(and if there are any typo's I'm sorry I tried to fix them all before uploading this chapter)

Thanks for reading

As always lost in a thought


	3. Chapter 3

Warnings see first two chapters…. 

Pairing: Sasuke/Naruto, Kakashi/Iruka.

**WHY**

Chapter 3: the mission-

Normal pov-

Setting up camp for the night the three had set up a small tent for the client as Kakashi made a perimeter check. When they were finished with that they set about there own bed rolls. The team took their turns on guard duty doing perimeter checks and doing basically nothing else but the security of their camp site.

"Naruto take first watch than Sasuke, Sakura you okay with being last?" Kakashi said more than asked.

"That's fine." She says around a yawn more than happy to get some rest.

"Good. I'll wake you when it's your shift." Kakashi states heading to his bed roll as she nods.

The team went to there bedrolls all except Naruto who did another perimeter check before heading back to the fire poking at it a few times while he got comfortable or as comfortable as one can get on a log.

His shift was beyond uneventful nothing happened even the light snoring was boring. Finally when his shift ended he crouched down by Sasuke to wake him. Happy at the prospect of getting some rest.

* * *

Naruto pov-

'I hate to wake him he looks so peaceful laying there, even if it is on hard ground. Oh well I gotta. I need sleep too.' with a quick nod to himself he set about waking the other.

"Sasuke it's your shift." I say lightly shaking him. Slowly he opens his eyes.

"Mm" he lets out looking at me with his sleep glazed eyes.

"It's your shift, come on let me get some sleep." I say with a yawn trying to cover up the smile that started to spread across my face.

"Alright" he yawns stretching.

I move away from him and towards my own bed for the night. Climbing in I look over to see that he's just starting his own perimeter check before sitting in the same spot I had just been sitting. I let out a small yawn and close my eye's hoping I have another peaceful rest.

* * *

Sasuke pov-

After settling on the log I stare into the fire still not awake. I keep seeing, those eyes, looking down at me. So, trusting and tired, but beautiful even in the dead of night. They're beautiful and some how calm my heart, that was originally beating fast from seeing them. 'What has happen to me? What have you done to me that I'm thinking these things baka?' I look over my shoulder to see him not fully asleep yet. 'I hope he can sleep tonight, even if I love the feel of him in my arms'.

It's getting closer to my shift ending nothing is happening, just the way we like it. Quiet; except for the light snoring from the others. Finally I go over to Kakashi to wake him. I swear he was awake before I even got off the log.

Just as I'm climbing back into my bedroll I hear a noise that is familiar yet shouldn't be heard. Frowning I pull my bed roll over to him and laying as close as I can I wrap an arm around him. Ignoring the odd look I get from Kakashi.

"Shh, it's okay." I whisper into his ear.

He turns in his sleep to face me and buries his head into my chest letting out a sigh as he gets more comfortable. With my arm wrapped around him, he drifts off to a more peaceful rest, as I settle into one myself. All the while Kakashi is still watching us.

* * *

Naruto pov-

'Why do I feel so warm? What is this feeling I don't understand? I feel so safe so comfortable with this sent covering me. I could breathe it in forever. Why do I know this sent? It's so masculine and yet there's a smell of lavender there.' Burrowing closer to the sent I sigh feeling strong arms tighten around me.

Wait since when are there arms wrapped around me? And I know this sent its, oh god, do I know this sent. I've dreamt of this sent wrapped around me why is he though? Do I chance opening my eyes; will this dream fade and leave me alone again?

Slowly I open them seeing nothing but the darkness of his shirt. 'It's, not a dream. But why?' Shifting my head up slightly I see his face. I see his eye's start to flutter open. Its morning and the others are already up. I hear them, I don't want to but I do. Closing my eye's I rest my head against his strong chest again trying to control my heart that suddenly started racing.

"Oh good, your up! Maybe now you could wake your, er, um, wake Naruto so we can head out soon." Sakura said. She must be looking at us lying on the ground behind her.

I feel him shift slightly and his arm has moved off me. Only, to rest his hand on my cheek. Lightly he's caressing it.

"Hey, it's time to get up." Sasuke whispered.

"Mm… 5 more minutes, 'em comfy." I moan not moving to get up.

"Sorry but I think we've already over slept. Get up dobe!" Sasuke said taking his hand away from my cheek.

"Humph. Fine!" Damn why did they all have to be up. "Do we get breakfast?"

"If you get up now you do!" Sakura stated before taking a bite of her food.

Hearing this, we quickly got up and put our bedrolls away before sitting down to eat.

Kami sama knows it's the only meal I take time to have. I'm surprised they haven't said anything about that! I used to consume 5 bowls of ramen in one sitting. I don't understand why my appetite has dropped so much.

* * *

Normal pov-

The mission was only supposed to take a few days. Take the noble to the village they wanted then come back. Simple as could be, they couldn't have asked for a simpler mission.

The third day out when they were on their way home, Sakura couldn't keep her thoughts quiet anymore. She had, had enough of waking to find her two male team- mates in each others arms and the both of them still saying they had no attraction to the other.

She wasn't buying it; she could see it in their eyes and the way they snuggled while they slept. She knew just knew there had to be more going on.

So going up to Naruto she waited for him to start talking before she said anything. Knowing he couldn't stand her keeping silent for to long.

* * *

Naruto pov-

"What is it Sakura?" I ask her sighing. I know there's something she wants to talk about. I just hope it's not 'that'.

"It's just that." She starts licking her lips as if still in thought. "I know what you said the first morning but, I was just wondering how you really feel about Sasuke!" Oh I was hoping I really was. I guess I didn't do it well enough. She asked me the one thing I didn't have a real answer for. If I lie she'll know, she can always tell when I'm lying.

"What do you mean? He's my rival like he always has been, and my best friend. Why do you ask?" I try to keep my blush down. I don't know why I'm blushing every time I think about him.

"Why has he been waking up next to you every morning? You seem closer than just friends." She asks point blank.

"Well what we seem and what we are, seem to be two different things! What do you think we are hmm?" I ask trying to turn it around on her.

"I figured you knew how I thought! When I first saw you, I was shocked. But then, it was cute to see you both so happy in your sleep a way I haven't seen either of you. I was happy for you, but you keep saying that you're not together." She said frowning.

"Why would you think that we were? That we would like guys? I never thought I gave any indication with all my flirting with girls and such."

"Naruto, no girl wants to date a guy that's prettier than them." She says with that knowing smile she gets.

Frowning I look at her. "Well then why won't they date me? I'm not pretty! Guys aren't supposed to be pretty. I know I'm small but come on how could I be to pretty to get a date?"

"Oh Naruto, you have no idea how you look do you? When you were younger maybe, but now that you're older and have grown as you have, you put most woman to shame. You're small, petite, all curvy like a woman. Plus you have never dated any girls and have always tried to be better than Sasuke-kun and he you. It just seemed, logical that you would be together." 'Logical she says hmm'

"We fight constantly, we never agree unless it's to fight. He insults me every chance he gets and I him. Why would you say it's logical to think we were together? And I'm not all curvy like a woman! I'm a 17 year old guy Sakura chan" I complain with a pout firmly placed.

"It was all foreplay Naruto. You fight more with the people you love. If you didn't care for each other you would have run out of insults for each other a long time ago." She says smiling that now annoying smile again. "Well I'll let you be." She says before dropping behind me.

'Hmm what the hell is she talking about, foreplay, hah! Well okay I do like him, but he's only there to comfort me. He wouldn't like me in _that_ way. That just doesn't make sense.'

* * *

Sasuke pov-

'Hmm what are they talking about? He's frowning that's not good. Crap she's coming back here!'

"So Sasuke-kun" 'Oh great, just what I need.'

"Hn?" I grunt not wanting to talk to her I know what it's about but I don't want to talk about it.

"I was wondering if you could shed some light."

"And how is that possible? Sunshine boy is up there!" I state.

"Yes well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about!"

"Why?" 'I don't want to talk about him right now I just get more confused.'

"He still seems to be off, not quite himself. He's hardly been eating and I was wondering if you could…?"

"What? I've done what I can for him already. I wish I could do more I just don't know how. He hasn't told me the whole story I know he hasn't but there's nothing I can do about it." Crap I might have said too much.

"What have you done I'm lost?" yep I know I have.

"All he needs right now is to know people care for him. So go be a friend!"

"I should say the same to you. You know, he cares for you too. I just wish you two would admit it to each other."

"Hn."

"Fine I see how this is going. Just so you know, I see what the two of you are refusing to see, even Kakashi sensei can see it so don't think your fooling anyone Sasuke." With that said she moved away and placed herself between Naruto and myself.

Finally as night was starting come upon us we decided to make camp for the night we'd be in Konoha the next day weather we stopped or not.

* * *

Norm pov-

"There's no need for us all to take shifts tonight. I noticed that you two were taking longer shifts than needed so why don't you two head off to bed Sakura and I can take shift alright." Kakashi stated.

"Wait, that's not fair to you two. I'm fine to take a shift Kakashi sensei." Naruto said looking up defiantly.

"No, you're not. You're still not with it yet, just get some rest." Kakashi said not leaving any room for discussion.

"Naruto he's right just go to sleep." Sasuke said siding with the others.

"No I'm taking my shift. I refuse to have you all order me around like I'm a child I may be younger and chuunin, but that's just bull shit." Not caring that he's being a stubborn ass about it. He just didn't want to go to sleep where he couldn't control himself.

Sighing Sasuke walked over to Naruto grabbed his wrist and pulled him away from the others.

"Stop that! Let go of my wrist. That hurts teme." Naruto complained.

Ignoring his complaint Sasuke pulled the other along none the less. Stopping after he put some distance from the others. He looked down into Naruto's eye's concern laced over his features.

"What?" Naruto said looking up into a pair of onyx eyes a slight pout starting to form.

"Look, they're worried about you baka. They just want to make sure your getting enough sleep and quite frankly so am I. So just get some sleep for once."

After a short silence Naruto looked away then back up at Sasuke "Are you going to sleep with me again?" Naruto asked in a quiet voice.

"If you, want me to." Sasuke sighed wanting nothing more than to do just that.

"Sasuke I. I'm so.. tired." Naruto said in a sad quiet voice.

"Come on lets get you to bed!" Sasuke stated gently pulling Naruto back to his bed roll. He didn't struggle against Sasuke he didn't complain as the covers were pulled over him he let sleep cover him as he closed his eye's breathing in Sasuke's calming sent.

* * *

Sasuke pov-

He's been asleep for a few hours the others are keeping to there word with there shifts Kakashi kept telling me to go to bed as well but I stayed up.

It had to be around 11pm that the first sounds from Naruto started. I looked over at Kakashi to see if he had heard him. Sure enough he had and so had Sakura who was now awake and looking over at Naruto.

I lower my head letting out a sad sigh. I know what he's dreaming about its not hard to figure it out he told me all about it and I've heard it every night since the mission started. It's no wonder he hadn't been getting any sleep.

I climb to my feet and drag my bedroll next to Naruto's. I don't see why I don't just put it there to begin with. I guess I keep hoping he won't have another dream and be fine for a night. But then I wouldn't get to wake with him in my arms, hmm. He seems to be having a really bad one this time he's all but kicking in his sleep I see the tears starting to stream. I wipe them away and put my lips by his ear.

"Shh its okay. There's nothing to be scared of." I whisper in his hear. Slowly he turns his body so he's facing me and buries his head in my chest as I wrap my arms around him like I've been doing for the past few nights.

I know the others were watching but there was nothing I could do. They heard his scared pleas. I saw their eye's widen when they realized what he was dreaming of. At least a general idea. I hate to think what they'll say tomorrow.

Sighing I let the warmth of his body lull me to sleep as I hear him sigh as well his hot breath seeping through my shirt to warm my skin even more and I felt my heart skip a beat at that. I close my eye's and let sleep pull me away.

* * *

Naruto pov-

There looking at me strangely, more so than normal. What happened after I fell asleep? Crap did I have another dream? I must have I woke up with Sasuke surrounding me. Hmm I love that feeling being held close to him being able to breathe him in all night long.

I felt so much comfort from him. I felt so safe and warm like nothing could go wrong if I were in his arms. Just thinking about it makes me smile.

They're still looking at me glancing here and there. We're almost to Konoha, they need to stop. I'm starting to get nervous.

"That's it. What is going on here? Stop looking at me like that." I order and they all stop, the only one that wasn't looking at me was Sasuke but he already knew so much that wasn't a surprise.

"Naruto, do you want to talk about it?" Sakura starts. 'She seems unsure what to say though.'

"Talk about what?" I say angry I just want to go home and take a hot shower.

"Your dream, last night!" she continues. 'Oh god was it that bad.. FUCK!'

"Sakura I don't think my dreams have anything to do with you, they are the past and I'd like to forget the past."

"Naruto you were screaming and the minute Sasuke whispered in your ear you were fine. Is this why he's been sleeping with you?"

'Cut right to the point don't-cha.'

"Naruto we can't help you if you don't tell us what's going on." Kakashi states. Great, just what I need him siding with Sakura. I'm never going to get out of this now. I take a quick glance at Sasuke but he's still looking away, I can see the sadness on his face though. I know this is not going to be easy.

"Fine you want to know. I'll tell you then I can go on with my fucking life." Great there goes my calm control over all this and I was doing so well before I opened my mouth damn it.

"Naruto, you don't…." Sasuke starts to say, concern lacing through his whole body.

"No, they wanted to know. I'll tell them." 'sigh lets see how should I start I know be blunt and hope they leave me alone.' "I'm a little demon whore that no one loves unless they're fucking me and then they only love to hurt me and make sure I know my place. I'm a bitch in the gutter no one should look at me. I should be dead that's where… that's where… I …. Should be." I can't help the tears that are falling I know they don't understand at least not like they should all but Sasuke, he knows.

"Naruto stop it. It's not your fault." Sasuke yelled at me. I couldn't stand any longer and I let myself collapse to the ground. I've been holding this all in for so long. "You're not a demon and you're not a whore! You're a broken hurt boy stop." Sasuke said wrapping his arms around me as I sob crumpling on to the ground.

'Why? Why is he so worried he shouldn't like me, he shouldn't have his arms around me but I don't want them to ever leave me. I just want him to stay and tell me everything is alright that he loves me. That he loves me… oh god 'I love him' '

"You just had to push him. Gods, Naruto please stop crying, it's okay. 'They're' dead 'they' can't hurt you anymore 'they' will never hurt you again." He sounds so strong and so sad as I'm shuddering in his arms.

Slowly I lift my head to his shoulder I'm only slightly shuddering now I'm so tired all this crying makes me so tired. I could fall asleep in his arms right now but I have to get up were wasting time just sitting here waiting for me to get back up.

"I'm okay now Sasuke." I let out a sigh as I start to walk back to our village.

* * *

Sasuke pov-

Slowly I let him back up. I look at the others I'm so angry at them. Why did they have to ask? I told them I was taking care of it. Why now look at him.

"Are you sure?" I ask him. He doesn't say anything just nods his head. "Well if were done here why don't we get home, you look tired."

"You always say that!" he says sadly but smiles at me none the less.

"Well can't help that I state the obvious. Let's go!" I say trying to hold in my emotions.

We set off again towards home. Funny I never really considered it home before.

We reach the gates of Konoha sometime after noon. Upon meeting with Hokage the others are looking oddly towards Naruto I'm not sure if he notices it though he's still kinda out of it.

"Naruto you may go." She says looking worriedly at him.

"Alright baachan." He says while turning around and leaves not saying another word as he goes.

* * *

Normal pov-

"Alright what's going on with him?" she asks when the doors are closed.

"Hokage sama, I'd like to ask for him to be placed on off duty for now." Kakashi states.

"What? Why?" Tsunade asks startled at his words.

"He's not himself." Kakashi states looking into her eyes, pleading with her to trust him on this.

"How?" Tsunade questions looking between the three seated in front of her.

"He's become quiet, taking more care in what he says like he's afraid what we might say or think of him." Kakashi stated trying to keep the worry out of his voice.

"He's losing weight too, he hardly ate during the mission!" Sakura adds.

"He's been having reoccurring dreams lately that leave him feeling tired and." Sasuke starts just to be interrupted.

"And what?" Tsunade asks before he could even finish.

"He thinks he's worthless. That no one loves him because he's a demon that everyone wants gone." Sasuke says sadly.

"Why would he think that?" Tsunade asked her brows furrowed.

"Because that's what he was punished to believe. I know I shouldn't be the one to tell you or to tell anyone and I won't tell anyone else but he's hurt so bad that I don't know how to help him." Sasuke said sadly.

Everyone sat down while Sasuke retold the story he was told the first night of there mission. He didn't look up to see their reaction until he had finished knowing that if he looked up they'd have questions.

"So you see why I'm at a loss of what else I can do." Sasuke stated once he finished.

"How, could someone hurt such a beautiful child?" Tsunade said pained at the information she received.

"I never knew. How could he smile the way he does after all that?" Sakura said sadly.

"Sakura if he were to stop than he would believe that he's what they say. He needed the façade to survive he couldn't let anyone know that he couldn't handle life." Sasuke said understanding that need.

"Sasuke I think maybe you should have him come live with you." Tsunade said looking lost in her own thoughts.

"Are you sure Hokage sama? Will he be relived of active duty?" Sasuke asks.

"I think for right now that would be a good idea until he's more himself. I will inform Naruto that he's to gather a few of his things and head to your place."

"That's alright, I'll let him know. He won't be happy if he knows that I told you about what happened."

"I'll tell him I ordered you now you should go find him. Everyone's dismissed I'd like a report in a week about how he's doing."

"Hai Hokage sama."

The three left the office of the Hokage and went there separate ways. Sakura to her parents, Kakashi to his apartment he shared with Iruka and Sasuke he headed to Naruto's already tired at the thought of what was to come.

Chapter end

(tbc)

Thank you to all my reviewers your nicer than I could have hoped for .

Please do continue to review it makes me want to continue to write

As always lost in thought


	4. Chapter 4

**WHY**

Chapter 4: New beginnings part 1

Naruto pov-

"It's open!" I yell, 'I really don't want to move.' I groan, my head properly buried in the couch, soon after I had yelled, I could hear the door creak open.

"You know, that's not a safe thing to do?" I hear from the door way before the door is shut.

"Hmm, don't care! What do you want?" I ask already half asleep on my broken couch face only half buried in the cushion now, since I find air helpful to living.

"Pack a bag!" He orders like I'm going to just jump up and do that. A little smug are we humph.

"Why?" I grumble not moving from my spot, almost ready to give him a pout. No scratch that I will not pout at him I won't.'

"Hokage sama has ordered you to stay with me for a while." 'He sounds tired. Of course he's tired I'm tired.'

"Why?" 'What did I do? Why would she order me to stay with him?' "She never told me this!"

"Kakashi sensei has gotten you taken off of active duty. And the only way your gonna get back on is when your better." He states firmly. "He did it right after you left. He's worried every one is worried!" 'Now I am pouting, I guess my little freak out left a bad taste for them damn.'

"Great, so I'm never going back to work. Just kill me know and save yourself some time. They never seemed to worry about me before so why start now?" I say almost getting to the hysterics. 'Why is this all happening now I don't understand? First the dreams started coming then phantom pains. I can hardly eat over all this stress and now this. Who the hell did I piss off?'

"Naruto don't say that. Just pack a bag so I can go home. I'm tired; you're tired it's been a stressful mission for everyone. Please, don't make this harder than it already is." 'Harder on who I was just told I have no job and I'm being forced to move! I don't mind that it's with him but I have no choice in the matter and that's what angers me.'

"Alright, fine, fuck it I'm going." I grumbled as I get up from the couch and go back to my bedroom. "So, why did she say, I'm to stay at your place?" I yell from the bedroom. "I could have stayed anywhere! I could have stayed home! Why do I have to go to your place?" 'He told her didn't he? After I told him not to! But I did tell the others, they probably voiced their worry to her and he told her. Ugh what a mess. This is all my fault, once again way to go Naruto, why don't-cha just jump off the mountain while you're at it.'

"Does it matter? She ordered it so I complied. Now hurry up."

I quickly packed a bag and made sure to grab my ramen. Who knows what Sasuke has in his house; at least I can eat that. Rolling my eye's at him slouched against the wall arms folded across his chest. 'God could he look any more annoyingly… 'Hot!' stop thinking like that, your going to be living with him baka.

"Kay I'm ready!" I say coming out of my closet bag in hand

"Good!" he says pushing off the wall before making his way to the door. Holding it open for me I blush then yell at him to move on so I can shut and lock the damn door and we were on our way to his large scary overly Uchiha house.

* * *

Sasuke pov-

When we got to my house, I let him in before me. He seems almost hesitant to enter though. It's not like he hasn't been here before.

"Is something wrong?" He looks up sheepishly at me and I frown, waiting for his answer what does he have to worry about being here?

"N-no nothings wrong. Where will I be sleeping oh gracious Uchiha san?" he asks through a stutter and covering it with a yawn. 'Why is he acting so strange and what's with this Uchiha san crap?'

"Hn. I'll show you. It's next to mine, so if you need anything…" I say trailing off as we head up the stairs.

"Alright." He said it so quietly I could hardly hear him as we went up the flight of stairs. Going down the hall we pass my bedroom door and I opened the next one stepping aside for him to enter the room.

"Whoa, this room… is huge!" he said his eye's wide with surprise but his voice barely a whisper.

"You think so?" it's no bigger than the rest of the rooms I think looking around the room. It's got a bed big enough for two, a dresser a couple of night stands and that's about it not much else, but he looks over whelmed. I forgot that he lives in a small one bedroom that is hardly bigger than this room maybe by a foot or two.

"Did you not see my apartment? This is more than..."

"Well anyways." I said cutting him off. "Like I said I'm next door and the bathroom is across the hall. I'm gonna get some sleep. You should probably do the same." I say about to turn and head to my room.

"Yea, alright." He sounds sad.

"Naruto?" I say turning around.

"Hmm?"

"I… what'd ya say we get some ramen, when I wake up!" I offer not happy at how out of it he seems. Plus ramen always seem to make him happy it's a wonder he's not over weight by how much he eats but no he's so small its easy to mistake him as a female which some of our client have in the past. I think with a smirk.

"Sure sounds good. If I'm still asleep wake me kay." He says furrowing his brows. Nodding I turn back to my room.

Closing the door behind me I wait to move until I hear the door to the next room shut as well. I lay down on my bed only taking the time to pull my shirt off, I'm so tired but for some reason I can't fall asleep. 'Damn I must have gotten used to sleeping next to him.'

Just as I'm about to fall asleep to the quiet of my house I hear him. He's sobbing. Why is he sobbing? Should I go to him? Crap I'm not gonna get any sleep as long as I hear him.

I slide the door open to my room and quickly go to his. I'm so quiet he doesn't hear me. Slowly I start to move towards his bed where he's in a tight ball his body shaking looking so frail due to his size.

* * *

Naruto pov-

I didn't hear him enter my room. Until the bed shifted from his slight weight I had no idea he was there. Subconsciously I rolled over into his arms as he wrapped them around me.

"Shh Naruto, why are you crying?" he asked his voice so soft against my ear. I sigh moving ever closer. Why, why am I crying? I don't' know everything is just so messed up right now.

"I'm, I'm so.. sorry. Sorry I'm doing this to you. I don't deserve for you to be so kind." I choke out through my sobbing. "I'm such a weak person to cry over nothing."

"Naruto shh, it's okay. Your not weak you're the strongest person I know and you deserve so much more than what I give you." He says laying my head down on his chest while he rubs small circles on my back. I never knew this could feel so good to have someone to comfort me I've never had it before other than Iruka sensei. But he's not there all the time I want this, whatever this is… I want it.

I stifle my sobs letting his body calm me. As I lay there against his chest I start thinking back over what Sakura had said the other day. A smile plays with my lips as my eye's start to flutter shut. In a quiet voice, I'm not sure I'm voicing a question at him or just thinking it.

"Do you think I'm pretty?" with that my eye's fall shut as I breath deep his sent that lulls me to sleep comfortably in his arms.

* * *

Sasuke pov-

"Do you think I'm pretty?" he asks in a sleepy voice almost a whisper.

I blink. I don't know what to say. I hear him fall asleep as he asked the question. I feel the heat rise to my cheeks and I'm glad he's asleep and can't see me. He'd never let me live it down that I blushed at such a question. I'm an Uchiha, we don't blush! We hardly smile, we are tough and sophisticated we are not people to blush at silly things such as a question.

Quietly so's not to wake him I answer. "No, you're beautiful" I kiss the top of his head brushing a stay hair from his face. Hearing him sigh in his sleep I close my eye's to sleep away my confusion of his simple question.

* * *

Somewhere else in Konoha-

"Kakashi, where's Naruto? I can see you're back, but he's not home. I checked Ichiraku's, his apartment, he's not there and I can't think of where else he could be. I've checked everywhere."

"Iruka, saiai calm down, he's fine. He won't be back to his place for a while if ever." Kakashi stated calmly.

"What are you talking about? Where is he?" asked a frantic Iruka.

"He's at Sasuke's." Kakashi stated tiredly.

"What? Why would he be there?" Iruka asked surprised.

"Calm down, he's living with him for right now on orders of Hokage sama."

"Why?" Iruka asked worry even more present his eyes than before.

"You'll have to talk to him about it love." Kakashi said wanting nothing more than to take his lover home and remind him that he just came home from a mission.

"Fine I'll do just that." Iruka said and started off in the direction of the Uchiha estates.

"Hey wait. They're probably sleeping Iruka. Don't I get a welcome home kiss?" Kakashi pouted chasing after his worried lover.

"You'll get one when I see that he's safe and sound." Iruka huffed walking away.

"Fine, then I'll come with you. If only he knew how much you worried over him, he'd feel so much better." Kakashi muttered to himself.

The two walked to Sasuke's house. Knocking on it Iruka got angry when no one had answered. He knocked again still no answer. Turning to his lover he pouted.

"Kakashi do something about this!" Iruka huffed.

"Okay, okay stop pouting!" He said letting out a sigh fiddling with the door for a moment he quickly let his lover into the house finding it still silent. "Maybe they're asleep." He offered.

"Right!" Iruka said walking towards the stairs. Going to the first door he found the room empty, except for a shirt rumpled on the floor. Frowning he moved on the next. Opening it just as quietly as the other he peered in. letting his breathe out at the sight of Naruto sleeping before he took in the whole scene.

"Shh, don't wake them." Kakashi said peering over the younger mans shoulder.

"Wha.. What's going on?" Iruka whispered to him.

"They're sleeping!" Kakashi stated wrapping his arms around his lover's waist as if it was perfectly normal for the two to be sleeping on the bed together.

Iruka looked at them. Naruto cuddled up against Sasuke his head resting on the others chest and an arm resting comfortably over him.

"They're so beautiful lying there like that!" Iruka sighed. "I've never seen him sleep so peacefully." Iruka let out a just barely a whisper of uncontrollable happiness for the two.

They decided to let the two sleep on, now that Iruka knew Naruto was safe and sound he was beyond happy.

They left Sasuke's and once outside Iruka turned to Kakashi with one of his 'to die for smiles'.

"I'm sorry I'm such a worrywart. Why do you put up with me?" Iruka said through the pout he was trying to wear.

"Cuz I love you!" Kakashi said bending slightly to press his lips to the others.

"Mm, say it again." Iruka murmured his lips still a whispered touch against Kakashi's.

"I love you." Kakashi said smiling before taking his lips in a kiss again.

"How long have they been together?" Iruka asked a confused smile on his face as he pulled slightly away.

"Who ever said they were? If you ask them they don't like each other that way. But if you watch them while they sleep or comfort each other you'd say they were destined to be together. But I've thought that for years." Kakashi said wrapping an arm around his love as they walked back to their apartment.

* * *

Sasuke pov-

I woke up to a warmth I was starting to get used to. Like it was burrowing deep inside me and making me see things I never dreamt I could have seen.

I opened my eye's to see a head of blond hair resting on my chest. I smile at the knowledge of who it is. I let out a small sigh and wait for him to wake not wanting to move, other than to run a hand lightly through his mess of blonde hair.

Smiling again since he's asleep and can't see it. I let myself lightly dose until he wakes up.

* * *

Naruto pov-

I awoke to a slightly dark room. My head resting on a moving pillow and a sent that if I didn't move would lull me back to sleep. I smile knowing who it is and I can feel his eye's on me. Slowly I move my head so I can look up at him.

Looking up into those dark ebony eyes. I smile and am locked in his gaze, I can't move my body from his and I don't want to. I see his hand move towards me. My breath hitches as it gently caresses my cheek.

Finally I find my voice as a blush spreads across my face. "Sa.. Sasuke?" I question he says nothing dropping his hand as he lets out a sigh.

"I was wondering when you'd wake up. Feel better?" He asks softly.

"Mhmm, much better!" I said quietly still resting on his chest I don't want to move and he hasn't made me yet, maybe he won't.

"You hungry? Well that was a stupid question of course you are."

"No, I'm not that hungry. But if you are then I'll move." I say sadness' seeping into my voice.

"You're not hungry? I thought you said you were feeling better?" He questions me his brows furrowing.

"I am, feeling better! I'm just not hungry for some reason my appetite has changed and I don't eat as much. But it's okay as long as I'm still eating its fine right." Plastering a bright smile on my face hopeful he doesn't notice it doesn't reach my eye's

"And what does Tsunade sama think about this?"

"I haven't told her about this. It's not a big deal I'll live. It's not like it's my biggest problem ya know. Why don't you go eat and maybe later I'll be hungry."

"Alright, but come with me. Maybe once you smell food you'll be hungry."

"Fine, just give me a minute alright." I say grumpy I have to move away from his body.

"Fine." He says moving off the bed and heading towards the door.

(20 minutes later sitting at Ichiraku's….)

"You sure?" Sasuke asked yet again as he ate more of his ramen.

"Fine I'll eat one bowl!" I said rolling my eye's at the persistent person next to me. I'm not hungry, I don't see why I have to eat.

I ordered my bowl of ramen and sat silently waiting for it to be set in front of me. I feel his eye's on me the entire time. I don't look at him I know he's thinking all sorts of things about me right now. Probably thinking how did he get stuck taking care of the dobe.

Sighing I run my hands through my hair just as my ramen appears. Sighing again I break my chopsticks and slowly begin to eat. Never once do I look up at him but I know he's watching me. "Please stop staring at me Sasuke; I'm not in the mood." With that said I finish eating.

* * *

Sasuke pov-

I just don't get it. If I didn't know him the way I do I'd say that this wasn't him. But there's just something's you just can't fake and this is him, broken. Why is he letting the past hurt him so much? Why does this village have to hate him? Don't they understand that there trying to destroy something, beautiful? That when he's happy everyone is happy when he's not how are we suppose to act. I can't even be my usual self and I don't want to be I just want to hold him, tell him everything will be alright and have him believe me.

I know that won't happen at least not during the waking hours. When he's asleep he seems to believe me. Why can't it be that easy when we're awake?

At least I got him to eat but I'm not sure he's registering that he's even eating like he's on auto pilot forcing the food to his stomach.

We walk in silence all the way back to my house. It's amazing how much he has changed in the past 5 years since we became team-mates. He's still shorter than me but he's slimmed out a lot. Though looking at him you would never believe he is as strong as he is. With having such a feminine body he's even grown out his hair. I smirk thinking all this over. It looks good longer. More under control now than it once was. But still that sunshine color it always was. I only wish his eye's still looked as bright.

I sigh I hate to think of what caused it to fade without us noticing. What kind of friends are we that we didn't notice? So lost in thought I didn't notice we were home until Naruto pulled my sleeve speaking in his now quiet voice.

"Hn?"

* * *

Naruto pov-

"Sasuke, where you going? We're home!" I ask lightly pulling on his sleeve seeing him lost in thought as he starts to pass his house.

"Hn?" he looks up meeting my eyes looking confused.

"Come on we're home!" I state giving him a smile.

"Right, sorry." He said shaking his head as he goes to unlock the door to let us in.

"What were you thinking about?" I ask once were inside and walking into the living room.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing." He says furrowing his brows. There's a face I don't see him make often. "I'm sorry, I know you didn't want to eat and I forced you its just, your so thin lately I'm,… I'm a little… worried about you."

"There's nothing to worry about, just don't expect me to eat breakfast I'm stuffed."

"That's all you seem to be eating."

"You know you're right, well breakfast is the most important meal of the day or so Iruka sensei always told me." I say with a smile.

"Does he know?" He asks looking me in the eye.

"Know what?" I ask not sure what he's talking about.

"You two seem to be close, so I was just wondering."

"Sasuke I already told you. You're the only one I told until Kakashi sensei and Sakura-chan that is. Iruka sensei knows nothing it would have worried him too much for him to know. He's such a worry wart that he really didn't need the added stress of my life going to hell." I say sadly. "Well I'm kinda tired, its funny I never looked forward to sleeping before. But since we left on our mission, I feel better. My dreams do a 180 and it's hard to explain." I say knowing I'm rambling but for once he doesn't seem to mind.

I yawn quietly as my eye's start to droop slowly I start to move towards the stairs. I feel him walking behind me as I walk up the steps some how it comforts me to have him so close to me all the time.

As I walk past his room I feel him stop. Turning around I look up at him his ebony eye's watching me. Letting another yawn pass my lips I ask…

* * *

Sasuke pov-

He's so cute and innocent when he yawns like that. Silently I continue to stare at him waiting for whatever it is that made him stop by my door.

"Sasuke?"

"Hn?"

"Can I sleep with you? I don't want to sleep alone, I don't think I can." He seems so sad, how can I tell him I never want him to sleep alone again.

Opening my door I see the slight pout cross his face as he waits for my answer.

"Come on!" I say walking in my room as I shed my shirt and pants so that I'm clad in only my boxers.

I hear him walk in and close the door behind him. His quiet footsteps gliding behind me and the slight sound of clothes dropping to floor.

I climb in bed and close my eye's sighing as my head hits the pillow. I hear him settle in next to me.

We lay there in silence until I hear a light snore coming from him. Slowly I let myself drift off to sleep listening to the slow rhythmic breaths that come with sleep.

End chapter- 4

**(tbc)**

Thank you to my reviewers. I love to read your comments on how you think this story is going and wishes as it may be. Please do continue to review and forgive me for any typos you may find I am trying to fix that. Thank you again and happy reading

As always

Lost in thought


	5. Chapter 5

Warnings and disclaimer in past chapters…

**WHY**

**Chapter 5**

New beginnings part 2-

Sasuke pov-

I awoke feeling comfortably warm, with a tan arm draped over my stomach and a blonde head resting on my chest. I can't help but Smile. Reaching up I gently brush away the hair that had fallen over his face while he slept.

I hear him sigh as I lightly graze my fingers over his cheek. Dropping my hand I watch as his eye's start to flutter open. Those eye's you can still see there bright liveliness shining when he first wakes up. You could almost drown in them there so beautiful.

"Morning." I say quietly waiting for him to register he's waking.

"Mm, morning." He moans not yet fully awake. "Sorry, I don't know how I ended up over here." He says just as quiet as he starts to move away. I don't want him to move, not yet.

"Its okay, I don't mind." I say wanting to bite my lip when I feel him lie back down against me. His head, resting on my chest, I start to play with his hair. I love how it feels against my skin so soft. I hear him sigh not making a move to stop my hand running through his hair. "What would you like to do today?" I ask softly not wanting to break the quiet surrounding us.

"Hmm, don't know since I'm currently with out a job right now, I don't know what I'm supposed, to do. What do people do when they don't work?" He mumbles out the last part. I can tell he's frustrated at being forced to not work.

"Well I'm in no hurry to move so whatever."

"Sasuke?"

"Hmm?"

"Why is it that you don't mind us laying like this?" he asks out timidly.

"Cuz we've been sleeping together for the past week and I guess I've gotten used to it. Do you have a problem with how were sleeping and lying here?" I ask curious to his thoughts on this.

"Oh. No I don't have any problems with it!" he says quickly. "I'm just not used to people being like this with me is all." He says softly.

"It's your birthday in two weeks, what do you want to do for it?" I say knowing talking about how he was treated in the past was not a way to start the day.

"Hmm. My birthday?" he looks like this is a new concept.

"Yes baka, you know that thing you celebrate once a year."

"But I don't celebrate it!" He says looking me in the eye before turning away. "And I wouldn't know what to do anyways."

"Well this year we're celebrating it. So either you come up with something you want to do or I can plan something for you."

"Hm, I don't see a point, really. There will already be so much celebrating that it doesn't really matter to me. Plan something if you like I guess it's not that important really though." He says worrying his lip his brows creased in thought.

He sounded so sad. We haven't, not once celebrated his birthday, not for a lack of trying cuz we did. He always seems to disappear on the day. Well, this year I'm gonna show him that he's loved and has friends. I'll talk to Sakura later she's good at these things.

* * *

Naruto pov-

"Iruka sensei? What are you doing here?"

"What, can I not come and check on my favorite person?"

"We both know I'm not your favorite!" I smile at his sudden frown. "Does Kakashi sensei know that I know about you two or are you still telling him I know nothing?" I snicker at his instant blush.

"Not, exactly. I find it entertaining to watch him try to cover it up in front of you three." He said trying to hide his smile though that's hard to do.

"Why Iruka sensei, I didn't think it was possible for you to keep that from him." I say in mocked shock. "I expect that sort of thing from him but not you. He must be rubbing off on you!"

Ignoring the comment Iruka just smiles "What do you say we go out get some lunch check out the book store I figure you're lacking in anything new."

"But Iruka sensei, since I'm not working I don't have much money to just blow on books and such. I need to watch what I spend."

"Don't worry about that. You know I put aside money to spend on whatever I want and it will mean I'm not supporting your sensei's perverted books he likes so much."

"Iruka sensei I saw you reading one before so who are you calling the pervert?"

"I read it to keep him happy. He wanted me to read one so I did and I left it at that, just one and I will be scared for life. Now come on, get your shoes we're spending money!" I complied and put my shoes on after leaving a note for Sasuke that I'd be out shopping with Iruka. We headed into town grabbing a quick bite to eat before going to the book store.

* * *

Sasuke pov-

Later that day-

"Sasuke?" Sakura says opening her door.

"Sakura, could we talk?" I ask kicking my self all the while.

"Sure, come in." She says moving aside so I could walk in. "What's up? Where's Naruto?"

"He's out with Iruka sensei I believe. I was wondering if you would help me with something."

"Help you with what Sasuke-kun?"

"It's Naruto's birthday in two weeks. I was hoping you could help me with planning a party for him. I know how you love to throw parties and all…"

"How are we going to do that? He always hides on his birthday. But if a party you want a party you shall get. It's the least I could do for Naruto." She said with a smile.

"Thank you Sakura. I want it to be a surprise for him so if you could keep it quiet."

"No problem. This should be fun to pull off!"

"Well I should be going I'll talk to you later though."

"Alright, bye Sasuke-kun."

* * *

Norm pov

Naruto had spent the afternoon with Iruka but the closer it got to dinner the more he wanted to go home and rest it took so much energy to pretend to be 'happy' around him.

So once he got back to Sasuke's with a full stomach and several books gained, he headed up to his room. Setting the books down on the dresser he flopped down on the bed only planning to rest for a little while until Sasuke got home.

_(DREAM)_

Opening my eye's I knew I wasn't awake but it didn't make sense where I was. "Where am I?" this feels different not a dream but not awake either.

"_This is a dream kit! It's the easiest way for me to talk to you." A feminine voice sounded before him._

"Kyuubi?" I ask confused.

"_The one and only!" she said a bit prideful _

"How come I hear you now? You don't normally come into my dreams. And you sound different."

"_We needed to talk! And I don't sound different you just never paid attention to my voice before now."_

"What do we need to talk about?"

"_You! You're hurting yourself for no reason." She said anger and sadness seeping into her voice._

"You say that like it's a new thing." I say with a roll of my eyes.

"_Don't roll your eyes at me kit. There are something's that I need to explain to you kit."_

"Why are you being so nice to me? And what do you need to explain?" I ask not liking what Kyuubi is saying.

"_Because I don't want to see you hurt again kit. That's why I'm going to help you but it will take some time."_

"How can you help me? Why would you help me?" I ask unbelievingly that Kyuubi could help me or would help me with out wanting something in return.

"_Just listen kit_." _She_ _says with a frustrated sigh._

"I am!" I pout crossing my arms across my chest.

"_Kit, I've seen all that has happened to you, I know it's my fault, you don't understand why I have to be in you. You don't know me or trust me and I'm sure you wish I were just a dream."_

"That's for sure."

"_I want to tell you that things are going to get far stranger for you before they get better."_

"Why?"

"_We're merging kit. Which means, that neither of us will ever be normal again."_

"How will I change? I've never been considered normal!"

"_You're already changing. Just look at your eating habits kit. Look at yourself and tell me what you see."_

"Why am I so small, will I always be this small?" I ask curious.

"_It's because I'm a female that you're so small. But that has its ups. You're able to move around with more ease and conceal yourself better."_

"Wait, I thought you were male!"

"_Sorry kit they all think that."_

"So what does this mean for me than? What's going to happen?" now I'm worried. But she shakes her head and continues on.

"_Kit you're going to need to open up more, stop hiding. You'll need help for what's coming up. Your pain is my pain and I can only block so much before it over takes you. I've been blocking it all this time even now."_

"But I don't know how not to hide. I always have. Does that mean to be angry all the time or to smile like I always have I'm so confused? I don't know how to just be. I've always worked so hard at looking happy I don't know how to be anything else."

"_Don't think about it kit just go with how you feel. Now I think its time for you to wake up but remember what I said don't be afraid to open up someone is there to listen if you just open your eyes." _

(End dream)

With that his eye's fluttered open and he looked around the room slowly seeing the bed empty next to him. "Hmm I guess he's not home yet!"

After his little talk with Kyuubi Naruto was trying to follow what she said and he realized that the only one he felt comfortable doing so in front of was Sasuke. For some reason it seemed okay to let his mask fall completely when alone with him. Like he'd understand!

They didn't talk much but Sasuke just wasn't one to start a conversation. Being the brooding type kinda left you silent most of the time. But when they did talk it felt natural. Neither pushing the other for more, and giving support when it was needed. It was nice.

A week went by and slowly Naruto was coming around he started eating two meals a day under close watch of Sasuke and Iruka who seemed even more over protective than normal of him. Though he was oblivious to it all as he just went about his daily life.

When people would stop by to see him he would plaster his fake smile for them and talk as if it was a normal thing for him to be at Uchiha Sasuke's house talking with people. When Sasuke himself just grunted at them. Never mind that, until Naruto moved in, Sasuke didn't have people over.

Upon the seventh day of being there, Sasuke woke the blonde up much to there dislike

* * *

Naruto pov-

"Oi, dobe wake up."

"Hn." I mumble rolling over and burying my head in a pillow. I think I'm spending to much time with Sasuke I'm starting to sound like him.

"Wake up. We have to go see Hokage sama today. If we're not on time she's gonna kill us both." He growled annoyed that it was his third trip to wake the blonde up.

"Okay, okay I'm getting up." I climb out of bed and pull on my clothes.

Sasuke is waiting down stairs for me.

* * *

Sasuke pov-

We made it to the Hokage tower quickly and are ushered in to her office just as fast. Walking in we see her sitting at her desk her hands steepled head resting atop them. Looking up she quickly orders us in.

"Naruto, Sasuke please sit." She says with a worried smile. "How are you Naruto?"

"Oh, I'm good." He says plastering his fake smile that never reaches his eyes.

"Don't lie, Naruto! We all know when you're lying." She announces with an angry frown.

"Wha, what did you expect me to say? What would you like to hear? That I'm a wreak, and it hurts to plaster this smile every damn day I'm alive." He says not really angry but sad.

"Naruto, I only ask for the truth." She says furrowing her brows.

"Hokage sama please. Don't, ask questions you don't really want the answers to." He says his face completely devoid of expression.

"This is not Naruto. What have you done with him?" She says getting frustrated.

"Your right, this isn't the Naruto you knew." He said with a sad sigh. "I'm sorry to tell you, this is the real one. The other was a fake something to make everyone think everything was fine. I know you must know more than what I had told you. That's the only reason that you have me staying with Sasuke. Am I right? He told you after you dismissed me I know that's what it must have been. I only told him and the others cuz it was destroying the teams concentration. Once they knew we were able to move on."

"Tell me Naruto, do you really think they moved on without thinking it over and over what you went through or what they think you went through? I want to know what all happened you didn't tell Sasuke everything. Who they were? You may not have felt it necessary to tell anyone before but it was, and is important! No one has the right to harm a child the way that you were."

"But to them, I wasn't a child. I was a **_monster_** that needed to learn its place. If you want to hear about the pain, I'll tell you but you must know that hearing it will not make it better. I don't see how knowing will make a difference now when there's nothing you could possibly do about it, its over with."

* * *

Norm. Pov-

"Naruto, I would like to know who these men were. I want to make sure that they're taken care of." The venom lingering just beneath her words.

"They're dead Tsunade baachan don't worry. I don't care about it anymore. What's done is done. There's nothing we can do to change that. The present is what we need to focus on. Look at me and tell me what you see as different that you didn't notice before."

"What do you mean?" She asked looking at him oddly after his sudden change of attitude.

"There's something going on with me that I don't understand. Look at my body. I know I've always been a little smaller than most the guys but now I'm becoming well I'm different and I don't understand. I asked Kyuubi and she said that I would understand in time but I'm just more confused." He said with a look of confusion.

"What do you mean different?" Sasuke asked looking at him.

"I know you've noticed it too. Sasuke look at me!" he said pleadingly.

"You're smaller, thinner that is, but you haven't been eating so that could be that reason. What did the pest say?"

"Don't call her a pest she doesn't like it!" He growled.

"Okay, you don't have to growl at me dobe."

"Teme. Anyways she hasn't told me everything all I know is that I'm changing, I don't know how and I don't know if it will be a good thing. I know she doesn't want anything to happen to me so she'll keep me as safe as she can. She made it sound like I don't need to worry about it. But if I don't need to worry I don't see why she even told me."

"So you trust her than?" Tsunade asked.

"She's like my conscious or something like the mother I never had that's able to constantly annoy me in my head now that I'm conscious of her."

'There looking at me kinda funny' he says to Kyuubi frowning at the other occupants of the room.

_Kit let me talk with them, I think there's some things they need to know and I'll be able to explain it better to them_

'Alright if you think it will help.'

"_Well like my kit was saying. We are merging"_a feminine voice said.

"Kyuubi?" Tsunade said eyeing the boy.

"_Yes. Now unlike the kit I don't like to waste time. I'll get to the point like we have both said we are merging and I will say that on the outside he will still look the same but for a few things that you'll see in time. I'm afraid that others will dislike him more once they find out what has become of him. I only want his safety and it's not because I'm in him but because I see him as my kit since I wasn't able to conceive a kit of my own before I was sealed within him. _

'What are you talking about can I come out yet?'

"_Shh kit just a few more minute okay don't worry everything is fine just rest for a few okay."_

'Okay'

"What's the dobe's problem?" Sasuke asked looking at him.

"_You shouldn't call him that Uchiha he's actually very smart he just thought that hiding his true self would hurt less than showing all his strength."_

"Oh really I don't see how that was smart." Sasuke said unimpressed with her explanation.

"_No, I wouldn't think you would considering that the strength you have know is what he truly was when you we're all 12 so I wouldn't be sitting there all smug if I were you. Now to get to why I came out. This change will be complete sometime during the next month or so I can't be exacted. He will no longer be considered human since he will be half demon that will bring on its own issues for him I'm certain but I can't change that fact or stop it. On the other issue. He's never let himself get over the whole mess from when he was but a child being tortured by those monsters. Believe me you don't want to know what truly happened during all those many nights. And how often I had to force my chakra into his system to keep him alive that was painful for the both of us."_

"Why?" Tsunade asked

"_Because what they did to him I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. The pain the all out Torture he went through 'what we went through' is beyond horrible."_

"Wait you felt it too?" Sasuke asked.

"_Every single minute of it I was feeling it. There was nothing I could do. He didn't know I was there. He couldn't ask me to help him and I was unable to help with the seal so strong at the time. It hurt so much that all I could do was try to heal the outside injuries. Which there were a lot of."_

"Who were they?" Tsunade asked her voice ridged with anger over the whole incident.

"_He told you, nobles. Only nobles would do something so horrible to a child. My poor kit, he locked himself up in a cage so tight that it has taken six years for it to open and make him hurt again. Its because of the merging and his subconscious that have brought it all back." _

"Can you tell us how he will change and if he will get better?" she asked worried the answer wouldn't be what she hoped.

"_Sorry I can't. Once it's done you'll see but until then. Just be careful with him, I'm trying to get him to open up so that the hurt will go it's the only thing that will help him as I see it."_

"Thank you!" she said as Kyuubi nodded to them.

"_Kit you can come out now." Kyuubi said in a soft voice. _

"So what did I miss she wouldn't let me listen and then I fell asleep."

"Dobe."

"Teme. Stop calling me that! You know I hate it."

"I'm sorry. I'll just have to come up with something else to call you." Naruto smiled at this, the kind where you roll your eyes in happiness.

"Are we done here I'm kinda hungry?" Naruto asked looking hopeful now that his appetite has returned to him.

"Fine Naruto. I would like you back here next week I want to see how your doing and to see if Kyuubi's suggestion is helping you recover."

"Alright! Sasuke can we get lunch now I think my appetite is starting to return." He says as the corners of his mouth slightly turn up.

"Sure. So we'll see you on his birthday than!" he said looking up at the Hokage when he received a nod from her he turned back to Naruto. "You want ramen ne?"

"If you're buying I'll eat it." He says walking towards the door.

* * *

Naruto pov-

(Time lapse)

Everyone has been a little odd lately. Granted I would think they would but, it's been 3 days since we saw the Hokage and they've insisted that I venture out into town like doing that is really going to help. I did it the other day with Iruka sensei I don't see what the big deal is.

I didn't really want to; I'd rather just sit at home or go train even though I'm not allowed to do any missions until kami sama knows. But it's okay. I understand why they would feel hesitant in letting me do missions.

I let out a sigh not realizing it until its past.

"What's wrong?" I hear from behind me. 'Crap I forgot he was there.'

"Nothing Sasuke, just thinking." I respond not looking at him.

"You know you shouldn't do too much of that, you might strain yourself." He says with a smirk his joke does not amuse me though.

"Baka, must you always insult my intelligence?" I say turning to look at him. "Oh what am I saying; of course you do with a baka like me being here you must find me amusing!" I state rolling my eye's before I turn around and look at the new book I got the other day with Iruka sensei open in my lap.

"What are you reading?" He asked looking over my shoulder. Looking up I close the book and show him the cover. "Poetry I never knew you liked poetry!"

"I wouldn't think you would! Now will you leave me in peace with my angst?" I say with a smile.

"Angst, do you really think you should be reading that?" he asks raising an eyebrow at me.

"No, remember I shouldn't think, I might strain myself baka!" I state playfully as I lightly push him away from me.

"Well what else, do I not know about you?" he asks shaking his head bemused.

"How about some lunch? I'll make us something okay!" I say looking up with a sad smile completely ignoring his question.

"Since when do you cook? And why are you ignoring my questions?"

"Since I was 7 I just never had much food to cook really. And ramen is cheap so to speak. And I'm not ignoring your question; it was just vague in what you wanted to know. Well I'll go make us something to eat then" I say smiling at him as I get up from the couch.

"Alright cook away than. Just don't burn the place down."

* * *

Sasuke pov-

He turned one last time before disappearing into the kitchen looking over his shoulder at me he flashed the most heart wrenching smile I've ever seen, my heart felt like it stopped as I watched him then came thudding back again.

I can't help but let my eye's wonder on there own, over his body. It's so amazing how much it's changed from when we first met.

He went from being a loud mouth chubby 12 year old to a 17 year old who was on the thin side and still rather short. And now only days till his 18th birthday he's five foot six with the most amazing body I've ever seen male or female. All lithe and toned in all the right places, his hair just barely shoulder length still that sunshine blonde, but I don't know if he's noticed yet, but he's got red streaks starting but his eye's still that amazing cerulean that envelops all who see them. Just looking into them it's like your falling with no escape. But when he smiles truly smiles you know everything is going to be fine. I know I've only seen it a few times but I've fallen every time.

"Sasuke which would you rather have? I could make some ramen or if you want Onigiri. I know how you love them?" He said popping his head out of the kitchen, a smile crossing his face.

"Huh? oh which ever you want. You know, you don't have to cook for me. I mean you're my guest here and all."

"How else am I going to pay for my stay? I may try to get free ramen as much as possible but that's where I draw the line. I pay for whatever I have however I can. And if that means I can cook something for us to eat than I'll do it. So just sit back, read one of your books and lunch will be ready in no time."

"Alright whatever makes you happy." I said falling back against the couch.

He was right, in no time at all; I could smell miso coming from the kitchen. Getting up from the couch I walked over to the kitchen. Not only did it smell good but the kitchen was clean. Two things I wasn't expecting with the blonde being in there.

"Oh I was just about to call you." He said placing a bowl on the table for me. Sitting down I looked at the bowl then back up at him. "What? It's not going to eat you ya know. It's more afraid of you than you are of it, now eat!" He said amusement playing in his eyes.

Slowly I bring some to my mouth slurping some. Raising an eyebrow it's amazingly good. Actually some of the best I've ever had. I look up at him and he's smiling as he walks back to get himself a bowl. Sitting down he begins to slurp some of his own before I say anything to him.

"It's good!" I state. He looks up and smiles one of his genuine smiles that could melt you where you stand.

"I'm glad you like it, though honestly I think it's hard to mess up miso. Oh, I didn't get you anything to drink. What was I thinking?" he says shaking his head as he goes to get up.

"Don't worry about it. I'll get us something to drink just sit. I know your one for high energy but your not even sitting still long enough to eat your ramen."

"Oh gomen it's been awhile since I made anything for anyone besides myself, you know me I always forget something."

"No, I don't think you forget anything, you just like to run around looking like you do."

"Grr.. fine so you know my secret! Blah." He said sticking out his tongue.

"If I were you, I wouldn't go sticking that out it just might get bit off!" I say with a smirk as I watch him blush and quickly pull his tongue back in.

"Humph, and what are you going to do about it? Just eat your ramen and be happy." He said with a pout.

"Oh stop pouting! Here." I said handing him a soda. Smiling he took it from me and went back to eating his lunch.

"Eh, Sasuke?" he says after a while.

"Hn?" I ask looking up to see him fidget slightly in his seat.

"You remember when you asked me what I wanted for my birthday; I didn't know what I wanted?" he asks playing with his food a bit.

"Yes."

"I know what I want."

"And that is?"

"I want to not be here when the festival is going on. I want to go away for the day."

"Alright then we can go up to the cabins by the hot springs most everyone will be at the festival so it should be pretty quiet. Does that sound alright?"

"Very." He said in a small excited voice. "Thank you Sasuke."

"Hn.. Eat your ramen before its cold." I say trying to feign disinterest.

Naruto happily ate his lunch; he suddenly couldn't wait for his birthday to come.

End chapter

(tbc)

Thanks for reading and please continue to review it helps me know that you like it. It encourages me to write more.

As always

Lost in thought


	6. Chapter 6

WHY

Chapter 6: Birthdays- part 1

Naruto pov/thoughts-

I thought a lot this week. With everyone coming over to see me and encourage me to be a little more open. I wasn't really only to Sasuke and Iruka sensei really, but that's okay I know they care, the few that they are, they do. They show me in there own ways.

Iruka sensei's, ever constant mothering me, when ever he's around. Its sweet and I don't know what I'd do with out him being there for me. He's like the parent I never had but always knew would be there even if I didn't believe it at times.

Kakashi sensei came over as well with Iruka. I swear, if we're not on missions there inseparable. Its cute the way Iruka can control Kakashi and yet be putty to the man. I know very few who could say they were truly that happy. I'm happy for them of all the people I know they belong together. They can take care of each other and be completely comfortable together. Now I'm not saying they don't fight they're just comfortable enough with each other that they don't fight much and there problems get sorted quickly.

Sakura chan as always is being the big sister to both Sasuke and I. taking it upon herself, to make sure everything is getting done. Even if she's working 24/7 with Tsunade baachan she still makes time to come see us at least for a few minutes a day. Her and Sasuke seemed to have grown closer this past week as well. They're always seen talking about something I don't pay them much mind most of the time. Its just nice knowing their there to talk with me if I so chose.

Sasuke and I have had most of our time taken up by the unexpected guests we got used to expecting to come round that we formed some weird schedule. Every morning I wake up to laying on his chest or shoulder sometimes just laying there with his arms wrapped around my waist keeping me close to him. It's those times that I treasure because I know they won't last. I cuddle closer to him and wait for him to wake, sometimes I can feel him watching me and I'll lay there pretending to sleep a little longer just keep that feeling of rightness inside me.

Soon after though I have to get up, I'll make us breakfast and he gets ready for the day. We eat in almost complete silence he reads the paper which holds very little information other than if there's a festival coming up in one of the neighboring towns or if a war is going on between countries it comes every other day for some reason he likes to read it, I always have a book open and waiting to be read. Once done with breakfast I head upstairs get ready for the day while he cleans up the dishes.

It's an odd thing for us to fall into the roles like an old married couple or something. But I'm fine with it I like to cook for him for some reason it makes me happy to do that for him. I guess it's to make up for all he's been doing for me for the past month.

Tomorrow's my birthday I'll be 18 _finally_ I'll be the same age as most the people I know. It sucks being the youngest and shortest in the group always they come up with something to say about my age or size. Mostly I try to ignore it cuz they don't know how much it upsets me. I guess that is my fault, I never told them.

Sighing I put the leftover's in the fridge and finish cleaning. I won't have time to do this in the morning. I'm a little worried though I haven't been feeling myself lately, not big changes or anything just small things not that painful really, easy to ignore but I still feel it. Something's been changing in me I just don't know what.

"Naruto?" I hear Sasuke call from somewhere in the house, while I'm lounging on the couch.

"What?" I yell back I so don't want to get up that would mean having to move when I'm comfy.

"Come to bed we have an early start tomorrow and we have to see Hokage sama before we can go." He yells.

Closing my book and walking into our bedroom, yes it's now our bedroom since we've been sharing it for almost a month now. Walking in I see him standing by the bed clad in only his boxers, 'mm what I would give to be those boxers'. I think letting my eye's roam over his body watching as his muscles flex as he bends to pull back the sheets.

He looks up when he notice's I've entered the room. Our eye's meet briefly, before he turns his gaze back to the bed, before climbing in. I follow quickly striping down to my boxers as well before climbing into bed next to him. Soon I have my head resting on his shoulder and he's slowly running his hand through my messy hair. Sighing I settle in and begin to relax to his treatment. Soon I'll be lost to the black oblivion that is sleep.

* * *

Sasuke pov- morning of Naruto's birthday-

"Naruto." I said quietly as I gently stroked his cheek.

He was sleeping so soundly, his head resting on my chest. Just seeing him like that made something in me flutter a spot I kept so well sealed began to warm and crack. Realizing where my train of thought was going I quickly locked it away and set about waking him.

"Naruto, it's time to wake up!" Slowly his eye's flutter open and I'm greeted by a small smile.

"Hmm, why do we have to get up? It's so comfy." Naruto yawned burrowing into my chest.

"Well I thought you wanted to go to the cabins today? …Can't do that if you're sleeping on me." I smirk ruffling his hair a little, not like it would make it any messier.

"Humph fine." He yawned again batting my hand away from his head. "Go get dressed and I'll make us breakfast."

"It's your birthday; don't you think I should be the one cooking for you?" I ask with a quirk of my brow.

"No, go I'll have breakfast ready by the time your done." He says smiling before he bounces out the bedroom door his lounge pants hanging dangerously low on his slim hips.

"Alright, fine. But that's the last meal you'll cook today." I yell at him as I climb out of bed.

"Alright just go already!" He yells just out side the bedroom door.

I quickly shower trying hard to ignore how those pants looked hanging off him or how much I would like seeing them on the floor more than covering his body.

I'm down at the table the minute he places the food in front of me. I look up at him and he smiles one of his genuine smiles and I can't help it, I melt. I don't know how he does it every time; he makes my brooding bastard persona just melt away.

"I told you it would be done by the time you were ready." He smirks.

I look down at the food and my mouth practically waters. It looks delicious I don't know how he does it and so quickly. There in front of me is a stack of pancakes with bacon eggs and coffee all sitting there waiting to be devoured. I dig in greedily showing how much I enjoy his cooking in the slight moan I let slip. After I finished eating I wait for him to get ready since he took his time to eat everything. Which for a change seemed to be quiet a lot for him.

* * *

Naruto pov-

We finished with breakfast and I quickly ran up stairs to get dressed. I'm so excited I know I shouldn't get my hopes up and it's not that special really, but I can't help it. This will be the first time I ever got something for my birthday that I could enjoy. No beatings, no nasty vulgar comments from the villagers. I know its just getting out of the village but it's more than I thought I could get. Just some quiet which I know Sasuke will also enjoy. Maybe I should have packed a book or two.

Unfortunately we have to stop and visit baachan yet again to 'see if I've progressed' yeah right, what ever I'm just so happy to be getting away from every thing.

Sitting there took more restraint than I thought either of us expected to have. 'Sigh', I told her that my dreams have stopped. But, only if I'm sleeping next to Sasuke. Hmm that's kinda funny but oh well I'm okay with that. I love waking up in his arms. It's the happiest I think I've ever been.

"How do you feel about sleeping with Sasuke?" She asked looking me in the eye curious.

"Well, I don't know. Its fine I guess, I feel completely relaxed and safe. I could trust him with anything. I know that it seems odd I guess but I don't mind sharing a bed with him it almost makes me feel wanted." I said trying to understand what I meant. It all just became jumbled in my head and so I looked up searchingly towards her hoping she understood what I didn't.

"And how do you feel about all this Sasuke?" she asked with an almost knowing smile that Sakura chan gets when she knows something that the rest of us should.

"I'm glad that his nightmares have subsided even if that means he's to remain in my bed." He said casting a slight glare her way. "I'm fine with that as long as he's happy and comfortable laying next to me, then its fine."

Trying to ignore the slight glare thrown at baachan I sigh with a sad little smile I'm quiet fond of I look over at him. "I'm practically smothering you when we wake in the morning Sasuke. But I must say that it's quiet comfortable." I say with a small smile as I look over at him.

Tsunade Sama watched us interact for a few minutes before talking to us separately then let us go. With a small smile forming on her lips, I know there's something behind that smile I just don't know what it is.

I sighed in relief, finally twenty minutes later Sasuke and I are walking out of the tower, each with a small pack since he said we could stay there for a few days if I wanted. Which I do, why wouldn't I?

The closer we get to the cabins though the more nervous he seems to be getting. I tried to start a few conversations with him but his only answer as usual was 'hn'. Like that's a word. The almighty 'hn' word I'm sure if you asked him. Finally I stop the cabin is only a few minutes away but I can't take it any more.

"Damn it Sasuke!" I say my voice pitching at my annoyance.

"What?" he says with a frustrated confused sigh as he looks at me.

"I've been trying to talk to you the whole way here. What is your problem? If you didn't want to do this with me you could have just said no." I say unfortunately pain laced in my voice at the thought of him not wanting to do this and I can tell he heard it as he looked at me with more than just concern in those onyx eye's of his.

"I'm sorry. I just, I don't know. Look I do want to do this. It's your birthday and you deserve to get away on this day. Let's just get to the cabin alright? I have something there for you already." He says dropping his Uchiha persona in his nervousness.

"You got me a present? I told you I didn't need a present just needed to get away." I said looking up at him my eyes wide at the idea of a present waiting for me.

"I know, but I got you something any way, so let's just get there so you can see it okay."

"Okay. Yay you're the best Sasuke." I say wrapping my arms around him in a quick hug before I bound off towards the cabins.

* * *

Sasuke pov-

Finally we get to the cabins, the lights are off inside as they should be. I push him through the door and before he can turn on the lights I reach over and do it. Smirking, when all his friends jump up yelling surprise.

Startled he jumps back into me before laughing it off and walking over to them.

I continue to smirk at this. He didn't expect this at all. The baka, he doesn't know how many truly do care for him.

Well the party went off with out a hitch. Everyone seems to be having fun and Naruto is bouncing off the walls going from one group to another. I did how ever see him stay as far away from the punch as he could I know someone must have spiked it by now.

* * *

Naruto pov-

"So when did you put this together? Who put this together?" I ask excited looking between Sakura chan and Ino.

"Oh, well that's easy Naruto. Sasuke and a few of us were working on this for over a week. I hope you like it. I've never seen him work so hard at keeping something from you before, when it was for you that he was doing it." Sakura says smiling in that annoying, knowing way she's so good at.

"Sasuke… did this?" I say shocked though I should have known. At least now I know why he was nervous he didn't know how I would react to this.

"Yeah, he came to me and asked me to help him. You know how he is with parties. So he came to the expert. He's been so nervous that you'd find out before hand. You never saw it coming did you?" she continued on.

"I can't believe he did this." I say with a small dazed smile, that warmth I feel when I wake up with him flowing through me again.

"Did what dobe?" Sasuke said from behind me.

"You! Why did you do this? I told you I only needed to get away. You didn't have to do all this for me ya know." I say smiling at him, I can't help it, he did this for me.

"I know but I thought you'd like it."

"But I don't deserve all i _this /i _." 'Crap what the fuck Kyubbi? What's going on that hurts?'

"Naruto are you okay?"

"Huh.." I let out breathing a bit hard I can't believe I'm still standing. "I'm fine, I think I just need to lie down for a bit I'm fine i _rea-ly_ /i ." I say walking away from him a little lightheaded.

I finally made it to the bedroom but not the bed before I fall. I'm panting hard trying to breath but the pain just gets worse. It feels like I've got a 500 lbs weight sitting on my chest and someone keeps punching me in the stomach it hurts and my vision is all but blurred.

'Kyubbi what's going on?' I'm breathing so hard I can hardly hear my own thoughts.

_i "We're getting closer to the final stages of merging kit. Trust me this hurts me as much as you but there's still more to come, hold on okay." /i _

'God why does it have to hurt this much' still panting on the floor a few feet away from the bed.

"Oh my god, Naruto!" Someone yells. I hear them but I can't respond I can hardly breathe.

I can hardly hear them all I can concentrate on is the pain how I feel like I'm being burnt from the inside out.

* * *

Sasuke pov-

'What's wrong now?' I watch him walk away he's kinda staggering his way to the bedroom. 'Crap maybe he did drink something; I better go check on him.'

I walk into the room and I don't find him on the bed, no he's lying on the floor in a ball moaning like he's in great pain.

"Oh my god, Naruto!" I yell running to him. I go to pick him up, he's so hot how could he be running a fever?

Someone must have heard me yell 'cause in seconds Sakura was standing in the bedroom door looking at us, confusion plastered on her face.

"Get Hokage sama now! Tell her he's sick, very sick!" I yell rocking us back and forth before I muster enough brain power to pick him up and carrying him bridal style to the bed where I gently lay him down.

"Mm, suke… it, hurts." He moans curling into a ball.

What felt like hours I'm sure was only a few minutes, Hokage sama came bursting into the room worry etched across her face. I look up at her trying to keep my cold distant mask on but it doesn't work not while he's like this.

"What happened?" she asks.

"I don't know, he just, I don't know I found him in a ball on the floor moaning in pain can you do something?"

"Su…ke mm hurts." He panted out a pained expression covered his face.

"I know dobe I know." I said not able to mask my distress over his pain.

"Naruto what happened? What's going on?" Tsunade asked.

"Mer…ging." He panted out his eyes tightly closed his hair sticking to his sweat drenched face.

Tsunade brought over a cold cloth, handing it to me. As I wiped his face and brow of the growing perspiration I gently moved the hair that had fallen into his face, away.

"How long is this going to last?" I asked running the cloth over him again.

"I don't know. We'll just have to wait and see." She told me trying to stay calm but you can hear it in her voice she's really worried about him.

15 minutes later Naruto uncurled himself taking deep breaths looking over he looked at me. I couldn't help but let out a relived sigh when I saw his eye's begin to open.

"Naruto?" I said barely above a whisper.

"Hai." He responded his breathing begin to normal out somewhat.

"Are, are you okay? Is it over?" I ask unable to conceal my concern.

"No, it's not over. There's two more coming. And I'm afraid I don't know how much time I have before the next part hits. I don't know what to expect."

"2 more!" Tsunade said on his other side. "Will they be just as bad?"

"Probably worse, I need to rest before the next one hits." He said his eye's already starting to droop.

"You're right just rest and we'll be right here for you." Tsunade said carding her hand through his hair before she headed for the door.

"Do you need anything?" I ask wiping his brow again.

"Just stay with me." he replied to me. I climbed into bed with him drawing the covers lightly over us.

The two laid there in bed Sasuke's arms wrapped protectively and naturally around the blonde as they quickly fell into a light sleep.

The Hokage just looked at them for a few minutes before leaving them to rest it was going to be a very long day and hopefully everyone would make it through.

* * *

Normal pov-

Walking out to the living room she noticed those who were still there and waited for answers.

"Is he okay Hokage sama?" Sakura asked worry present on her face.

"I'm sorry, I can't answer that as of yet. They are resting now and I can tell you this is going to be a long day. Hopefully tomorrow I can answer your questions." She looked out over everyone sighing before she spoke again. "Everyone should go home. Iruka, Kakashi please stay, you maybe needed."

"Hai." Came the joined reply.

* * *

4hrs later-

"EeeeYahhh…." The scream that brought everyone to attention in the few seconds it took them to get to the room; they found Sasuke in the center of the bed holding a shaking blonde chanting.

"It will be okay, it will be okay, it'll pass." Sasuke said in an unnaturally calm voice the worry visible on his strained face.

"Sasuke lay him down on the bed!" The Hokage ordered gently. "We don't know what will happen."

"I… can't! Even if I wanted to I can't!" He said his voice never leaving the calm chanting tone.

"What do you mean you can't?" She said worry her voice sounding alarmed.

"His chakra is holding us together!" he said as he continued to rock the blonde.

"What!" she screamed.

"Its okay, when this part of the merging is done we can let go. It's okay."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Iruka moved to sit by them only to be pushed back by an unseen force. Before anyone could react he was sitting on the floor a few feet back holding his hand breathing heavily.

"Iruka!" Kakashi breathed crouching down by his lover looking him over.

"What in the Hell was That!" He said looking at the two teens on the bed.

"I'm sorry, I should have warned you." Sasuke said. "As soon as it started a force field of sorts surrounded us."

"Is he okay?" Iruka asked worry evident in his voice.

"No, he's in a lot of pain and there's still one more left to go after this."

"Oh, god!" Iruka gasped.

"Ru, are you okay?" Kakashi asked again looking at his lover.

"I'll be fine." He said still clutching his hand to his chest.

They watched over the two during the entire 40 minute pain filled merging session. The only clue that there was a break in the merging was when the two fell back breath labored and over half asleep from exhaustion.

The force field surrounding them dropped and Tsunade ran to their side checking them over. Letting out a breath she was happy to say they were asleep. She lightly ran a hand through Naruto's sweat dampened hair noticing the red streaks had spread along with the length.

"Hokage sama… how is he doing?" She heard a worried Iruka ask.

Turning to look at him she stated. "All I can tell is that he is alive at the moment."

"This isn't fair! He shouldn't have to go through this, he's gone through so much already why this?" Iruka said.

"To think this little gaki is the reason our village thrives yet they punish him for saving there worthless hides." She said frowning.

"I just don't understand how he could remain so happy after what those men did to him, on top of a whole village scorning him." Kakashi said frowning.

After that they took turns watching over the pair all hoping this would pass and they could see there smiling baka again. Unfortunately they knew that would never happen again he was changed forever if only they knew how much

Chapter 6 birthdays- part 1 end

(tbc)

I suck at sound effects soo yeah forgive my poor attempt at writing one lol...

Well I hope you all enjoyed this latest installment of my fic… let me know what you think. It helps keep me going and to put more chapters out.

Thanks for reading

As always Lost in thought


	7. Chapter 7

AN thank you, thank you, thank you I didn't think I'd get such a response on that chapter I'm glad so many liked it. It made my day to see so many reviews in such a short time. So thank you to all my reviewers your what keeps me writing AN

**WHY**

Chapter 7- Birthdays- part 2

-The merging continues-

By the time the third part of his merging started Naruto was wrapped in Sasuke's arms being gently rocked back in forth. He paid no attention to the tears that were streaking down his tan face that had an unhealthy glow to it as red and blue chakra swirled around the pair.

"Sasuke are you okay?" Tsunade asked watching the whole thing take place without being able to help.

"Yes, I think we'll be fine. Just I feel a little different." He said closing his eye's briefly.

"How so? Explain!" She ordered her worry frowns deepening as she looked at the two.

"I don't know, its warm I feel warm but like it's not my warmth it's his, it's hard to explain. But it seems right somehow." He said his eye's locked in thought as he looked off at nothing.

Frowning at his answer she could do nothing to stop him being in there with Naruto so all she could hope for was that everything would be fine. "And how is he?" She asked hardly able to see them through the swirl.

"He's in pain, lots of pain. When this is over he's going to need a lot of rest! I think we'll both need rest." He paused as a scream passed the blonds lips. He started back up with his rocking motion his head resting on the fevered one below him.

40 minutes into the merging Naruto's chakra started to turn purple as it merged together with Kyuubi's.

Breathing out Sasuke watched it as did the others. 'Its beautiful…' his thoughts trailed off in awe.

"I've never seen anything like this." Iruka said his eye's wide with wonder.

"I wouldn't think you would, none of us have." Tsunade stated looking briefly at the man before going back to the sight on the bed.

Kakashi glancing at the actual bed sighed. "Were going to have to get a new bed that one looks trashed."

"The bed does not matter Aho, what does is those two on the bed." Tsunade said angry at the jounin's words.

They were silent for a long while after. After another 40 minutes went by they all let out a collective breath as the force field around the two drop and the two did the same. Dropping down on the bed exhausted from all they had gone through.

Noting that the force field was indeed down Tsunade went to the teens checking them over. Sighing in relief when she came back with nothing than what they had expected and anything else would have to wait until they were awake.

The three adults left the room letting the two sleep for now, questions would be asked later.

The next day Sasuke awoke feeling better, he was still tired but that didn't matter to him. All that mattered was that the blond well not so blond anymore was still asleep.

* * *

Sasuke pov-

Slowly moving from the bed I walked out into the living room area of the cabin finding three people sitting there trying to occupy themselves. Not very successfully either I might add. Growling slightly to get there attention which still didn't work I spoke up.

"Hokage sama?" I said annoyed and confused.

"Sasuke, how are you feeling?" She asked looking up at me from the chair she was sitting in.

"I'm… fine, how is he? How long was I asleep? Has he woken yet?" I asked not giving her enough time in between to answer until I came close to running out of breath.

"I'm not sure how he is yet we have to wait till he wakes up." She answers all my questions in one.

"Then he hasn't woken yet." I said eye's cast to the floor a frown growing on my face.

"Its only been a day give him time. His body has gone through extreme changes in a very short period of time."

"I know I was there. He was so… when the two chakra's merged… I've never seen anything so, breath taking." He said a little breathy.

"I must say I was a little taken away at the sight of the purple chakra that surrounded you both. Did it affect you in any way? You said you felt different."

"I don't know. I don't think so." I said trying to think straight and process

"Well I guess we'll just have to wait till he wakes."

* * *

Three days later-

A quiet moan was heard from the bed as the only occupant started to stir. Slowly a pair of eye's opened blinking a few times before they could focus on anything.

"You're awake!" Came a happy statement.

"Wa..water please." A horse voice asked from the bed.

Quickly the request was filled as a glass was brought to his parched lips.

"Better?"

"Ha, hai." Looking up he gave a small smile looking into the ebony eye's that watched him. "How long?"

"It's been 3 days. How do you feel?"

"I've been better." He said closing his eye's for a moment with a slight grown. "I need to figure out how to turn this off." He mumbled out as he opened his eyes.

"Turn what off?" Sasuke questioned with a quirk of his eye brow.

"My, senses! Its hard to concentrate on one thing when I see, hear, smell and feel everything." Naruto said slowly opening his eye's to look at Sasuke.

"How so?"

"Looking at you I see your chakra but not the way Neji and Hinata see it. It's different, beautiful, but over whelming."

"And how do you see it?" Sasuke asked tilting his head slightly in wonder.

"It's pulsing like a blue flame that warms your whole body with the most beautiful dance of swirl around…. your heart and there's a spark in your eyes." He said with the warmest most breath taking innocent smile one could ever see. It made Sasuke just want to melt into a pile of mush. "I guess that makes sense since your Sharingan there would have to be a concentration of chakra always there ready."

Just as he finished speaking the door to the bedroom opened.

"Oh your awake now I see! How do you feel?" Tsunade said walking towards the bed.

"Whoa, yours is so different from his." Naruto said not even listening to the question.

"Huh what's different?" The Hokage asked looking from one boy to the other.

"He says he can see chakra now!" Sasuke said looking up at the Hokage that stood in the doorway.

"How so?"

Chuckling at the question he just answered he told her what he saw looking at her. "While his is swirling around his heart and eye's, yours is in your hands and stomach how odd. You must get a weak stomach while healing."

"Sometimes the blood gets to me." she said honestly while eyeing him.

"I can understand. When someone sees something of that matter far too often they will either block it from mind and do there task or become sick and not want to do any thing referring to that. But, I see why you would become such a great Hokage for us to do what makes you ill is truly putting the village before yourself."

"When did you become so enlightened?"

"He is many things Hokage sama, you wouldn't believe the things he has done without any ones knowledge."

"What else has change of you other than what we can see?"

"All my senses are heightened it would seem and I have gained Kyubbi's knowledge. I know there must be something else, I'm just not understanding what that is right now." He said as if starting to get lost in thought before he looked up to meet her eye's again "I know I slept for a long time but I'm really tired, am I allowed to go back to sleep." He asks softly.

"Yes, go ahead and rest we will talk more when you wake up." She assured him before walking back towards the door.

"Okay." He said through a large cat like yawn. Naruto then looked at Sasuke as if giving him a silent question of 'please stay'.

Lifting up the covers Sasuke slid into bed next to the blonde and instantly Naruto was curled around him, sleep came quickly for him.

Looking up at the Hokage as she left he noticed the slight smile on her lips as she looked at the two of them.

Letting his frustration known through a grunt, she left the room closing the door behind her hiding her chuckle on the other side of the door.

* * *

norm pov-

Walking out into the living room she looked up at the two men looking at her expectantly.

"Well, he awoke for a few minutes but he's still pretty tired and is resting again. Curled up around Sasuke, it's quite… cute." She finished with a smirk.

"Yes, they are cute when there like that from the very first night. Did he say anything?' Kakashi asked.

"Yes he said that his senses are heightened, all of them and that he can see chakra now."

"He sees chakra, how?" Iruka asked confused.

"Well he said that mine is centered and swirling around my hands which makes sense seeing as I'm a medic. He sees it like no other has. It's different from the Byakugan and I would suppose the Sharingan as well. Well any way when they wake, inform me I have more questions for him."

"Hai Hokage sama." They said in unison before they settled back down on the couch cuddling as they processed what they were told had changed about there adopted son.

* * *

Hours seemed to pass with neither teen stirring in the bed. Finally the younger of the two moaned shifting his body closer to the one he was practically lying on already.

Slowly violet eyes began flutter open only to close them in a small smile before opening again. Gently so not to wake his bed mate he brought his hand up to move the lock of hair that had fallen into the ebony haired teens face while they had slept.

"How long have you been awake?" Came a sleep roughened voice under him.

"Hmm, I didn't wake you did I?" Naruto asked softly.

"No. Are you hungry? I haven't known you to go this long with out eating." Sasuke asked concerned

"Yes I'm starved." Naruto said with a pout.

"Alright let me up and I'll make us something to eat and let the others know that your up." He smirked at the pout as he started to get up.

"Okay." Naruto said happy at the prospect of getting food. "Thanks suke."

With a nod Sasuke stepped out of the room to see two heads pop up.

"Is he up yet?" Iruka asked worry evident on his face.

"Yes, but he hasn't eaten in a few days and is asking for food!"

"Oh, then I'll make him something." Iruka said standing.

"No. it's alright, I got it. I'm sure you just want to see him."

"Hai!" Iruka said walking past him to the bedroom.

Sasuke continued on to the kitchen where he made up something quickly for them to eat, while Iruka and Kakashi went into the bedroom.

"Naruto?" Iruka asked hesitant as he opened the bedroom door.

"Hai Iruka sensei."

"How are you feeling?"

"Better. Though I feel like I had a horde of people ran over me a few times."

"Hmm, than you'll live." Kakashi said from behind Iruka.

"Ah, Kakashi sensei. Staying ever close to your favorite ninja I see. I hope  
I haven't kept you away from anything important.." He says softly.

"Seeing as you're awake, I'll let Hokage sama know!" Kakashi stated before leaving the room.

"So, tell me. Hokage sama said you can see chakra now. How do you see it." Iruka asked excitedly.

"Iruka sensei, when I put the tinniest bit of chakra into my eye's I can see the chakra as its pure form not its coils or the path it takes or whatever but the colors and the way they flow."

"And looking at me what do you see?"

"Iruka, you are all heart! You are a smart man who thinks with his heart, though you must know I see more than just your chakra. I can see who you are and it tells me weather I knew it or not that you are a good person."

"Here, I made us some sandwiches since it was quick." Sasuke said handing a sandwich and glass of water over to Naruto and sitting down in a chair by the bed to eat his.

"Thank you." Naruto sighed hungrily before quickly devouring the sandwich and the tall glass of water he was handed.

"What do you see when you look at Sasuke?" Iruka wanted to know.

Smiling softly Naruto looked at Sasuke before answering.

"Sasuke is heart also though it's well guarded its beautiful and trying to break free of his barrier he put up."

"How can you look at me and know that?" Sasuke asked wonder and sadness trying to pass the stoic boys face.

"It is what I see, it is swirling around your heart like Iruka's does but it's different. There is so much that is concentrated there. I'm sure that if the barrier were to drop suddenly, you'd feel an incredible rush of power that you have locked away with your stubbornness to accept."

"Accept what… dobe?" He said almost as an after thought.

"That what's in the past will always stay in the past. The only way you will ever truly heal, is if you look to the future and see happiness. Not in death of others but in life you could bring to someone someday. I believe that this is where you and Iruka sensei are different. He let his down when he allowed Kakashi to be in his life and when he accepted me. And though his power is different than yours it is just as powerful, you see it everyday within the children he teaches."

Breathing hard Sasuke didn't know what to say to that. How could one respond to that with out admitting your feelings for the other you've been trying to ignore.

"Naruto, thank you… no one has ever said that." Iruka said softly.

"There is no need to thank me Iruka sensei, I merely pointed out the truth as I see it." He said with a small smile before turning back to Sasuke to see how he took in all he had said. "Sasuke?"

"Hai Naruto, I'm sorry, I know… your right but, I've spent too much of my life like this to suddenly change from your words no matter how much I…."

"Sasuke," Naruto cut off suddenly. "No one ever expected you to. Anyone who thinks they know you would have expected you to deny any and all about it that the only thing you could ever show emotion for is that of the destruction of what you feel you need to.. Have to avenge. Just know this! Everyone in this room knows what its like to feel loss. To have your family taken from them and that as alone as you have always felt and the anger, others have felt that too."

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke questioned looking between Naruto and Iruka.

"Iruka sensei, lost his parents the same way I did. What is apart of me killed his family. The only reason she's apart of me is because my father gave his life to put her there. One being can change many in a single moment. Ones actions can change lives. Think of your life after you accomplish your goal. How do you see it Sasuke?"

Thinking for a few moments his face blank before looking up at Naruto. "I, see nothing, there is nothing for me after I accomplish it."

"Now erase that goal it never existed you may know how it feels to have lost but what do you see? Would there be love? A family of your own, perhaps?"

Thinking again a flash of emotions crossed his face. So deep in thought he never heard the others enter the room. Looking up into the others eye's he gasped forgetting everything but the one on the bed, his soft eye's spreading warmth through him he never felt before. He knew deep down what he felt for Naruto, he couldn't just ignore.

Falling to his knees next to him his head on the bed he gasped out. "Oh god, I don't know how to… it's all I've ever known how… to have just a flicker of that… gods!"

"Shh." Naruto said running a hand gently through his ebony hair. "Everything in time, for now just breath. Nothing has to happen today or tomorrow all you have to do is breath." He spoke softly to the other blocking out the others in the room for the moment.

Looking up Naruto looked at the faces of the other three in the room. "I'm sorry baachan I know you have some questions for me!" he stated before thinking. 'God how I wish I could just hold you now and tell you everything will be fine when I need to be reassured my self' he thought glancing down for a moment.

'I wish it too' came the reply he couldn't believe he heard but more shocked when he realized the other had heard him.

"H.. how are you hearing me?" Naruto said shocked as he looked down at Sasuke.

"Huh? Well you are talking to me so how am I not to hear you?" Sasuke said sarcastically. "Wait what?" Sasuke thought looking up to meet startled eye's before voicing his sudden confusion. "How is that possible? Please tell me I'm just hearing things."

"Then we're hearing them together I'm afraid." Came the shocked reply.

"What are you two going on about?" Tsunade asked looking from one teen to the other.

"We, we can hear each others thoughts apparently." Naruto informed them.

'Naruto what does this mean' Sasuke said in his head looking at him then to the others.

'I don't know what it means' Naruto sent back. 'Maybe it's because you were my anchor during the last two parts of the merging' he offered.

'That, I guess makes some sense' he sighed.

'You're not upset about this are you?' Naruto worried.

'No, I just have to watch what I think' he chuckled to everyone's wonder out loud.

"Something funny?" Kakashi asked looking at them.

"Huh, oh I just told him that I would have to watch what I think."

"And that was funny?" Tsunade deadpanned.

"You would have had to hear the way he said it Tsunade baachan." Naruto informed smiling.

"Are you able to stop the link or is it a permanent thing?" she asked trying to wrap her mind around everything that had changed.

"I don't know, we just figured out we could do it when you walked in, so we haven't spent much time doing so. Now are there other questions you would like me to answer?"

"Oh, yes. Is the seal still in place?"

"The seal is no longer required there is no way to separate us we are apart of each other though I still haven't seen any of my outward changes I know that I have changed I can feel it."

With that said Kakashi handed him a mirror so he could see just how much he had changed.

Looking into the mirror his face froze. He looked into his own eye's not seeing the normal azure he should see. Instead was a breath taking violet that was just as alluring as his blue had been also his pupils were now elongated more animal like. Looking at his hair, he was only slightly surprised to see that it was now heavily streaked with a fiery red and had grown down to his shoulders. Then he saw his ears, they were now slightly pointed but still looked human enough. He smiled feeling that his teeth had also sharpened a little.

With a sigh he put down the mirror and looked up at them smiling. "Well at least I don't have breasts!"

All looked at him for a moment not sure what to say to that. Finally Sasuke broke the silence.

"Baka!" He stated rolling his eyes.

"Nani, did you expect something else for me to say. I mean what would I do with breasts?"

"Wear a bra!" Came the quick response before laughter filled the large bedroom.

"Kakashi!" Iruka chided smacking him lightly on the arm.

"Tsunade baachan were there any other questions you would like me to try to answer now?" Naruto sighed getting annoyed at how often he had to ask.

"What has Kyuubi said to you about this? About you and Sasuke during the merging, that is?"

"She hasn't said anything! We were resting this whole time being drained how we were I'm sure even Sasuke had to rest for a while."

"I think we should look into this I'll have Sakura start researching on this. especially since Sasuke mentioned something about feeling different. We know nothing about demon- human mergings other than what the 4th did with sealing Kyuubi in you."

"Alright." Naruto said looking into his lap for a minute before looking her in the eye. "I'll ask Kyuubi what has happened I'm sure she knows maybe if I pester her enough she'll tell me."

"For now I want you both to go back to Sasuke's and rest for a few days. Then you can start training again. I want to know how the merging has affected you alright? Just focus on that and let us figure this out alright." She said seeing the worry in Naruto's eye's as he looked between her and Sasuke.

"Alright baachan." Naruto sighed realizing there was nothing else he could do.

"Alright, well go on home when ever you feel up to it and I'll talk to you in a few days to see what we've come up with. And I'd like to have a medic look you over as well." She said with a reassuring smile.

After that Tsunade left to get things going taking Iruka and Kakashi with her. Leaving Sasuke and Naruto to themselves in the quiet bedroom.

"Sasuke, everything's going to be alright won't it?" Naruto asked looking up to meet the onyx eyes.

"Naruto, I…" he started meeting the violet ones. "Of course it is." He said shortly.

Chapter 7 –Birthdays- part 2 end

(tbc)

Thank you again and please do continue to review

As always

Lost in thought


	8. Chapter 8

**WHY**

Chapter 8

Norm pov-

"Sakura, I want you to do some research for me." Tsunade informed her apprentice.

"And what is it you want me to research, Tsunade-hime?" Sakura asked as she sat in a chair in the Hokage's office.

"You're to research on demons and half demons! I want to know how human and demon chakra's are different along with everything you can find." she informed.

"Is this about Naruto?" Sakura asked, getting a little more serious now that it most definitely had something to do with someone she considered a brother.

"Yes, it's on Naruto and Sasuke! I'm afraid that something happened during the merging, and Sasuke was affected by it. The only thing is, we know so little about it that we don't know if it's harmful to him or not. There's not much we can do about it now. We just want to know if this will have any ill effect on him."

"How is Naruto doing?" She asked, worried since she hadn't had the time to go see either Naruto or Sasuke.

"He seems fine. He's had some changes to his outward appearance, but we have no idea how it has effected him as a whole." Tsunade informed, trying to stay neutral when it came to Naruto, not wanting to show how much he meant to her. He was like a little brother, the way she felt for him.

"I will do as Hokage asks." Sakura said with a slight nod of her head.

"Sakura, I'll be having Naruto come to get checked in a day or so. I wish to have some information by then if it is at all possible. He is worried about what this has done to Sasuke."

"Hai. I will try. Are there any others who will be working on this?"

"Hinata will be coming in to help with the scans, and I will be asking her to help with the research as well. You've requested from other villages about this, have you not?"

"Yes. I have sent out request to other villages and have received many scrolls already. It only takes the time to go through it. Hinata-hime will be much appreciated in researching this Hokage-sama." She said, knowing how important this was.

"Sakura, thank you. This is a very important thing you are doing in researching this for them."

"Hai, I know. And I will begin as soon as I leave here." With a nod from the Hokage, she left the office to get back to researching for her friends.

* * *

Sasuke pov-

We've been home for a few days and he hasn't taken it easy at all. He just jumped right in and started training hard. It's like he can't stand still. He doesn't sleep anymore, even with me there. He's always up moving around, like he has to be doing something at all times. The only time he's ever still is when were sleeping He just snuggles up closer to me, like I'm a life line. One he has to breathe in and form around.

I don't know what I'd do if he ever decides he doesn't want to share a bed with me. I've grown quite used to his weight settled on and around me. Breathing in his sent as I fall asleep each night. Wild flowers and a summer breeze, that's his sent. And I feel that is very much who he is.

* * *

Norm pov-

Out in the training fields, you can hear the heavy panting and the destruction one blow from Naruto had done.

"Gyaaahhh….." Sasuke let out before grunting when he hit a near by tree with his side. "Shit Naruto…. When did…. you…. Learn that?" Sasuke panted as he looked up at Naruto. "I haven't seen you work on that move at all!" He said once his breathing was more under control.

"Last night. Are you okay?" Naruto asked, worried as he hurried over to him.

"Last night! Shit, I'm fine. Just remember I'm not the enemy." Sasuke huffed as he started to pull himself up off the ground.

"I'm sorry!" Naruto whimpered, crouched next to his friend as he watched him start to get up.

"It's okay." Sasuke said, bringing his hand up to the others cheek in a reassuring manor.

"Sit out for a while. Let me get it under control, alright?" Naruto said, worry marking his face as he helped Sasuke stand fully.

"Okay, as long as we spar later!" Sasuke said, trying to lighten the mood he knew the other was starting to fall into.

"Of course." He says with a large smile breaking his face.

* * *

-Somewhere else in Konoha-

"Ah, Iruka sensei, how are you today?" Sakura asked as she spotted her old sensei.

"Sakura san, I'm well. And you, how have you been?" the teacher asked, a friendly smile crossing his face.

"Oh good. I was about to see if the boys wanted to go to lunch with me. I haven't seen them for a week; thought we could catch up." She said, returning the smile. "How is Kakashi sensei? I heard he got back from a mission this morning?"

"Actually, I was about to meet Kakashi for lunch." Iruka said, glancing down at his watch. "I should be going. He said to meet him an hour ago so he should just be getting there." Iruka said with a smirk.

"Ah yes, he never could show up for anything on time." She said, slightly amused.

"Well, tell them hello for me and that I'll see them later this week." Iruka said before starting to walk away.

"Will do, Iruka sensei." She returned, heading off towards the training grounds she knew she'd find the two males.

* * *

Back with Sasuke and Naruto -

A few hours go by and Sasuke is still watching Naruto reign in his control as he moved from one Jutsu to another, hardly breaking a sweat as his body moved as if like liquid.

"What's going on?" Sakura asks, walking up to Sasuke.

"He's training!" Came the simple, awed reply.

"Training…? What does he look like when you're sparing?" She said, amusement playing in her eye's as she watched the smaller male move around the training area.

"Even better." Sasuke said before realizing. "I mean..." he said, his eye's wide with disbelief of what he just said.

"Don't worry, I know." She said with a slight chuckle.

"You know what?" Sasuke asked with a raised eye brow.

"That the two of you have the hot's for each other." She said with a knowing look. "You know, if I didn't know it was him, I would have sworn some chick was doing one helluva demolition job topless!" she whistled.

"Heh, he looks better than any chick topless… damn it!" Sasuke cursed under his breath, closing his eye's for a moment.

"He certainly has you wound up, doesn't he? I've never seen you this way."

"He has no idea what he does to me!" Sasuke sighed.

"So, how long has he been at it? I thought we could go for some lunch!" she said, changing the subject.

"Its lunch already!" 'Naruto, lunch!' Sasuke said through they're link.

Naruto stopped all movement then turned, flashing the most stunning smile that Sasuke had ever seen, holding his breath a moment before his heart starting to race. Naruto quickly jogged over to them as he began to pull his shirt on.

"Where we eattin?" He asked Sasuke with a smile still on his face. "Oh Sakura-chan, how are you today? How's the research going?" He asked once he noticed the pink haired girl.

"Oh, I'm good. It's getting there; there hasn't been much information here on demons, so I've sent out requests to other villages." She said, trying to reassure him.

"Have I thanked you lately for doing all this for us; for me. I'm suppose to go back in to see baa-chan about the scans in a few days. She said she was waiting on some information of some sort. I hope she gets it. I'd really like to know what's going on." He said, looking past both Sasuke and Sakura, as if lost in thought for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Naruto. I've been looking. I just... I've only found a small bit, and I know there's got to be more out there. We just have to look, ne. How have you been, Naruto? Is there anything else I could do?" she asked, worry present on her face.

"No, I don't think so. But thanks." He sighed before putting on a small smile. "So, what's for lunch?" Naruto asked, hoping to change the subject.

"What, you're not going to beg for ramen right off?" Sakura asked, shocked.

"No. I'll have you know I do eat things other than ramen. Ramen just happens to be the cheapest and fastest to make." He said with an almost sad smile.

"So it's not your favorite food?" She was now intrigued to find out more of her friend she thought she knew.

"No." He said, shaking his head and shrugging. "I know, why don't we go back to Sasuke's, and I can make us something to eat." Naruto suggested.

"I didn't know you could cook!" she exclaimed with a slight tilt of her head.

"He can definitely cook. I swear he's going to make me fat with the way he cooks. I don't know how he's kept so thin."

"Well, when you spend half your life running from villagers, and the other half training with little food to actually eat, does help in the thin department. But with Kyubbi being part of me, I tend to burn off most of what I eat fast. I can't seem to keep still for very long. There's always something I could be doing. I just can't seem to figure out what that something is yet." Naruto said with a weak smile and a sigh.

"Shit, Naruto that's not…"

"It's all good. I'll make your favorite, kay? And I was thinking stir fry, or we could have sushi. I started cooking like crazy this morning. So, there's lots of leftovers." Naruto said, trying to change the subject.

"No wonder I woke up so hungry!" Sasuke smirked, meeting violet eyes for a moment.

"Sorry, I couldn't sleep!" Naruto said softly, knowing the lecture he knew by heart was coming, hearing it from both baa-chan and Sasuke all the time.

"Again? Naruto, you need to get more than three hours rest a night, with your training." Sasuke sighed, frustrated. "You're training extremely hard, and still you're cooking us three meals a day and doing over half of the household chores! And you know what Tsunade-sama said. If sleeping together isn't helping, then I don't know what else we're to do."

"Sasuke, it is helping, more than you know. I'm thankful for the little rest I get. I don't think I would get that much if it weren't for you. Look, I'm trying, okay? A little nap here and there will help; will that make you happy?" He asked with a hopeful look.

"I suppose for now that's all I'm gonna get, isn't it?" Sasuke sighed, running a hand through his ebony hair in frustration. This would be the one argument they had almost daily, that no matter what they did, they couldn't figure out a way to fix.

"Hey, I'm sorry okay? Why don't we go home and I'll fix your favorite, okay? And then I promise I try to take a nap, how does that sound?" Naruto said, slightly pouting because he knew it frustrated Sasuke that he wasn't getting enough sleep, and knew Sasuke couldn't resist his pouting.

"Damn it, stop with the pouting! I hate when you do that!"

"I know, I'm sorry." Naruto said, frowning as he began to turn away.

"Naruto, stop apologizing! We'll go have lunch, and then we can do whatever; we don't have to train twenty four-seven." Sasuke said softly, trying to show that he wasn't angry at him, even if he was angry that he

wasn't getting enough sleep.

Turning slightly, Naruto smiled, meeting Sasuke's eye's briefly "Alright, I'll go get lunch started!" Naruto yelled, running ahead of them.

"God, you two are too cute! Just ask him out already. I mean, you already live together, and you both have a thing for the other." Sakura said, hanging back and talking with Sasuke.

"Sakura, drop it!" Sasuke hissed as he watched Naruto disappear through the door into the house.

"Are you scared to ask him out?" She asked, looking over at him as he looked anywhere but at her. "That's it, isn't it? You're afraid." She said, almost shocked at the idea.

"Hn, I'm not scared of anything!" He said, turning his head, raising his nose, slightly huffing.

"Yes you are, otherwise you would have already asked him out. What happened to Uchiha Sasuke the avenger, who doesn't let fear stop him from what he wants, and who will one day kill his brother?" She spouted off his old way of thinking with a smirk.

"Nothing has happened to me, just.. Drop It!" He hissed angrily before walking in the door.

By the time they made it to the kitchen, Naruto was halfway through making lunch.

"Oh my, Naruto, when you guys said you could cook, I didn't think you…"

"Meant it! Of course, this is what happens when you leave me alone in a kitchen for too long...I go a bit over board." He said sheepishly.

"Yeah, so if you ever want to come over for dinner some time, I'm sure he'd be overjoyed. He loves to cook, and the more people that are here, the less fat I'll become." Sasuke said laughter present in his voice as he spoke.

"Yes, I've read every cook book Sasuke has, and practically everyone at the book store."

"Don't you need the books to cook it?" Sakura questioned, arching an eyebrow.

"No, I have it all memorized. Not to mention what Iruka taught me. You and the whole gang should come by one night and I'll cook for us all." Naruto said happily as he bustled around the kitchen, seeming quite in his 'own world' there.

"That would be wonderful." Sakura said, amazed at how fast he works in the kitchen; how at home he suddenly seemed there. Looking over at Sasuke, she leaned over and whispered. "Sasuke, you have to do it. If you don't, I'll do it for you."

"Sakura, don't!" Sasuke said quietly, his eye's widening as she brushed his reply aside.

"Just give me a sec. And I'll find out if right now is right. You two need the help, and everyone is tired of watching and waiting. We want to see you both happy." She said in her best sisterly voice.

"Eh? Who all knows about this?" Sasuke said, unsure how people had figured it out when they hadn't even spoken to each other about it.

"Naruto, do you have a second?" Sakura asked, not bothering to answer Sasuke's question.

"Sure Sakura, what's up?" He said, looking up from what he was doing over at the stove.

"In private?" She said, motioning towards the door with her head.

"Um, yeah. 'Suke, watch the food, will ya!" 'What's this about, Sasuke? She has that look in her eyes again?' Naruto asked as he followed her towards the door.

"Uh, yeah, sure." He said, frowning as the two left the room. 'Um… its nothing, just humor her. She seems set in whatever idea she's got cooking.' He replied to him

* * *

Other room…..

"Naruto, how do you feel about Sasuke?"

"What do you mean? You know how I feel!" Naruto said with a tilt of his head.

"Do you love him?" she asked, looking into his eye's.

"What is love? If love is to always want the other to be happy, to do anything in your power to see them that way. To be by there side and help them however you can, then yes, I would say I love him. But this is coming from a person who has never known love."

"Do you feel that he loves you?"

"I can only hope that he loves me. I know he has never shown me love, but he does care, that I see everyday. I wish there was more, but I know I can't give him what he needs and wants. So I'll be happy being his friend and watching from the side, if that be the case, even if that's not what I want."

"Why would you think you can't give him what he wants or needs?" she asked, frowning at this.

"Well, there are just some things that a man just can't give another man." He stated calmly with a sad smile, as if she should already know the answer to that; she was a medic-nin was she not?

"Naruto, for some, they don't need that! And if you love each other…."

"No, your right." He butted in. "Some don't. But he does. He always has. That's why I don't... that's why I think…. I think its time that maybe, I should go back."

"Go back?" she said, furrowing her brow in alarm.

"Home. To my apartment."

"But I thought that you were happy here?" She said, her eye's widening at what he said. "You love him!"

"I do love him. And I am. I'm more than happy. But it's not my happiness that I'm focused on, it's his. He's done it enough for me that I should repay it. I mean, it's hard to find a wife when you're sleeping in a bed with another guy." He said with an innocent, yet not so innocent smile as he thought of all the mornings he had woken in Sasuke's arms, his sent surrounding them, keeping him in a slight fog.

"Naruto, you dolt! He loves you! You can't just leave…" she said in disbelief at how this whole conversation had gone.

"I should get back to lunch, make sure that it's not burnt or nothing. I did leave Sasuke in charge, and while he does know how to cook some, I don't trust him enough not to burn it just for making him wait for his

food!" He said, walking away from her, a smile playing on his lips even though it didn't reach his eyes.

Sitting there dumbfounded, she didn't know what to say. How could that have gone so upside down on her? She didn't know! All she knew was when Sasuke came in to get her for lunch, she still looked dazed.

"Sakura…" He tried again

"Huh? What?" she said, coming out of her daze.

"I said lunch is ready. What happened?"

"He loves you. But I'm afraid if you don't do something quick, you're going to lose your chance at ever having him!"

"What?" His eye's widen at her words.

"He thinks he can't give you what you want or need. And he's going to go back to his apartment so you can find yourself a woman to love, so you can have what you need. Well, he didn't even say love, but that it was hard for you to find a wife if you're sleeping in a bed with another man… Sasuke please say you're going to do something about this!"

"I… I… he loves me!" He said, a little dazed.

"Yes! But he's not sure how you feel. You need to tell him how you feel, Sasuke!" She said firmly.

"Where are you two? Lunch is getting cold! Okay, so half of it is made cold, but you know what I mean." Naruto laughed from the door way to the kitchen.

They turned to look at Naruto, not surprised to see a smile on his face as he turned to go back into the kitchen.

* * *

The three sat in silence, eating until Naruto couldn't take it anymore.

"What is going on with you two? You both look like you had your hearts ripped out and stomped on!" Naruto said to lighten the mood.

"In a way, I have!" Sasuke said, looking up with so much emotion in his eye's that Naruto gasped, unable to look away. Never had he seen such emotion in the others face.

"Wha… What do you.. mean?" Naruto said, uncertain if he wanted to know, but knowing he had to know.

"Naruto…I think we need to talk!" Sasuke said, putting his chopsticks down. Hearing this, Naruto looked between Sasuke and Sakura, knowing something had happened while he was back in the kitchen.

"Alright, what is it we… 'need' to talk about?" Naruto said, biting his lip.

"Um, I'll talk to you two later! Thanks for lunch, Naruto. It was great." She said, furrowing her brows as she quickly left the house of her two closest male friends.

Looking up a bit worried, Naruto sighed before he spoke. "Um, 'Suke?"

"Naruto, I know I'm a prick, and I don't know how to show how I feel very well, but I'm trying. Please tell me that you're not leaving me! I don't know what I'd do without you here!" Sasuke questioned pleadingly.

"'Suke, I... Sakura told you what we were talking about, didn't she?" He said, a bit exasperated at how the day was turning out. ''Suke?' He questioned again when he got no response.

"I already knew before she pulled you away what the topic was going to be! But that's not what I'm talking about. Please, just give me a straight answer."

"It's funny that you would use the word 'straight'." Naruto said, slightly amused that he could ruffle the ebony haired male up so much.

"Naruto… I'm being serious here." Sasuke said, getting frustrated and worried that Naruto would slip away from him before he got a chance to show him how he felt for him.

"I know you are, but if you want the truth... yes, I did tell her I was going to move back to my apartment soon." Naruto said with a sigh.

"Why? I don't understand!" Sasuke looked pleadingly at him.

"I know how I feel for you and it hurts me to leave, but you won't be able to gain what you want in a relationship with me. I'll only end up more hurt in the end when you leave me." Naruto said, shocked at all the emotion he was seeing in the other. Never had someone seen so much emotion from him.

"What do you mean I won't be able to? You are all I want. Do you know how hard it has been for me to hold you in my arms each night, and not tell you how I feel? I wasn't sure how you would react to that, so I didn't tell you. I didn't want it to end, the feel of you there. I just kept my mouth shut, trying to hold in how much you mean to me."

"Sasuke, you wanted a family! You wanted to have children! How are you going to do that if I stay in your arms?" He pleaded, sadness etched across his face.

"Naruto, I don't want children if that means I lose you. And in case you haven't noticed, I don't have feelings for any of the women here, or elsewhere, for that matter. The closest I feel for one is Sakura being my closest female friend. The idea of ever sleeping with one... really kinda turns me off! I don't see how I could ever have children with one. You on the other hand, I get hard just seeing you fully dressed!" He sighed, knowing it was the truth. He was in love with Naruto, and no matter what anyone said, he would always be.

"Sasuke, I don't know what to say!" Naruto said, biting his lip as he looked away from the confessing Uchiha. "Why does everything have to be so difficult?"

"Naruto, you are like air to me; with out you I would surely die. You're the reason I'm here now instead of being a brooding bastard trying to kill my only living relative. I couldn't love another the way I love you. I want to go to sleep each night with you in my arms. I want to grow old with you" Sasuke said, sighing he looked at his love and continued mentally. 'Look what you've reduced me to, saying these things, professing my love to you; and you won't even look at me. Am I wrong with how I feel? When I have never felt so happy before in my life than when I'm with you? Are you really going to leave me because you think I want something I don't need? All I need is you!' "I love you." He said out loud, almost desperately, as Naruto looked up to meet his eye's for the first time.

"'Suke…" The now violet eyed male looked up, shocked at all he had heard in a matter of moments, his eye's starting to shine with the unshed tears he didn't even notice had begun to collect; slowly they began to roll down his face unnoticed.

"Naruto, I love you. I think I always have. I've just been too stubborn to realize." Sasuke said, reaching up to brush away a stray tear that escaped.

"I love you too!" Naruto said, looking up into onyx colored eyes.

Bringing his hand up to graze a whiskered cheek again, he looked into the shocked violet eyes before bringing his lips down in a chaste kiss, showing the other that he meant what he said, poring as much love and passion as he could in the brief moment that they shared; there now second kiss of there lives.

With his cheeks now brightly flushed, Naruto felt dizzy as his eyes closed. When the other began to pull away, he brought his hand up, running it through the raven locks before bringing him back down to crash their lips together in a fierce kiss. A kiss filled with all the passion, lust, and love he felt for the other.

Finally pulling away, Naruto sighed and leaned his head against Sasuke's chest. Minutes seem to pass before either spoke. Finally breaking the silence, Naruto yawned.

"You're tired, you should rest!" Sasuke murmured.

"'M'not tired." Naruto said around another yawn. "And you always say that!"

"Sure your not! Go up to our room and rest. I'll take

care of the dishes, okay."

"Oh the dishes! I forgot about them." Naruto said as he went to move towards the kitchen.

"Where are you going? The bedroom is up stairs, love. Go rest, please? You said you would. We'll talk more afterwards." Sasuke said, brushing his lips against the others before walking towards the kitchen.

"Your being awfully persistent today, 'Suke." Naruto said, smiling at the care Sasuke went through for him.

"Only because I care. Please just rest." Sasuke said, pausing briefly when he was only a step away.

"Only if you come and join me when you're done with the dishes." Naruto said around yet another yawn, his body suddenly realizing it was okay to rest a little.

"Of course." Sasuke said, leaning down to kiss Naruto gently before walking towards the kitchen, looking over his shoulder only once to make sure Naruto was, indeed, going towards the stairs.

* * *

Sasuke pov-

I walked into our room and I find him sleeping peacefully. 'Finally' I think as I walk over to the bed.

Stripping off my shirt and pants, I climb under the covers next to him, smiling when I feel him shift to lay his head on my chest. 'How does he do that? Just know when I'm next to him?' I think as I run my hand through his soft hair.

'Because I can sense you even in sleep,' came the reply from the sleeping beauty on my chest.

'Are you asleep?' I say in my head

'Yes. Well, for the most part.' He said, sounding hopeful.

'How can you know it's me and not someone else?'

'You're sent. I can almost always tell where you are in this house, even sometimes when your not.' "You smell like lavender!"

'Hmm…'

Opening sleepy violet eyes, they peered into onyx.

"Go back to sleep love!"

"I will. I just wanted to look into your eyes before I do." He smiled as his eyes began to droop again. "I love you" He said as sleep took him, never hearing the other reply with 'I love you too.'

Chapter 8 end

(tbc)


	9. Chapter 9

ANthank you all who have been reading my fic here sorry for the long wait I had a bit of a block going and lots of birthdays/holidays to get in the way…. Hope you all enjoy this one cuz it was a bitch to get out. Thank you all again

AN Coming up 'LEMONS' skip it if you want or not your choice…. Just don't throw a flame at me if you don't like it. It was your choice to read it.

Thank you

**Why**

Chapter 9

Naruto and Kyuubi talk-

"Kyuubi, what's going on? I feel a little different."

_'It's nothing kit. Your body is still in adjustment. It's nothing to worry yourself over. In the end, I'm sure you'll be happy.'_

"Why? What is it that's changing?"

_'Kit, it doesn't matter. When the time comes, you shall know. Until then, it doesn't change your life, and I'm sure your not feeling any pain from it."_

"No, there's no pain, just a knowing that something is not the same. Why won't you tell me? It's my body, you know; I'd like to know what's happening to it."

_'You have that meeting with your baa-chan tomorrow, do you not?' she stated more than asked._'

"Yes. What about it?" he asked, curious."_  
_

'_She's going to be scanning you. Tell her that I will not tell you any more than I have, and that what is happening will not hurt you in anyway. I would have told you if there was something wrong.'  
_

"Alright. Do you know what this link between Sasuke and I is? She's going to talk about it, and I don't want this to be something that could hurt us."

_'The link, as you put it, is something that connects you to your chosen. It does not hurt either of you. It is a form of being able to make sure the other is all right. It is your demon side that made it possible for you to form this link between you. I'm sure it's almost a comfort to you both knowing the other is only a thought away.'_

"It is; at least, it is to me."

_'I'm sure you will be able to use it to your advantage in missions, along with your heightened senses.'_

* * *

(((( LEMON'S ahead! ))))

Some where else in Konoha-

"Iruka, I'm sure they're fine. It's late, come to bed. Worry about them in the morning, please?" Kakashi begged as he slipped into there bed naked, in hopes his lover would notice.

"You're sure?" he said unbelievingly, not seeing his lover's prominent erection as he slid into bed. "I don't think so. You've seen the way he's changed in the last few weeks. How am I to stay calm when I need to be worrying about them? They're having that scan tomorrow to see what's wrong with them. How can you stay so calm when you know all this?" Iruka frowned as he watched the other try to get comfortable in bed.

"You don't need to be worrying about them, love. 'Ru, come to bed. I've missed sleeping next to you. I love you, and I'm sure that there is nothing horribly wrong with them. It's Naruto and Sasuke. They have beyond  
enough luck between the two of them that I'm sure they'll be fine." Kakashi said, pulling down the other side of the sheets for the other to slide in.

Climbing into the bed next to him, Iruka sighed, moving closer until he laid his head down on the other's shoulder. "Mmm... is it just the sleeping you missed?" Iruka asked, leaning in to nuzzle his lover. "I think we can come up with something much more enjoyable, don't you agree?" Iruka smiled as he lowered his hand to softly trail across Kakashi's toned abdomen, relishing in the shudder that came of it.

Licking his lips, Iruka trailed his hand lower still until he came in contact with his lover's hard and leaking member. Lightly touching it, he was rewarded with a gasp as Kakashi moaned his pleasure. Rolling them over so he was on top, Kakashi slid his body between the parted legs, relishing in the feel of there skin sliding against each other.

"Mmm… god, I've missed you." Iruka moaned into the mouth as it devoured his own. Thrusting his hips up, he moaned again as his member came in contact with the ever hardening length rubbing against his.

"Kashi… mmm.. Please, its… been too.. ohh... long.." Iruka groaned as he locked his ankles together, thrusting up to his lover, frantic to feel his lover claim him anew.

"It's been 12 hours…" Kakashi husked into his ear before lightly running his tongue along the shell, eliciting a moan of pleasure.

"Exactly. Mmm… too long, love. Please, I need you." Iruka panted, his breath heavy with need.

Kakashi took that as his cue and reached under Iruka's pillow, pulling out the lube. He smirked down at his lover's flushed face, his mouth slacked and panting, eye's half mast with want.

Taking off the top, Kakashi spread a liberal amount on his fingers before setting it aside.

"I love you." Kakashi said, raising his clean hand to caress the brunets flushed cheek. Slowly, he brought his slicked fingers to his lover's entrance and circled the pucker, eliciting a shudder from the man.

"Kashi, please…" Iruka moaned in frustration, wanting nothing more than the man to fill him, to claim him.

"Is this, what you want, love?" Kakashi speared his forefinger in, starting a slow, in/out rhythm, licking his lips as Iruka began to move against his finger. He added another, slowly spreading them out to stretch him for something much larger and oh, so much more pleasurable.

"Kashi… hurry, please, mmm…" Iruka panted as a third finger was added.

Quickly, Kakashi finished stretching his lover and was rewarded with a whimper when he extracted his fingers from the delicious heat they had been incased in.

"Tell me, love, what you want!" demanded Kakashi as he positioned himself at the entrance.

"You! I want you, in me now. Filling me 'til there is no thought left in my head; just the pleasure of you so deep in me, there's no way I could ever forget I'm yours." Iruka's breathed, surprised he was able to say so much with his legs spread wide and his body flushed with need.

Kakashi pushed slightly, feeling himself breach that beloved channel. Another push and he was gasping, wanting nothing more than to pound into the tight heat that surrounded him. Setting a steady rhythm, he was encouraged on by the desperate cries of 'faster... harder'. He complied. Lifting his lover's legs to rest on his shoulders, he began to pound in to the inviting flesh, holding onto the strong, lithe thighs.

All to soon they were falling, pushed over the edge by the violent pleasures coursing through them. With a final scream, Iruka came, his body shaking pleasurably as he tried to find his lungs ability to hold oxygen. Kakashi thrust one last time, spilling his seed with an exaggerated grunt. Exhausted, Kakashi fell, dropping Iruka's legs along the way.

In a tangle of limbs, the pair fell asleep, there bodies covered with there makings.

* * *

Norm pov- Naruto & Sasuke's bedroom-

"Naruto, stop that! We need to.. unn... stop. Hokage... mmm." Sasuke said, throwing his head back as his fingers carded through Naruto's blond locks.

"What was that?" Naruto smirked as he looked up from his task.

"What... are you doing... don't stop.." Sasuke moaned again as his hard length was once again enclosed in the hot mouth of his love.

It wasn't long before Sasuke arched his back, shouting the Naruto's name, his cum swallowed hungrily. As his body slowly came back down to some semblance of normal, Naruto slowly showered him with light kisses, crawling his way back up the body to rest his head on the ebony haired male's shoulder.

'God, I love you. I've never seen a more beautiful sight then when you cum screaming my name.' Naruto thought, laying next to Sasuke and lightly tracing patterns over his skin.

"Hmm... Then we should invest in a mirror so you can see yourself." Sasuke mused, his body relaxing into the light touch of his lover.

Climbing off the bed, Naruto searched for his clothes as he walked naked into the bathroom.

"Hey, where are you going?" Sasuke complained as he sat up, following the other with his eyes.

"You were saying something about the Hokage and a meeting? I believe that would require us getting dress, love." Naruto smirked over his shoulder. "So why don't you join me in the shower?"

Without thought, Sasuke jumped out of the bed and chased him into the bathroom. Quickly turning the shower on, they both stepped under the warm spray of water.

Turning to face Naruto, Sasuke lightly stroked his fingers down his jaw before pulling him close, pressing his lips hard against the blonds.

"You know I love you. I couldn't ever imagine waking again without you there." Sasuke said, pulling there bodies flush as his hands trailed down the taunt sides to rest on slim hips.

"'Suke, I can't imagine ever not being here with you. Now that I have you, I don't plan to ever lose you. I'm afraid you're stuck with me." Naruto admitted before capturing Sasuke's lips again for a slow and passionate kiss.

As the kiss progressed, the more heated it became; their hands roaming, learning the feel and touch of the other again. Soon, their moans could just barely be heard over the rush of the water that sprayed down on them, heating their already warm skin.

"Mmm... 'Suke..." Naruto moaned as he watched his prick disappears into the hot mouth that surrounded him, sucking him and bringing him over to completion. "Oh god, 'Sukeee!" Naruto practically screamed as he came in a rush, his body convulsing into the mouth that eagerly swallowed his load.

"We are so late. Hokage is going to have our asses!" Sasuke said as he stood, lightly brushing his lips against the blond's laxed ones.

"Hmm... 'sokay, she'll forgive me." Naruto smirked lazily as he looked up into the other's eyes.

Shaking his head, Sasuke finished the shower they should have been having and got out before he could be persuaded to stay any longer.

(((END lemons)))

* * *

Hokage office- Norm pov-

"Naruto, Sasuke. I see you've decided to finally show. Please sit." She said motioning towards the two seats in front of her desk.

"Sorry were late, Baa-chan. It's my fault." Naruto said, not sure whether to smirk or blush.

"I'm sure it is. Now, the reason your here. Sakura and Hinata are still doing some research but they have come up with some information that should be helpful and I'm having Hinata come up in a bit to do the scans on the both of you." She said, looking at the pair and sensing something had changed.

"What is it that they've found?" Sasuke asked looking up to briefly meet the woman's eyes.

"It seems this link that you both have talked about, has more meaning to it than we would have thought. It seems that this link is a form of bonding that a demon and their mate go through." She said, a mask of profession covering her excitement and curiosity.

"Bonding? Mate? What does that mean and what does that have to do with us?" Sasuke asked.

"It means that Naruto's demon side sees you as his mate, and decided to begin the bonding process with you." She said, as if diagnosing the common cold.

"And how do you know it was my demon side and not me? And isn't my demon side still me..?" Naruto said, a little annoyed that he was being talked about and not with.

"Well, yes, but that would say that you would have already, so to speak, have loved him before your merging. And it's not like you were more than  
friends." She said, stating what half the village knew but had no clue what the truth was.

Blushing slightly, Naruto ducked his head..

"I see. Then are you...?" she said, trailing off as she studied the pair as they looked everywhere but at her.

"Naruto and I are dating if that is what you're asking. We have apparently been in love with each other far longer than we have been dating, to further  
answer your question." Sasuke said as he reached out a hand and lightly brushed a lock of hair that had fallen in Naruto's face, back behind his ear.

"Then this will be far more interesting that I first thought. Ah... Hinata. I see you have joined us." Tsunade said, nodding her head towards the still quiet girl by the door. "Are you all ready to do the scans? I'm eager to see what they will show."

The three nodded there heads and followed their leader towards a side door that lead to her private exam room she kept incase of emergencies.

* * *

Naruto pov-

I'm scared. I don't know what they're going to find with this scan, and I don't like not knowing. Kyuubi said it was nothing to worry about, so I shouldn't, but… but I have this feeling that what is happening now is important, that it will change 'Suke and I in the long run.

Turning back to there ministrations of me, I see Hinata frown as she looks at me.

"Naruto... um how do you feel?" Hinata asks, looking me in the eye. Hmm, I don't think she's ever truly done that before.

"I feel fine. Well, there's this slight... shift, but I don't know what it is. It doesn't hurt or anything, it's just this knowing that something's different." I say thinking more out loud to myself than to them.

"When did it start?"

"Oh, well, I guess recently. Ever since this boost of energy, I guess. But Kyuubi said it was nothing to worry about."

"Wait. When did you talk to Kyuubi about this? You hadn't even told me." Sasuke said. He sounded worried, but annoyed all the same. I guess I should have told him; there's nothing I can do now that he knows.

"She said it was nothing to worry about; that she wasn't going to tell me anymore than she had to until the right time. She's acting like it's a surprise or something." I say, looking up between the three of them. "She seems really happy about it, or at least that I'll be happy about it. Nothing to worry about; she would never cause me harm, or the people I that I care for."

"There is nothing wrong with you, as far as I can see, Naruto. All the scans say your in perfect health, so other than this 'shift', nothing is wrong." Tsunade said with a reassuring smile.

"Alright, but what about 'Suke, and this bond we have?"

"Sasuke-san, if you could just sit on the table here, I can scan you as well." Hinata said.

Sasuke complied quickly and laid down as I had just been doing. And just as quickly he was sitting back up waiting for what Hinata would tell us.

"Sasuke-san, you as well have changed since this 'bonding'. But there seems to be no ill effect on you from it. You have a shared chakra I have never seen before, and it is centered in one area."

"And that is...?" Sasuke asked as he sat up straighter.

"It seems to be centered around your heart. Kind of like it has formed a sort of, protective bubble, so to speak, there." She informed us. "I have never seen it before, but it would explain part of this bond you've formed."

"Thank you, Hinata. If there is nothing else, I think that's all we will need for now."

"Hai, Hokage-sama." She said quietly before leaving the room.

* * *

Sasuke pov-

"Sasuke?" I hear from the door way into the living room.

"Hnn?" I ask, not looking up from the book on my lap.

"How do you feel about all this?" Naruto asks, walking over and sitting next to me on the couch.

"About what?" I ask, looking over at him. He's biting his lip; that's never a good sign. He's worried.

"Us, this? I mean, this bonding thing baa-chan was talking about; it's a forever thing, not just… a fling." He says quietly as he looks at his hands; they're fidgeting a lot.

Reaching over, I clasp his hands in mine as I look him in the eye. "And I never said we were a fling," I reach up with one hand and lift his chin so his face is even with mine. "Now did I? I love you, you dolt. Why would I be scared off now? Now that I have you, I just have to figure out how to keep you wanting me."

"Mmm, I don't think it will be _that_ hard." He says before taking my book away from me and promptly climbed onto my lap.

"So tell me, how do you feel about this? It's not like there seems to be much choice for you. And this bonding that they were talking about, they didn't really tell us what is expected of it."

"They don't know, that's why they weren't very helpful. Once they understand it all better, they will inform us. Or Kyuubi will start talking. I think it's nothing that needs to be worried about at the present time, and that, if it means we are bound to each other 'til either of us dies, then I will cherish every moment. I love you." He finished, breathing against my lips.

Lightly kissing each other, they were brought out of there slight trance to the sound of knocking at the door.

Grumbling, Naruto got up to answer the door. Opening the door he smiled at the person standing there before inviting them in.

End chapter

(tbc)

Thank you all for reading and please do review I live off them

As always

Lost in a thought


	10. Chapter 10

AN- there's a Kakashi/Iruka lemon filler chapter that goes between chapter 9 and 10 I wasn't sure if I should post it here so I went the safe root and didn't. But if you want to read it here's there's a link on my profile page to my live journal. Its short but I think better than the ones in the last chapter lol. Anyways its there if you want to read it if you like it leave a review-AN

**Why**

Chapter 10

Naruto pov-

"Iruka sensei, I wasn't expecting you today." I said after opening the  
door.

"Well I knew you were getting that 'scan' today and I wanted to know how it went." he said, looking at me expectantly

"Hmm, you might want to come in and sit. Suke's in the living room now." I say, letting him through the door. "Isn't Kakashi with you?" I ask, seeing him alone.

"No. I was with him this morning before he had to go see Hokage-sama, but he'll be along later I'm sure." he said, moving towards the living room.

After we walk into the living room I let Iruka sit in the arm chair to the side of the couch as I sat next to Sasuke, who put down his book again to look at Iruka. "Iruka sensei, let me guess, you're here about the scans we had today." Sasuke states as he watches us get comfortable.

"Always were a fast one Sasuke. Yes, though Naruto said I needed to sit to hear about it and that doesn't sit very well for me. Has something happened? I told Kakashi I had reason to worry. What is it?" he asks getting into worry faze far to fast. Quickly I move to assure him that nothing is 'wrong'.

"There's nothing to worry about. Nothing bad has happened. Actually, I think we're happy about it." I say, feeling a small smile grace my lips.

"Then what is it?" Iruka asks, looking from me to Sasuke then back, his brows furrowed.

"Naruto and I have started a bonding that most demons and there mates start. It's a form of marriage so to speak is what I gather. Though it would have been nice if we had been together for longer than 2 weeks when it started, but I couldn't be happier about it."

"So that's what all this is about, you sat me down to tell me you're in the process of getting married? Oh I'm soo happy for you." Oh no, Iruka's eyes are starting to glisten. Oh yep, there he goes, he has tears. Damn it, now I'm gonna start.

"Well, I'm glad your okay about this. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't." I say, smiling at him before cuddling closer to Sasuke.

"So is this going to be an actual wedding or does it just happen? How does this work so I know what to tell Sakura to plan?"

"I'm afraid that Sakura knows more than we do at the moment. She's the one doing most of the research for us. As far as we know, this just kinda happens." I say with a shrug. He smiles sadly at me, I see. 'He knows I'd like a real wedding. Well, maybe I can still have one. People can still have weddings after they marry each other, they do it all the time.'

'Naru, what's wrong?' I hear Sasuke ask in my head. Sighing, I turn and smile at him, shaking my head.

'Nothing's wrong, love.'

'Your lying again. I know that tone, even in my head. You want a wedding don't you?'

'It would be nice, yes. But I understand that it probably won't be happening, so there's no use in thinking about it.' I smile sadly at him and he frowns at me.

He reaches out a hand and gently he stokes my cheek, looking into my eye's. I'm lost in his, the emotions I see in them, tell me so much. I know he loves me, even if he never says it again, I can see it in his eyes. I hear a gasp as he pulls me closer until the only thing I can see are his eye's. Gently he brushes his lips against mine and whispers. "Marry me? Before the bond is complete, marry me." Finally our lips meet in a chaste kiss. I feel all his love in that kiss. It's so powerful, so unexpected that all I can do is moan and pull him closer, so lost in the feel of him against me, his mouth working mine until we pull away, panting against each other.

"Yes." is all I can say as I rest my forehead against his.

"I missed a whole conversation there, didn't I?" I hear Iruka somewhere behind me.

Turning, I look at him, a smile planted wide on my lips. "It looks like there will be a wedding to plan after all." I say, waiting for that to sink in, and I see as a bright smile spreads across his lips as well.

"I'm so happy for you both. When will this be happening?" he asks, excited.

"Iruka, he only just asked me." I say, smiling. "But it will be soon. Very soon I believe."

* * *

Norm pov- with Iruka and Kakashi-

"So he did it, did he? I'm shocked it only took a few months for him to realize what I've been watching all these years." Kakashi said as he looked around the vegetable stand.

"Oh shush, Kakashi. Don't ruin my happy moment." Iruka huffed as he went about their shopping trip. "Oh, don't get those, they'll be bad in a few days,  
you know that."

"But I want them. I promise to eat them all this time, Ru." Kakashi said pleadingly.

"I will not be cleaning out the fridge this time, you got me. It was rank the last time I had to do that for those blasted things." Iruka said, moving on while Kakashi paid for a few of his prized onions.

* * *

Norm pov- Naruto and Sakura-

"Sakura-chan, you have to help me!" Naruto begged as he walked back in forth in front of her work desk.

"And how am I to help you?" she asked, confused at her friends pacing.

"Tell me what this bonding entails. What's going to happen and when? Suke and I want to get married before the bonding is complete but we don't have  
all the facts on it!" he explained, stopping to flop down in a chair that sat by the desk.

"Well, I told Hokage-sama most of it, the only thing I left out was pregnancy since it didn't say much other than 'demon lines must continue on', like that makes any sense. And once the bond has started it will do almost anything to complete as soon as possible. And if what I read is correct, then you are already halfway there." she said, trying to explain what she knew though she was frustrated at what she didn't know. "So your getting married to Sasuke now, are you? When's the wedding happening?"

"That's why I was asking about the bonding time frame since we want to be wed before completing it. Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to complete  
it but I want a real wedding. One that's been planed out and all our friends are at. Call me old fashioned in that way. I can't wait to see him all dolled up, telling everyone that its me he loves till forever, you know…" he sighed, his body slowly relaxing more into the chair.

"Who knew you were such a romantic, Naruto. Hokage-sama told me a little about how you've been feeling; I think it has to do with the bonding and wanting it completed. I think once it has been accomplished that you will feel more yourself than you have in a long while. I'd say do the wedding  
soon for your wedding night will be wild." She smirked at his blush.

"Alright. Well, I guess you'll be going to a wedding sooner than later, Sakura." he said, standing back up. "I'll talk to you later; I have to go talk with Suke." he said, walking towards the door and waving quickly before leaving.

* * *

A week has passed since the 'engagement' announcement. Choosing to be wed before the end of the year, planning was an ever constant at the Uchiha  
house with Sakura, Ino and Iruka helping them plan everything. By December 23, the two would be wed.

Some five days before the wedding, screaming could be heard coming from the Uchiha household.

"You are not wearing that!" Sasuke yelled for all to hear.

"Why not? There is nothing wrong with it." Naruto screamed back, not sure why they had to fight about what he was wearing.

"You. Are. A. Man. You're not going to wear a woman's wedding gown." he said, his voice dripping with finality.

"But someone has to. And it was given to me by baa-chan; it was my mothers. Why... why can't… I wear it?" Naruto said, tears starting to gather in his eye's.

"Naruto, do you really want to wear your mothers kimono? If you really want to that's fine, I just thought you'd be more comfortable wearing…"

"I know and you're right, I would, but I'm too small to wear my fathers, and hers was really beautiful. You'll see, I won't embarrass us."

"I'm not worried about my embarrassment, its yours I worry about. But if it will make you happy, then fine, alright, as long as you're happy… its all that  
matters to me. This is for you love; this is your wedding and I want it perfect for you, okay." Sasuke said, brushing a strand of hair behind Naruto's ear as he bent to kiss him.

* * *

On December 23rd, Sasuke and Naruto were married; the simple wedding held on the Uchiha grounds. Very few were invited, only their closest friends were there. In the background you could hear both Sakura and Iruka crying.

"Naruto, do you promise all that I have asked you?" Hokage-sama asked.

"With all my heart." I answer as I looked into Sasuke's eye's. He smiling at me, really smiling. I don't think I've ever seen him this happy or relieved.

"And do you, Sasuke, promise all that I have asked you?" Hokage asked Sasuke. I never heard what she asked, but I see the answer even before his lips move to form the words.

"With all my heart, I promise." he says, his eye's speaking far louder than his voice ever could. I gasp at the intensity I see in them.

With gentle hands he cups my face, bringing us closer together. "With all my heart, I am yours forever." he whispers against my lips before taking them in a deep kiss.

With that, they call us married. We are now Mr. and Mr. Uchiha. We faught over that as well, both of us being alone, there was no other to carry our names. But I pushed, saying that I will take his name as he takes my bond and the fight ended there.

* * *

Sasuke pov-

"So, how are you planning to spend the honeymoon, Sasuke?" Kiba asked as he downed another drink.

"Kiba, how do you think I'm going to spend my honeymoon, you baka!"

"Eh, I was only asking…"

"Well don't. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go rescue my husband from an excited Sakura." I chuckle as I watch her spin him around the small  
dance floor again as he tries to not trip over his gown.

"May I cut in?" I ask, taping her on the shoulder. She nods her head at me and spins my blushing "bride" into my arms.

"Kami, thank you." he breaths into my shoulder as I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him closer.

"I thought you might need some rescuing. I missed not having you at my side. I was stuck with Kiba asking about the honeymoon. He can really be a total idiot sometimes."

"What did he want to know, which position in bed we'd be in?" he asks, smirking up at me.

"He asked what we'd be doing for our honeymoon…"

"Ah yes, he was being an idiot asking that. He should have known that you'd be doing me; nothing else really matters, eh." he said, smiling into my chest before letting out a small chuckle again. "Mmm, how much longer do we need to be here before we can go to our room and start the honeymoon that everyone keeps talking about?"

"Keep moaning like that and we won't make it back to our rooms before I pounce on you."

"Mmm, promise? Come love, we've had our cake; we've had our dance, let us go to our room and make love for the first time. I want to feel you take this gown off me and kiss me 'til I'm breathless with need." Naruto purred as he ran his hands down my back.

"Oh gods... I love you." I say before I take his lips in another kiss. "I think we need to leave our reception before I take you here on the dance floor."

With that, Naruto is all but dragging me away from the dance floor.

"Hey, where are you two going?" I hear Iruka sensei call out as he walks towards us.

"Iruka, it's time for us to leave! Let us be a couple as couples should be. The bed is cold and lonely waiting for our arrival." Naruto say's with a big smile on his face.

"Naruto!"

"What?" he says, turning to me with his innocent look that I fall for almost every time.

"Go on Naruto, take your husband and have your wicked way with him. I'll make sure everything gets cleaned up."

"Thank you, Iruka." Naruto said before quickly taking my hand again and taking us towards our bedroom.

End chapter

(tbc)

thank you for reading this and forgive me of over posting I just wanted this to be right...

as always

lost in a thought


	11. Chapter 11

(an) Thank you all so much I never thought I'd get such a big response on that last chapter all my reviewers you all kick butt thank you. So here is the wedding night. oh read an at the bottom there's a vote you all must take :)(an)

**WHY**

Chapter 11- Wedding night-

After Naruto had practically dragged Sasuke down the many halls to get to their room, he paused out side the door. Standing there he bit his lip in worry.

"What's the matter, saiai?" Sasuke asked, seeing his husband hesitate at the door.

"N... nothing. It's just that, this will be our first night not only being married, but to fully consummate our relationship and bond."

"Are you scared? I don't want you to be scared; I want you to enjoy this and I want you to want this. Do you not want it?" Sasuke asked, worried that Naruto would be too focused on the past to go on with there future.

"Yes, I'm scared. But I want to be with you. I want to make love with you. I want to wake up every day with you beside me. It's just that this has never felt good to me before and I want it to. I want it to feel so good that I'm scared."

"Naruto, you know I won't do anything that will make you uncomfortable right? I love you and want this to be good for you. I know I don't have that much experience when it comes to this so we'll go slow. I have a feeling that when we make love to each other, it will be perfect - everything will just be... right."

"I know. I love you and want this more than anything. If you can ignore my nervousness and shakiness, I'm sure it will be beautiful."

"Come love, I think I know what can help you relax a bit." Sasuke said, pushing the door open and gently pulling his husband into the room with him.

Hearing the sudden intake of breath he turned to look at Naruto. Smiling at the amazed look on his face, he placed a hand on each side of it before pressing a soft kiss upon the slightly parted lips.

"When... when did you do this?" Naruto asked in a small voiced laced with happiness.

"All day yesterday, when you were off with the girls. Do you like it?" Sasuke asked, not sure the change would be good. "It's just, I know how you don't like all the dark colors. They seem to make you more gloomy and I thought it would be nice if our first time was in a happier place were there is no past, only our future. If you don't like it I can have it changed back, or to anything you…"

"I love it! Its beautiful Sasuke, thank you." Naruto said as his eyes danced around the room, taking in the soft blues, greens and yellow that flowed through it.

Wrapping his arms around Naruto, Sasuke leaned in, breathing deep the earthy sent he loved so much. Slowly he began to undress him, taking each piece off and gently placing it aside to avoid being damaged.

Lovingly, he kissed every inch of skin revealed to him. Finally as he pulled the last piece of clothing off, he lightly ran his hands up the legs in front of him, caressing and kissing as he went until he stood to his full height. Cupping the face that had tilted up to look at him, he lowered his head, pressing his lips to his love.

Slowly, he began moving them towards the bed until Naruto's legs came in contact with it and fell backwards onto it. Reaching his arms up Naruto wrapped them around his husbands neck, pulling him down for a kiss.

"We have a problem..."

"What's wrong?"

"You have far too much clothing on for this to work." Naruto said with a smirk.

"Your right." Sasuke agreed before quickly stripping off his clothes and joining Naruto on the bed. Kissing him again he slowly moved his hands down the others chest, teasing a nipple lightly before massaging his sides.

After teasing the flesh presented to him, he looked down at the now writhing mass that was his husband, all flushed and aroused, his body arching in the most succulent of ways. He couldn't believe that he was married to such a beautiful person.

"Are you ready love?" he asked, meeting the others eye's when they finally opened.

"Gods, yes!" Naruto moaned, reaching out and caressing Sasuke's right cheek.

Reaching over to the night stand Sasuke pulled out the lubricant he had hid there. Opening it up, he coated his fingers. Looking up, he met hesitant violet eyes. Moving back over him, Sasuke placed a reassuring kiss on the parted lips, pouring his whole love and devotion for the other into it.

"Its okay. At any point you feel uncomfortable, just let me know. We don't have to complete the bond tonight."

"No, I'm okay; I want this. I love you." Naruto said, nodding his head to continue.

"Alright." Moving his body down the tanned skin, he buried his nose in the wiry blonde pubic hair surrounding his husband's package. Kissing it lightly, he smiled at the intake of breath he heard from the simple gesture. "Did you like that?" Sasuke breathed against the glistening head.

"Mmm, you know I do." Naruto moaned, looking down at Sasuke, waiting to see his next move. "Do I only get a kiss?" Naruto pouted.

Smirking at this, Sasuke quickly enveloped the hard cock in front of him. As Naruto became a moaning mess, Sasuke started to circle and caress his opening. Eliciting more moans he started to gently press in one finger, not wanting to take away from the pleasure his love was having.

(For the rest of the baby making lemon's, go to my Lj the link is in my profile.)

Falling forward, he rested his head on a shoulder, breathing hard. Before he realized it, his eyes were drifting closed again and he fell into the darkness of sleep.

"So love, would you like something to eat?" Naruto asked lazily.

"Hmm... I could go for a bit of food." Sasuke said, tracing patterns on the small chest he was lying on.

"Hmm, I'm sure there's leftovers from last night. Did you want to go check?" Naruto asked, not really wanting to move, but hungry all the same.

"Are you sending me out or are you asking me to go with you?" Sasuke asked, moving his body so he could look into Naruto's eyes.

"Mm, I'll go with you. I just didn't want to go alone." Naruto smiled as he  
lent up to press a soft kiss to the slightly puffy lips hovering above him.

Slowly the two extracted themselves from there very comfy bed, pulled on there robes and walked out of the bedroom, hands clasped together tightly, neither wanting to let go of the other.

Noticing the slight limp in Naruto's walking, Sasuke slowed down, feeling bad that he had caused his love pain, but smirked at what it took to get there. After three rounds of love making even he was a little tender, but not enough to not be able to go again if so requested.

"Ooo... strawberries, Suke! I thought for sure they'd be gone." Naruto said happily as he grabbed one and bit into it. "Mmm, there so juicy." he said, licking his lips of the escaping juice.

Groaning at the sight his lover made, Sasuke quickly grabbed some of the finger foods onto a plate and sat down.

"Suke..." Naruto said quietly.

"Hmm?"

"We never got around to opening the gifts last night before I dragged you off." He giggled a bit, remembering what he had said to Iruka sensei. "Remind me not to drink so much again!" Naruto said smiling.

"Naruto, you had a few sips with me and that was it - you hate drinking." Sasuke said, raising an eye brow at the thought of a drunk Naruto.

"I know! I just can't believe I said what I did to Iruka sensei."

"You and me both. I was so embarrassed and he just smiled at us. That is what got me even more." Sasuke said shaking his head.

The rest of the day was spent relaxing, talking about nothing of importance. A sense of peace had enveloped the pair. Knowing that their bond was complete in all sense of the word, it felt as if nothing could make there lives any happier than they were at that moment.

Later that night, they went back to there room, making love to each other slowly, enjoying the feel of the other within their heart and body.

End chap

(tbc)

(AN) Okay so I decided to have a little vote on what to name the kid when it comes

Boy- Kiyoshi, Yasuo

Girl- Mizuki, Ayame

So vote for your favorite

Thanks

Lost in a thought


	12. Chapter 12

Beta: vampchic

**WHY**

Chapter 12-

Naruto pov-

It's now January 15, baa-chan has given me a desk job, its sooo boring - where's the action? No fighting the bad guy, just… papers, nothing else. I think the highlight of the week was the complaint of some noble woman thinking that she had more power than baa-chan.

She insisted that the shinobi of the village needed to come and clean up her garden and front lawn. If she hadn't have fired her last four gardeners and had three more quit, then I'm sure I would have been able to find someone to take care of it for her.

She didn't like my attitude and went straight to the Hokage to formally request that I be fired of my desk job, stating that "No demon should have such a high ranking desk job; he could be a spy."

"Naruto isn't a spy and it has never been confirmed that he is a full demon - he was born of two humans. I would like you to not disrespect my shinobi. What he told you was true. If you hadn't have fired so many and have so many quit in the past six months than he would have gladly found someone of good quality to do the job for you. But as it stands madam, that is not possible. You will either have to pay extra for someone who will put up with the working conditions or go with below your standards and find someone desperate enough. Good day madam, I trust that your journey home is pleasant."

Heh, take that you noble bitch. She sniffed and raised her nose in the air at what baa-chan told her before leaving.

On my way home that day I walked through the village, watching all the families doing there dinner shopping, the kids running around laughing while the adults talked and haggled over prices while trying to ignore the biting winds that were sweeping through the area.

"So tell me how does it feel to take on the Uchiha name, DEMON?" A voice sneered at me.

Glancing over my shoulder I found a small band of men all towering over me. Sighing, I slowly turn to look at them. I knew this day would eventually come, I just hoped it would be a while.

"I'm quiet pleased, thank you. My husband more than myself. If you have an issue with my use of his name then you shall have to take it up with him for he insisted I use it. Now if you'll excuse me I must be getting home, I need to be putting dinner on in a little bit."

"Tell me whore, did you miss what they did to you so much that you went and married a man just to feel a heavy cock inside you again?" one of the men sneered when I had turned back around.

Halting my steps, I slowly turned around to see them laughing and I'm sure they saw the look in my eye's because they started calling out more names as they came closer to me.

"Stop, you know not what you speak of!" I ordered as I start to back away from them.

"Naruto!" I hear someone call from behind me. Turning to look quickly, I don't see who it is that has called my name. "Naruto!" I hear again.

Finally, who ever it was, was standing behind me and put a hand on my shoulder. Startled, I jump slightly. This caused more laughing from the group.

"What are you doing here? I thought I was picking you up today?"

"Suke, picking me up…?" I said shaking my head in confusion. "Did we have something planed? I'm afraid things got a little busy today with a noble woman complaining about her garden. And then these men here stopped to ask me a question and… did we have something planned?" Naruto rambled on as he wrapped his coat tighter around himself.

"And what was the question that it has left you in this state of distress?" Sasuke asked, narrowing his eye's at the men as they slowly backed away from the pair.

"It was nothing, Suke. Why don't we go home and I'll cook us up some of your favorites."

"That's right demon, show him what a good bitch you are! I'm sure you're the perfect little whore for him." one of the men called out as we had turned to head home.

Before I knew what happened, Sasuke had not only jumped the man, pounding him soundly, but the others either met a similar fate or ran. When he walked back to me I could see he was fuming over what had just happened.

"Has this happened before?" he asked - no, more demanded, out of me.

"Suke, it's nothing I can't handle…"

"That was not what I asked. Answer me! Has this happened before, Naruto?"

"Yes" I say in a quiet voice as I look away from him. I'm ashamed at the things they have called me. They've called me worse when I was younger, but it hurts every day I hear the words come out of there mouths.

"Why didn't you tell me? I don't understand."

"I didn't want to burden you with it. It's been happening for so long that I just keep it to myself. Please don't be angry with me, I'll tell you next time."

With that said he brushed aside a stray hair, placing it behind my ear before bringing our lips together in a soft, loving caress.

* * *

Naruto pov-

It's now been two months since our wedding and bonding. Everything seems to be fine. Baa-chan said I could go back on missions since I was doing so well. She only wants to do a check up and make sure I'm completely healthy again.

Suke say's I look healthy - closer to the weight I should be, he says. I think he's just happy I have hips for him to grab hold of during sex.

Oh kami, the sex! I never thought it could be so wonderful. I know at first I was scared - it had only ever hurt before. I never knew that it could feel good. And oh kami does it feel good. I think I tire him out before I myself feel ready to pass out.

"Naruto?" I hear Sasuke call from beside me.

"Hmm?" I say, smiling at him.

"What were you just thinking about?" he asks with a curious eye brow raise.

"Huh, why?" I ask, tilting my head to the side as I look at him. God I hope he didn't hear me - I never opened the connection.

"Mm... you were spacing off love, with what could be called a whimsical smile on your face." Sasuke said, looking at me.

"Oh, um, it was nothing. I just wish I didn't have to get looked at in order to get back to work."

"Do you miss it that much?" I hear him murmur.

I know what he's thinking - that I want to go back to work to get away from him. He's wrong. I only want to work if it's with him. I have enjoyed doing the 'couples thing' of routine and being able to sleep next to each other every night.

I don't think I really want to go with out sex for any length of time. But I miss being able to work, to fight the bad guy and all that. I know he understands that at least.

"Suke, yes I miss it, but I love you and if you really don't want me to go back, I'll take that into consideration. I just, I have hardly worked out since October and…"

"Why don't we wait till after Hokage-sama sees you, then we can decide from there, alright?" he says, changing the subject.

We didn't speak much after that.

* * *

Norm pov-

After being allowed admittance to the Hokage's office, they sat down while she looked over a few papers. Finally looking up, she sat the papers down, giving them her full attention.

"Alright, how about we go over to the table and I can do a few scans." she  
said, looking over at Naruto.

"Okay. I really don't see the point of this." he said, walking over to the examining table she had set up.

After twenty minutes of confusion she looked Naruto in the eye. "By any chance while walking around town have you seen any pregnant women with you chakra reading ability?"

"Only like once, why?"

"Can you tell me what you saw?"

"Um, well it was a mother of two already, so she had a great deal of it swirling around her heart - mind you she didn't have that much chakra to begin with and the rest of what she had was around her abdomen and mind. Is there a reason why you need to know this?"

"Are you able to read yourself or is it only other people?"

"I haven't tried to read myself. Would you like me too?"

"Yes!"

"Alright." Standing up he walked over to a mirror and put the needed chakra into his eyes and as soon as that was done he gasped at what he was looking at. There was so much chakra swirling around his abdomen there was no way he was reading it wrong. "Baa-chan, please tell me I'm reading this wrong. I don't see how this could be possible."

"I don't know either. The only thing I can come up with is that it has to do with your merging with Kyuubi."

"What's going on? What are you two talking about?" Sasuke asked, looking between the two.

"Suke… I don't know how this happened but as it stands, I'm not going back to work."

"You don't know how what happened?"

"It looks like you get to be a father after all love."

"Wha.. what?" Sasuke asked, his eye's widening.

"I'm pregnant, Suke!" Naruto said with a bright smile, his eye's showing nothing but happiness.

* * *

Sasuke pov-

Slowly opening my eye's, I look around at the room I'm currently waking in. This isn't my bedroom or my bed. It's not soft enough to be my bed. Lifting my head a little I see that this room is the Hokage's office.

"Welcome to the land of the waking Mr. Uchiha." I hear the Hokage's voice from beside me.

"What happened?" I ask, confused as I start to sit up.

"You fainted!" she replied with a smile.

"Yes, and why again?" I asked, irritated.

"You found out that you're going to be a father. Naruto is a little upset at the moment. Your response to finding that out has sent him worrying that you don't want your child. It seems that trying to reassure him hasn't worked."

"Is he happy about this?" Sasuke said, sitting all the way up now.

"Of course he is! He always wanted to have children; he just never thought he could. And it's yours so there is nothing that would make him happier than to have your child." she stated.

"Where is he?" I ask, noting that I didn't see him anywhere in the room.

"At the training field. He needed to relax a bit before he came back."

"Were you able to tell how far along he is? I mean we've only been… since our wedding night so he could only be a month or so."

"He is about two months along. I figure it was that first night that he became with child." she smirked at me now.

"I see. I never thought this possible. I'll go find him, and I think the three of us need to sit down and figure out what's going on." I said before running out of the Hokage tower and towards the training fields.

(tbc)

thank you all who reviewed and voted I now know which way I'm going with it…. but you'll just have to wait and find out cuz I'm evil …. Please do continue to review, it encourages me to write more and thusmy chapterscomes sooner….

As always

Lost in a thought


	13. Chapter 13

Beta: Vampchic

* * *

Why

Chapter 13

Norm pov-

"Naruto, please come down here, we need to talk!" Sasuke called up to his husband.

Naruto, who was sitting on a branch in one of the many trees' that  
surrounded the area ignored Sasuke, upset at the response he had gotten atthe discovery of their unborn child.

"Please Naruto; come down here so we can talk about this rationally. I'm  
sorry I reacted the way I did, I never thought that this was possible. I'm  
so excited that we will be able to do this, to have a real family. I know  
that's been one of your biggest fears with getting together with me.  
Please come down here?"

Slowly Naruto descended the tree, landing softly next to Sasuke on the  
ground.

"I love you Suke, you scared me that you wouldn't want it. That you were to set in your ways to add this to the mix of our crazy lives." Naruto said  
softly.

"I was in shock, yes, but I love the idea of having a family with you. I would love to have a house full of children if it were possible and you wanted it. I just never thought it tangible so I tried never to think on it. I'm sorry I worried you so." Sasuke said just as softly as he wrapped his arms around his husband's waist.

Burying his face in the crook of Naruto's neck he inhaled deeply the sent of the forest he loved so much.

"Can we go home Suke? I'm feeling rather tired suddenly." Naruto said as his eye's began to roll back in his head, his body slipping to the ground soon after.

"Naruto!" Sasuke called as he held Naruto closer before picking him up and heading back to the Hokage tower.

* * *

Naruto pov-

I had awoken to find myself lying on an exam table. I have no idea how I  
got here other than Suke must have brought me.

"Naruto, I see you have finally decided to wake up. You've had Sasuke in a state of panic for some time there. I've now had the both of you pass out today and put upon my table."

"Where's Suke?" I ask sitting up.

"In the other room, pacing. I wasn't getting any work done with him in here pestering me on and on about when you would wake. Please go tell him that you have now regained consciousness please, so that the others in this tower may continue there day of work before going home." she said, shuffling some papers on her desk.

"Baa-chan, what happened? Why did I wake up here? The last thing I remember is telling Suke I wanted to go home!" I asked, looking over at her.

"You passed out shortly after saying that. Its nothing we don't see everyday with pregnancies. Its normal for some to become dizzy and light headed, thus resulting in passing out like you did."

"But I wasn't any of those things. I was tired and wasn't feeling well due to the stress, yes, but never in my life have I reacted in this way."

"Everyone's body will react differently in situations. You of all people  
should know this. Your body reacted the way it did due to the stress and the sudden movement you had done to reach the ground. Thus, it was a normal reaction. Go see to your husband, go home, have a good meal and get some rest. That is an order Naruto!"

"Hai," I answered with a quick nod of my head.

I left the Hokage office to be immediately ensconced in large familiar arms. Sighing, I buried my head into the firm chest and breathed deep his scent. Sighing again I let it wash over me and release most of the tension that had built up.

"Oh my god, she kicked me out, she wouldn't let me stay by your side 'til  
you woke. I was so angry and no one would tell me anything… Are you okay? She said you would be, that it's natural, but like anything with you is natural. Idon't know. I'm sorry love."

"Whoa, Suke, slow down. Calm down for that matter. I'm okay. This happens to some pregnant women all the time, I just have to take it easy now that we know I'm pregnant. Its fine." I said, looking up into his eye's, trying to pass along some of my peace to him.

"Your fine? Oh thank god. Please tell me we can go home?" he said, letting out a large whoosh of air.

After that we met one final time with baa-chan before going home. We went up to our bedroom, stripping down to our boxers before climbing into bed. Lying on my side I felt Suke cuddle up to my back, slowly bringing his arm to wrap around my middle.

"I can't believe that our baby is in here." Sasuke said, a little awed as he  
softly caressed my abdomen.

"Mm, I know. I think he's our miracle, Suke, showing everyone that we  
belong together, that our love had created another life." I said, intertwining  
our fingers together so they rested on my stomach. "I love you, Sasuke."

"I love you, too." he said before yawning softly into my ear. "Sleep love,  
it's been a long day."

* * *

Norm pov-

It's been a month since they found out of Naruto's pregnancy. Things had  
calmed down around the village in the terms of there wedding. They weren't planning on sharing his pregnancy with the town 'til he was showing.

"Naruto?"

"Hmm?" Naruto said, looking up from his book in his lap.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? Reading, you dolt."

"I can see that, baka. I want to know why, when you have an appointment  
with Hokage-sama in twenty minutes and your still lounging around."

"Wha...? Since when do I have an appointment with her? And why didn't you tell me sooner? if I'm late it's your fault!" Naruto huffed, putting his book down to run around the house getting dressed. Muttered curses could be heard coming from the bedroom.

Chuckling to himself, he listened silently to the goings on, sighing when he  
heard something glass break and another muttered curse followed quickly by an "I'm fine, umm, did you really like that vase?".

Finally after several minutes Naruto came back down the stairs, sporting a  
flushed face and a lip slightly quivering.

"Are we ready to go now?" Sasuke asked, pulling the smaller man to him.

"I broke the vase, I'm sorry." Naruto said, laying his head against Sasuke's chest.

"Hush, I don't care about the vase, you didn't cut yourself on it did you?"  
Sasuke asked, checking his husband's hands and other exposed area's.

"No, I'm fine. I don't know what's got me all frazzled. Can we just go and  
get this over with before I break something else today?"

"Come on, lets get you looked over to settle half your worry. I know  
you've been worried about the baby for days now." Sasuke said, pulling him over for them to slide there shoes on before they headed out for the 15 minute walk to see the Hokage.

"Well, everything seems to be coming along nicely. Your weight is good and your healthy for once in your life." Tsunade said happily.

"And the baby? Is it okay?" Naruto asked as he looked at her, squeezing  
Sasuke's hand slightly.

"Yes, everything is fine, the baby is fine and in a few more weeks we'll be  
able to take a closer look to see it, and if you want, possibly find out what  
sex it is."

"You can really see that?" Naruto said, shocked and happy at the same time."Hmm, I can't wait to seem 'em, it'll be so amazing to see something that wecreated, that I know can't be taken away from me." Naruto said wistfully.

The couple soon left after that. Weeks went by and they were happy. The  
town since coming to terms with their marriage, they found hassles few and far between. All they needed was for their appointment to come, because Naruto was anxiously waiting news on the sex of there baby, nursery ideas running rampant in his head.

* * *

(AN) Sorry it took so long to update, been moving and waiting for comps to work in my favor. I'm already working on chapter 14 so hopefully it won't take so long to get the next chap out.(AN)

Thanks for reading and please do review. Let me know what ya think of how this story is coming along.

As always

Lost in a thought


	14. Chapter 14

(an) sorry if any of this looks funny I just moved to a new computer and everything seems to be messed up with word on it and all butI got this chapter done, beta'd and everything soo I hope you all enjoy it.(an)

Beta:vampchic

WHY

Chapter 14-

Time lapse full of flash backs-  
Norm pov-

"Naruto, come on you know I have to go!" Sasuke pleaded with his husband.

"No, you'll be gone a whole month, maybe even longer - you shouldn't have to take this mission, not when I'm this close!"

"Naruto, we have three months until your due date - it'll be no longer than a month, I promise." Sasuke said, hugging him around his distended stomach.

"I don't like this - I have a bad feeling, Suke. Don't go; tell them to send someone else, please." Naruto cried, bending slightly to rest his head on top of Sasuke's.

"I'm sorry…" Sasuke said finally as he lightly kissed the trembling lips of his husband. "I'll see what I can do about writing you, okay. I'll miss you both so much. Promise to take good care of yourself while I'm gone, okay. Sakura will check up on you from time to time." He kissed him again as he pressed a hug to him before grabbing his bag and turning to leave out the door. "I love you!" he said and then was gone.

* * *

Flash back 

Normal pov-

"Naruto, you're doing so great - your weight is right where it should be and your healthy, I'm very pleased," said the Hokage as she smiled at the expectant 'mother'. "How are you feeling?" she asked looking between the two.

"Oh, pretty good I think. I seem to be a bit forgetful today, but I think I'm fairing well so far." Naruto said. Giving Naruto a look she eyed him, noticing that he wasn't telling the whole truth in that. "Other than the slight dizziness and three fainting spell's in the past month."

"Naruto, as your doctor I need to know these things. A slight dizzy spell to you could mean anything. It's best that I know what is wrong so I may be better to handle the situation to the best of my ability. Now, are you sure that is all?"

"Yes, unless there is something else you've noticed, Sasuke?" Getting a quick headshake in response he smiled up at the Hokage, waiting for the next bit of news.

"Well, would you like to see if we could get a look at the baby?"

"Oh yes," Naruto chirped, excited to know what it is he was decorating a nursery at home for.

"Alright, why don't you lie back, lift up your shirt and we'll see about seeing a baby here."

Naruto quickly moved onto the table she pointed out. Lifting his shirt he was brought out of his musing's to the sudden coldness coving his belly and abdomen.

"Sorry about that, I should have warned you it would be cold." Then she started to roll the thingy that would hopefully tell them what baby he was carrying. "Okay, right here," she pointed to a screen where a black and white fuzzy picture was. "Is the head, and that's one hand and the other. There's a foot and leg and right there, he is very much so showing us he's a boy," Tsunade said, smiling widely at the shocked parents to be.

"A boy? Suke, we're having a boy, a baby boy…" Naruto said in an awed voice as he stared at the screen.

"Yes Naruto, a baby boy, it is," Sasuke said, smiling widely at his husband.

"Congratulations boys," she said. "You can clean up now, and for the most part, I think this appointment is over. Just remember to eat right and don't over do it. The nesting stage can over work your body and mind if you're not careful."

"Thank you, baa-chan," Naruto said as he wiped his stomach clean again.

* * *

-Flash back time lapse-

Naruto pov-

Sasuke is on another mission - he's been getting a lot lately. This one is only to last three days before he's back in our bed. I know he'll be fine; this time it's nothing of major priority, just baby sitting a small family back to their home.

Sakura has stopped by twice today already and I'm sure it will be another two tomorrow. I know she means well and Suke probably asked her to stop in from time to time to keep my company and such, but I just miss him and would prefer for her not to show up at all hours of the day.

He's do back in a little over two days and that's when my next appointment is with baa-chan. He hasn't missed one yet, so I know he won't this time.

"Naruto, how are you?" Baa-chan asked as she smiled warmly at me.

Sighing, I give her a fake smile and tell her I'm fine - bored, but fine. The appointment ends and she tells me the same thing she tells me at every appointment - "Eat well and get plenty of rest. You won't be getting much of it towards the end." I smile, nod and start to leave before she's talking to me again. "I'm sorry he wasn't back to make it to your check up. Don't worry, he should be home by tomorrow."

"Hai, Hokage sama. I understand the many things that can hold a person up while on a mission. It comes with the job title of being a shinobi. Until next time, Hokage sama."

With that, I left, going home to wait on my late husband.

* * *

-Real time- 

Naruto pov-

He's been gone a week now and I still have that bad feeling and it only seems to grow the longer he's away; though he sent a letter to me telling me all was well and that there was no need to worry.

No need to worry, my ass. I'm hormonal and without my husband to make love to and complain to, to just share each other's thoughts on the day. I fear that one day he may never return to me that our child will not see his  
father. He doesn't understand these feelings I have, but I've never been wrong before. I follow my instincts and they said for him not to go.

"Naruto? Naruto, are you home?" I hear from the front door.

"Sakura san, I was not expecting you so soon," I state as I walk up to the front door from our living room.

"Hmm, well, I just thought you might like to eat dinner together. Lee is on mission at the moment and I prefer not to eat alone if I can help it. Helps me worry less, ya know," she said with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Yes, I understand. I'm not sure how much company I'll be though," I told her truthfully.

"Well, let's see if we can change that. Now, what are you in the mood for?" she asked cheerfully.

"Not much I'm afraid. How do you feel about going out for vegetarian for the night? I'm not in the mood for meat tonight."

"Alright, that's fine. Have you heard anything from Sasuke? Its just that Lee is with him. He says everything is fine in his usual flare, but..."

"He could be half dead and still say everything was fine, I know," I said with a sigh. "Yeah, I got a letter from him. He says everything is fine and that I shouldn't worry. That really only makes me worry more."

"Hmm..." she hummed, agreeing with me at least to a point.

With that, we ate in a state of understanding that neither of us wanted to talk about our other half's and their mission. We stuck to safe topics - at least we figured they were safe. She asked about the baby and we discussed how utterly politically apolitical working at the tower really was. We laughed about how we were when we were younger, working on missions with Kakashi sensei and how worried Iruka sensei always got.

Once our meal was complete though, I told her we should part there since it was smack in the middle between our houses - it just made sense.

* * *

-Flash back- 

"He moved, Suke, he's moving!" exclaimed an excited Naruto as he smiled brightly up at his husband. "Come feel. He nearly took the plate off my belly that time."

Reaching down with slightly shaking hands (more from excitement than fear) he gently laid his hands upon his little husbands distended stomach. Lightly, he felt the flutter of a small kick or punch and it brought him to his knees before him. Resting his head against his son, he softly whispered to him.

"I love you so much, little man, and you're not even out of your Okasan yet. Now, you are an Uchiha. You are to grow up big and strong and be as beautiful as your Okasan and study well, for you are our love. We will always be here to help you." Lightly, he kissed his resting place before he reached up and shared a soft kiss with his husband. "Tell me, love, how are you feeling today?"

"I'm fine. I think I might have over done it with the rearranging of the nursery, but it's starting to come together. I think this little one's mad at me and is kicking me for it," Naruto said, rubbing his stomach as if trying to say sorry.

"Hmm, then I shall order in tonight. What are you in the mood for?"

"Honey lemon chicken, rice, salad and mint ice cream?" Naruto asked, hopeful he'd get his wish. He couldn't help it, that's what he was craving right then.

"As you wish, Naruto," Sasuke said, kissing him again before getting up to leave. He had a pregnant husband to feed.

-End flash back-

* * *

-Two weeks later- 

"Naruto my love,

It's been three weeks since I last saw you. I miss you. I miss our son kicking me when you're in my arms. I hope all is well at home. How is the nursery coming along? You had better not be working yourself ragged.

It's rather boring here, other than Lee, who's antics are more trouble than they're worth. I have rather bad news though. It seems that the mission we were sent to do is compromised. We haven't been relieved of our duties yet, but I maybe coming home to you sooner than expected.

Keep that beautiful smile on for me, our son is happier when your smiling.

With all my love,  
Sasuke

* * *

"Sakura, did he write you? Did he tell you that the mission was compromised? What does that mean, compromised...? What could have gone wrong?" Naruto rambled on.

"I haven't heard a word from him in a week. He said they had doubts that the mission would succeed and that they may be home sooner than thought, but not to put much faith in it."

"I stopped putting faith in it when we were younger. I just want him home already. He has one more week there and I don't think he'll be coming home then. I just know it. I told him not to go on this one, that something was going to happen this time round, but he didn't listen."

"Naruto, you mustn't worry. Sasuke is the strongest shinobi we have. I'm sure that if there's any reason to worry about anyone, it should be me. Lee is good, but really he's just teacher material. He shouldn't be out there."

"I'm sorry, Sakura san. I know I'm being selfish. I just miss him and his baby is getting rambunctious without him here to talk to him."

"Just wait until the week's up, then start to worry, okay," Sakura said with a sad smile.

"Hai, I'll try. Why don't you stay here tonight? I don't feel like being alone and its a long walk to go back home for you," Naruto offered.

"Okay, I'll stay the night," she agreed quickly with a smile blossoming on her face. "But we need some chocolate chunk ice cream," she stated as she moved quickly to the kitchen where she knew she'd find some. It was Naruto's new pregnancy craving, he had to have it in the house at all times just incase.

Shaking his head, Naruto readily agreed that this week was going to see a lot of chocolate chunk ice cream being consumed.

With that, the two settled into a long week of waiting to find out if their husbands were coming home or not.

(tbc)

(an)well there ya have it chapter 14 its done and thank you all who have read this and reviewed please let me know what you think of this one I haven't put flash backs in like this before but I hope you've liked it anyhow(an)

happy reading to all

as always

lost in a thought


	15. Chapter 15

**(thank you to those who reviewed you I worked hard to get this out on top of work on a few of my other fic's and its made my beta tired from all the work I've given her lol I hope you enjoy this and remember to review I can't write it if I don't know you want it )**

**beta: vampchic **

**WHY**

Chapter 15- The wait continues-

Norm pov entire chap-

The week was up and still nothing had changed. They were still sitting on their couches, waiting for their husbands to come home.

"Naruto, there's nothing I can tell you. We got word that two are on their way now - but we won't know which two until they get here." Tsunade said as she watched Naruto pace her office.

"How could this have happened? They said it was 'compromised', how could this have continued if that was the case?" screamed a hysterical Naruto, stopping every now and then to look at the two women.

"Naruto, come on, you need to calm down. It's not good for the baby to be stressed like this," Sakura said, worry covering her face.

"Sakura, don't fucking say I need to stop worrying. My husband is out there somewhere and no one knows if he's alive or not! If he's coming back or not - you of all people should know how I'm feeling right now, so don't fucking say I need to calm down!" Naruto yelled, glaring across the room at her.

"I'm sorry, okay? I know what you're going through, but you need to worry about your child! When you stress, your baby stresses, and it's not good for him to be put through that," Sakura said softly as she tried to pull in her anger.

"I'm, sorry Sakura. My hormones are all over the place and I told him not to go on this mission. But he didn't listen and now look what's happened!" sniffled a drained Naruto.

"Naruto, why don't you go home for now? There's nothing you can do here at the moment. I've got a team ready to go out and search for them if they don't show up within the next twenty-four hours, okay," Tsunade said tiredly.

"Yeah, okay baa-chan. Let me know how it's going, okay? I can't stand to be there not knowing what's going on."

"I will, Naruto. Go home and rest a bit," she said, watching him leave defeated from her office.

- Time lapse-

"Naruto, it's been two weeks. We've sent search party after search party to find them and nothing has come back yet. We have one out right now, but I'm afraid that I can't stretch it out much further. We're going to have to call it off soon."

"What? You can't! He's not home yet. You said you'd find him," Naruto said, starting to pace the Hokage office. "If you're not going to find him, then I am! I'll do it myself if you're so inept that you can't!" Naruto fumed before abruptly leaving the office and tower, storming off as best as his swollen stomach would let him.

Once home, he collapsed onto the couch, crying over his missing husband. He couldn't take losing him. Eventually Naruto cried himself to sleep, never seeing three pair of eyes watching him.

"Kakashi, we have to do something, this isn't right," Iruka said sadly as he watched his honorary son cry himself to sleep.

"I've already spoken to Hokage sama, she asked that I head out to find him. There was word that he might be only two villages away. If that's correct, he's badly injured and is slowly making his way home."

"Why didn't she just tell him that?"

"She feared he would run off to this village and end up getting hurt."

"When do you leave, then?"

"Tonight. Sakura is coming with incase the findings are correct," Kakashi said, laying his head down on Iruka's shoulder.

"Kakashi sensei. Does Naruto know about this?" Sakura asked as they moved beyond the village borders.

"No, and he's not to know unless the mission is successful. Understand?" Kakashi said as they moved faster.

"Hai. I'm worried about him. He's gone quiet pale lately. I'm not sure he's eating right, either. When we bring Sasuke back, he's not to leave again. That's final. I can't take this, watching him suffer, not knowing."

"What about you, Lee has been gone all this time as well?"

"I'm fine. If Lee was dead he'd have been home sooner, I know it."

The days past quickly and within three days they had reached the village they'd been informed of Sasuke having been at. From there, they were told he had left and were given the direction they had last been seen heading in.

Three weeks later, they finally found there lost comrades held up in a shabby motel in a town only a day's walk from Kanoha.

"Who would have known you were a pain in the ass to follow, Uchiha Sasuke! Your husband is quiet distressed that you have been missing for so long."

"Sa… Sakura san? Oh kami… Is Naruto okay? The baby?" Sasuke asked from his bed roll on the floor.

"Are you injured? You look like hell, Sasuke," Kakashi said, looking the younger man over.

"I have a gash in my leg. I tried to… heal it myself, but the constant moving hasn't let it heal right."

"Let me have a look then, Sasuke," Sakura said, crouching down by her old team mate's side.

Looking him over, she quickly noted several things. He was under weight, the gash in his leg was not healing and looked infected, and he was missing a finger.

"What happened to your finger, Sasuke?"

"I - it was left behind in my escape, Sakura. Can ya heal the leg? I have  
been trying to make it home," Sasuke said tiredly.

"Where's Lee, Sasuke?" Kakashi asked as he knelt beside the two.

"Getting supplies I presume. His arm is in a sling but he can move around better than me."

"What's wrong with his arm?" Sakura asked as she mostly healed his leg, taking the infection out. "I've mostly healed it. It will take a few days before it's completely healed though. We can put off leaving until then if all parties here want, but I'd like to get us all home before we miss the birth of your son."

"Sasuke, we need to head out. The town's people say someone's looking for us…" Lee left off when he saw who was in the room. "Oh kami. Sakura!" Lee all but screamed as he grabbed her about the waist with his good arm, hugging her close. "Gods, it's been so long, my sweet Sakura blossom." Lee peppered her face in kisses as a few tears escaped his eyes.

"I've missed you too, Lee. Now let me see your arm, Sasuke said it was in a sling, what did you do to yourself this time?"

Gently, she released his arm from the sling, carefully looking it over.  
"Sprained wrist and a fracture that looks to be related to a small gash.  
Well, you sure hurt your arm - is there anything else I need to know about?"

"That's the worst of it. Just scrapes here and there, love," Lee gushed at her.

Sakura quickly set to work healing his arm and they waited another day before making the trek home.

"Naruto, please calm down. I told you Sakura and Kakashi sent a missive today - they'll be coming home within the next few days. They found Sasuke and Lee and both are well enough for the journey home."

"Thank you, baa-chan. I've just been so worried, not knowing what was happening. He's coming home... I have to go clean the house. Thank you again," Naruto smiled for the first time in over a month. Reaching over, he kissed her cheek before waddling out of her office, heading home to clean up his house.

(TBC)

thank you for reading and please review it help me get the chapters out

as always

lost in a thought


	16. Chapter 16

AN: thank you all who have been waiting patiently for an update. I'm sorry I've taken sooo long. Only a few more chapters left everyone. Hope you all enjoy this chapter.AN

Beta: vampchic

**WHY**

Chapter 16 -The return of love-  


Norm pov-

Naruto walked slowly down the hall to the room that housed his husband. Not knowing what he would find, he readied himself for the worst, telling that Sasuke was alive and that was all that mattered.

"Ah, Naruto, he's been asking about you. I showed him the latest ultrasound pictures - he's in aw of it," Tsunade chuckled to herself.

"How is he? No one's told me," Naruto whispered, his eyes wide with worry.

"He's better than when he came in, which was better than when he was found. With proper rest, I'm sure he'll be back to normal in a few days," she said

Naruto nodded and stared at the door. His husband was on the other side. "Thank you, Tsunade-sama," he said, giving her a little smile. Slowly, he walked through the door and raised his head, his eyes landing on the bed in the center of the room.

A strangled cry escaped from his lips and tears sprung to his eyes. His husband was really home. "Sasuke!" Naruto practically ran to the bed, his hands pressed his stomach along the way to prevent it from jarring too much.

"You shouldn't be running, saiai," Sasuke said softly once he had his love in his arms.

"I know - I love you, don't leave me again…please," Naruto sobbed into Sasuke's chest.

"Shh...I won't, Naruto. I'm staying here, no more worries," Sasuke cooed as he stroked Naruto's back, trying to soothe him.

Sniffing, Naruto Straightened out, looking Sasuke in the eye. "What's broken? how hurt are you really? No one would tell me anything."

Sasuke smiled and brushed a tear from his husbands face. "I'm fine Naruto. I had a gash in my leg, but Sakura was able to heal it, mostly. When we got here, they fixed me right up - they said I can leave tomorrow morning, they just want to keep me for observation like they do with every one. I'm fine, really."

Letting out a long sigh, Naruto collapsed into the chair by the bed. Looking up, Naruto smiled softly at the man on the bed and placed his hands on his protruding stomach, rubbed it lightly.

"You look as beautiful as ever, saiai. How have you been? How's the baby?" Sasuke rushed out when he looked down where his love's hands rested.

"Oh, we're good. They were worried for a little while there about weight and such, but I'm fine now. And I'll be even better now that you're home," Naruto said, smiling at his husband.

"You shouldn't have had any weight issues, love. We worked hard on it before I left," Sasuke admonished lightly as he brushed a happy tear from Naruto's cheek.

"Yes, well, worrying about one's husband tends to make keeping your weight at the right place hard, it seems. Please, I don't want to fight with you. I've not seen you in forever," Naruto said angrily, swiping at his own cheeks in sudden frustration.

"I'm sorry..." Sasuke said softly, not wanting to anger his husband further.

"You're sorry? I'm sorry - this whole damn village is sorry! But that doesn't change anything. I love you - I want you home. I don't want to fight." Naruto sighed and buried his face in his hands. "I'm _so_ tired of feeling this way," Naruto confessed, sniffling. Silence descended on the two as Naruto tried to reign his emotions back in. Wiping his eyes, he sighed once more and carefully stood, grasping his husbands hand. "I'll see you tomorrow, love. I'm on orders not to stay too long."

Looking down, Naruto gasped as he finally noticed what seemed different about his husband. "What the hell happened to you hand?" Naruto suddenly yelled.

Sasuke smiled. "Was wondering when you'd notice that. It happened when we were escaping. I got the gash on my leg and my finger was stuck - my whole hand was - but I was able to free most of it but the pressure just kinda...took it. Other than that and the scar on my leg, I'm fine. And I'll continue to be fine, love. There's nothing we can do now about the rest now," Sasuke said, nonplused.

"I see. You're alive, you're healthy, and you're coming home tomorrow. A finger is a finger, but your life is my life, love. Please be more careful with it," Naruto said softly, pressing his lips to his husband's forehead.

"Naruto, stay longer!" Sasuke said, trying to pull his husband down onto the bed with him.

"Mmm, I wish I could. But I'm afraid your son is viciously kicking my bladder at the moment. It's rather uncomfortable," he said, wincing at a harsh kick.

"Listen you, you be nice to your okaa-san," Sasuke scolded, pressing his lips to Naruto's stomach as he caressed it slightly. "I'll see you tomorrow, love."

"Tomorrow," Naruto agreed before moving away from the bed, heading and out of the hospital and towards their home.

* * *

"So how has he really been?" Sasuke asked Kakashi as they walked down the street steadily filling with people as the morning begun.

"Not well, I'm afraid. He's as healthy as can be expected, but he's on the thin side. Hokage sama is afraid that your son will arrive early because of it," Kakashi answered, glad his face covering hid the play of emotions across his face.

"That baka. I can't leave him alone for a minute before he falls apart," Sasuke said shouldering his bag a little higher.

"It was more than a minute, Sasuke," Iruka snapped angrily. "He feared for your life as it was. The worry and stress on his body is getting to be too much - he's to be on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy."

"I'll speak with Hokage-sama. She said nothing to me before I left this morning," Sasuke said softly, frowning as they got closer to his house.

Finally they reached the door and Kakashi and Iruka bid him good day before leaving.

"Naruto?" Sasuke called out as he walked in the door. Getting no response, he walked further into the house, noticing how clean the house was - there couldn't have been a spot of dust anywhere.

"Sasuke?" Naruto called from the kitchen.

Sasuke walked towards the kitchen and stood in the doorway, watching his husband. His distended belly barely missed hitting the counters and chairs as he moved about the kitchen like he was born to be there. Fearing for his child's safety, Sasuke finally stepped in, coming to stand behind Naruto. He wrapped his arms around his waist, hugging the blonde close to him.

"I'm home," Sasuke murmured into the other's ear.

Sighing, Naruto all but collapsed into his husband's embrace.

"I've missed you." Naruto said softly, trying all he could to hold back the flood of tears that threatened to fall from his eyes.

"Oh, Naruto, I missed you terribly. I'm here now, there's no need to cry." Sasuke murmured as he turned Naruto around, brushing a tear away with his thumb.

"I'm an emotional wreck, here. I'm hormonal and feel like I'm giving birth to a full on kicking ninja. I'm allowed to cry all I want," Naruto said, smiling a tearfully up at Sasuke.

"You're right, you are," Sasuke agreed with a half smile, planting a small kiss on the blonde's lips.

"Come on, lunch is ready," Naruto smiled, pulling away from his husband to set the table. They sat down for an emotional lunch and as Naruto got up to clean up the dishes, Sasuke pulled him away. Their lips met in a passionate kiss.

Somehow they managed to make it to their bedroom, falling together in a tangled heap on the bed, hands exploring each other. They touched each other as if rediscovering the other, reassuring themselves that the other was really there.

"Gods, I've missed you," Naruto moaned as Sasuke's lips pressed against his neck, his teeth nibbling the skin slightly.

Sasuke nuzzled the neck before pulling away and settling Naruto against him, just enjoying the other's presence. "Not long now," he said, running his hand over Naruto's protruding stomach.

"Mm, it'll be nice, I think," Naruto said, joining his hand with Sasuke's.

"Have you thought of any names yet?"

"Some, but I was waiting for you," Naruto answered softly, relaxing further against Sasuke, his eyes drooping at the gentle petting.

Noticing that Naruto was almost asleep, Sasuke kissed his head softly, shifting a little to get comfortable. "Sleep, love. We'll think on a name later," Sasuke murmured into Naruto's ear.

The couple was soon asleep once again in their bed, snuggled tightly against each other. Nothing could come between them now.

Soon, they would have a child to care for. Sasuke didn't think he'd be able to go on anymore missions. He didn't want to. He'd accomplished everything he set out to do in life. He no longer had to worry about his brother; he had a husband and a child on the way; was there really anything else he could possibly gain from going on missions?

Tomorrow's mission? Come up with a name for a child not yet born.

(TBC)

thank you all for reading please review let me know what you think. And if you like harry potter slash I've got a few fic's there as well. Hope you all have a great day

as always

lost in a thought


	17. Chapter 17

(AN) Sorry I know it's been a long while since I updated but I've been stuck in a box of blocks and couldn't think of what to write next. And I must thank a few of my reviewers who pointed out something that both my beta and I missed. "The link between Naruto and Sasuke and why it wasn't working". And I hope that by the end of this chapter I'll have explained it enough to sooth all your confusion at least a little. Thank you all for reading and please review it does help to know what you all think. This one is almost done so I hope you've all enjoyed it. (AN)

Beta: vampchic

Why

Chapter 17

"Naruto, what do you think of these?" Sakura asked, holding up a pattern for crib bedding.

"I love stars. That one's really cute, too," Naruto said smiling at her. "Think Sasuke will like it?" Rubbing his back slightly, he patted the bump in front, wincing slightly at a hard kick.

"Naruto, I think he'd love it as long as you do. You know what he did to your bedroom just to make it special. He can't complain about the color since its blue, and yellow and will go great with some of the other things we've already picked up for the little one."

"Okay, I'm sold," Naruto smiled brightly.

"How are you doing? You're looking a bit uncomfortable," Sakura pointed out as Naruto's hand never stopped its massaging motions.

"Hmm…being as big as I am, I'm bound to be uncomfortable, Sakura. The bump's just being a little more rambunctious today," he sighed.

"How long has your back been hurting?" she asked casually.

"Umm, since this morning? I think I slept wrong and the bump didn't like it," he answered, walking around the shop some more.

"You two really need to come up with some names. The poor kid will think its name is "Bump" otherwise," Sakura said, laughing to cover her unease. Naruto was two weeks away from his due date and she was starting to worry that he wouldn't make it.

"Don't worry, we'll come up with something by the time the kid's three," Naruto joked. "No, really, we've come down to a name each for either girl or boy. No, I'm not sharing them until they're born, so don't ask," he said, wincing at a hard kick.

"When's your next appointment with Hokage-sama?" Sakura asked, knowing it had to be soon.

"Oh, tomorrow. Sasuke thinks I should be resting right now instead of shopping for our kid. I asked him then how we'll have bedding and clothes and diapers and such for the baby if I didn't do the shopping now. He huffed a bit, but finally let me go saying I had to rest a lot or something along those lines," Naruto said nonchalantly as he pulled a few outfits off a rack that could work for either a boy or a girl.

"Well, he's right, you know. You should be resting. You're about to give birth – you need to save up some of that energy for when you'll be rather exhausted," she informed.

Finally they picked the last of what they wanted from the baby store and paid. Sakura, who was holding most of the purchases, frowned as they began their walk back to Naruto and Sasuke's house.

"Ow…." Naruto panted, stopping two blocks from his house. "Sakura…umm, I don't feel so good…" Naruto trailed off, dropping the one bag he was holding.

"Oh, kami. Sasuke - is he home?" she asked quickly.

"Yes, he was working in the garden today…" Naruto said, taking a deep breath. "Home - we need to get me home…" he said picking the bag back up as he began to slowly make his way to his house.

Sakura helped Naruto the best she could the few blocks back to Naruto and Sasuke's house. Once through the front door she began yelling for him.

"Sasuke? Uchiha Sasuke, get your ass here, NOW!!" she called out, hoping he heard her.

"Sakura? What are you shouting about?" Sasuke called out, moving quickly towards her. "Naruto?" he asked, finding Naruto leaning against a wall panting. "What's wrong?"

"Baby!" Naruto panted, holding his stomach.

"What?! Okay, we can do this. Sakura get Hokage-sama," Sasuke ordered while he set about helping Naruto to their bed.

"Suke…" Naruto whimpered. "Don't know if I can go through with this."

"I know you can, saiai, you're strong - our child will be beautiful. You're going to do wonderfully. I know you'll be good at this," Sasuke encouraged, kissing his forehead.

The door slammed against the wall as the Hokage came bursting into the bedroom.

"How are you doing, Naruto?" she asked, taking his vitals and the positioning of the baby.

"Could be better!" he joked weakly.

Tsunade smiled softly at him. "Lets take a look, see which way this baby's coming out, hmm," she said, directing Sasuke to undress his husband for them.

"Wait, where do you think you're looking?" Naruto screeched moving to cover himself.

"Naruto, we talked about this. We don't know for sure if you're able to give  
birth naturally or if we have to do a cesarean. Let me have a quick look and  
we'll see what we're dealing with, okay.

"If we have to do a cesarean, then we'll be going to the hospital. I don't have the means to do a home birth that way," Tsunade said, pulling a sheet over his lower region.

Nodding softly, Naruto let his legs fall apart so she could look. A small gasp made him jump and want to pull his legs back together.

"Okay, Naruto, you're going to feel some pressure…I'm just checking to see how dilated you are, okay?" she asked, looking up into his worried eyes. Getting a small nod, she proceeded.

Naruto looked up into Sasuke's eyes, trying to ignore the feel of fingers  
pressing on his opening.

"How are you doing, Naruto?" she asked, rubbing his stomach slightly as she continued her exam.

"So am I having our baby here?" Naruto asked softly, wanting to get his child out of him before the little being tore his insides out.

"Well, so far, you're dilated to four centimeters. So, yes, it looks like you'll be able to have your child here. We just have to wait until your body is completely ready."

"So, um…how much longer, then?" Naruto asked as she had finished her exam.

"Well, we have to wait until you're fully dilated. How long have you been having contractions?"

"My back's been killing me all day and the baby's been doing super kicks…. I didn't know I was having contractions at the time," he trailed off, blushing with embracement.

"Well, all we have to wait for now is for your water to break and you to be fully dilated. Not so hard right?" she said, smiling at the younger man.

"Right, not so hard," he mumbled back.

"You just lie there and try to stay as comfortable as possible, hmm."

Nodding his head he leaned back on the bed and closed his eyes, sighing; for once that day that he wasn't feeling a constant pain… it came in spurts now.

"Sasuke, I'll be back in a little while to check him again. Sakura will stay with you and try to help out as much as possible. Hopefully by the end of the day, you'll be holding your child."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama."

"Think nothing of it," she said before leaving the house.

Sasuke walked back into the bedroom to find Sakura going through some bags.

"What are you doing, Sakura? Naruto should be resting," he said, partially annoyed.

"He wanted to look at what we bought today for your child. That way I know what I need to wash for your child right now," she said huffily.

"I'm fine, Suke. I'm just having a baby here. I want something cute for our child to wear and sleep in when they're born, so let us sort it all out; it'll help me relax better," Naruto said in his calm voice that always unnerved Sasuke.

"Alright, fine, just tell me what you want me to do to help and I will." Sasuke said, wondering how Naruto was being so calm when he was about to have a baby.

Knowing that Sasuke would need a task to help him stay calm, Naruto nodded his head and smiled softly at him.

"Why don't you go get Kakashi sensei and Iruka? If anything, they can keep you company while we wait for the bump to be born. I'm fine here with Sakura and it shouldn't take you very long to find at least one of them," he offered, knowing Iruka would want to be here regardless of if it would help Naruto's husband.

Smiling at his all knowing husband, Sasuke nodded quickly before pressing a quick kiss to Naruto's forehead and another to his protruding stomach before he ran out the room, calling out, "I'll be right back, love."

Sakura just smiled the whole time, knowing Sasuke and Naruto as she did. "Very well done there, Naruto. I figured he'd wear a hole in the floor soon," she said chuckling.

"Hmm, yes, I figured they could keep him company until it's time to push the kid out," Naruto said, wincing at a very strong contraction. "How long does this normally take?" he suddenly whimpered, hating how his body was tightening with every contraction.

"It depends every case is different. Some will have really quick labors, only taking a few short hours, and others…it could take days.

"But knowing you and Sasuke, your kid will not want to wait too long," she said, smiling at him. "Here, why don't you roll over on your side and I'll rub your back, that might help with some of the discomfort."

* * *

Sasuke ran through the village, his smile wide and his feet uncaring. Quickly he made it to Iruka and Kakashi's apartment, knocking on the door in a fast motion.

"Okay, okay," Iruka called out as he walked to the door. Jerkily, he pulled the door open. "Sasuke?" he asked, seeing the panting man.

"Naruto…baby coming…Kakashi home?" Sasuke panted happily.

"Naruto, the baby…." Iruka repeated, his eye's going wide. "KAKASHI!" Iruka called out as he pulled his shoes on.

"What is it? Are you bleeding?" Kakashi asked as he ran out of a room towards his lover.

"Naruto's having the baby!" Iruka announced excitedly.

Pulling his shoes on quickly, Kakashi followed the other two back across the village towards Naruto.

* * *

"Ow," Naruto whimpered again. "I think they're coming on faster now!" he said as Sakura rubbed his back.

"I know, and as soon as Sasuke gets back, I'll go get Hokagesama to give you another check up, 'kay?"

"Okay," he said softly as he rubbed his stomach, trying to sooth his child.

"Naruto?" Sasuke said, walking back into the bedroom fourty minutes later. "What's wrong? You're not looking to good. Saiai," Sasuke said, looking between his husband and Sakura, who looked nervous.

"I'm going to go get Hokage-sama, Sasuke. Come over here and rub his back, it seems to help a little," she said, getting off the bed and walking quickly towards the bedroom door.

"Suke?" Naruto sighed as he felt his loves hands stroke his back. "I think our child's in a hurry to meet us," he said, pressing back into the strong hands.

"Hey there, kiddo, how are you doing," Iruka asked, crouching down on the other side of Naruto's bed.

"Iruka, how're you doing?" Naruto asked, smiling at his father figure.

"I'm good, but I hear you've got a baby on the way, here," he said, resting a hand on top Naruto's.

"Yeah, the bump seems to want to greet all its family," he said, just as a  
hard kick greeted both their hands.

They both smiled at that as silence covered the small group while they  
waited for Tsunade to return.

* * *

"How are you doing, Naruto?" Tsunade asked as she walked into the room.

"Oh, I could be a lot better," Naruto said softly

Tsunade nodded and quickly examined him to determine how far along he was now.

"Naruto, when I said you'd be having a child today I didn't mean this soon," she chucked. "You're now at seven centimeters. Your water hasn't broken yet, so I'll repeat, 'just lay there and relax, in no time at all, you'll be having a screaming baby here," she said, patting his shoulder lightly.

"Okay..." Naruto sighed.

"How are you feeling?" she asked after listening to him sigh.

"Horrible. I'm hot and I feel kinda shaky, too. Though, that's probably just  
nerves."

Nodding her head, she took his temperature, frowning at the slightly elevated reading. "You're running a slight fever, but all I can give you for that is cold rags and ice chips," she said, looking at him.

"How much longer until I can crap this kid out?" he said, quite vulgar in his feelings at the moment.

"Not long, I'm sure," she said ignoring his comment.

"I need to pee," he suddenly announced.

* * *

A few hours passed before Naruto made a sudden squeak.

Everyone in the room turned to look at him.

"What's wrong?" Tsunade asked.

"Umm, I think that maybe my water just broke," he said, trying to move the blanket currently covering him.

Lifting the blanket from him, Tsunade nodded her head.

"Suke, were going to need a new bed - you know this, right?" Naruto asked  
meekly.

"Don't worry about the bed love. You'll have a new one tomorrow."

"Thank you," he blushed.

"Okay, Naruto, it looks to be just about time. You're fully dilated now and the baby feels to be in the right position. So, next contraction, feel free to push," she said, getting everything into place.

On his next contraction, Naruto pushed.

* * *

An hour and a half later, Naruto laid panting, his body trembling and sweat pouring off him.

"Suke, I can't do it anymore," he cried.

"Yes, you can! You're too stubborn to give up now - you're almost finished. Come on, just one more push, baby," Sasuke encouraged his tired husband.

Nodding, Naruto dug deep and on the next contraction, pushed as hard as he  
could. And he felt it, his child completely coming free of his body.

"You did it!" Sasuke exclaimed, kissing his forehead, cheek, lips…anything he could reach.

"Congratulations, Naruto, you have a healthy son," Tsunade said, placing the new born on Naruto's chest while the after birth was cleaned up. "Sakura will clean him up now, Naruto's" she said, handing the child to Sakura.

"What shall you name him?"

"He hasn't cried yet!" Naruto pointed out.

"He's whimpering very softly, Naruto," Sakura assured him.

"Thank you," he said softly. "Kiyoshi," he murmured, peering at his half sleeping child.

"What was that, Naruto?" Sakura asked, still standing by his bed.

"His name, Sakura, its Kiyoshi," he said, meeting her eyes as he smiled.

Our son! Sasuke thought, smiling down at Naruto and Kiyoshi.

He's beautiful, isn't he?" Naruto said back.

"You can hear me again? Oh gods, I thought it would be gone forever." Sasuke exclaimed.

"I think it was because of Kiyoshi," Naruto said, happy he could hear his love again.

"You have your link back?" Tsunade said when she had finished doing her bit of clean up.

"It appears so, Hokage-sama," Sasuke said

"Naruto, how does it feel?" she asked.

"Oh, I feel much better. Though I'm starting to get quite tired," he answered, looking towards his husband. Can you take him? I don't want to hurt him if I pass out," he said, holding back a yawn.

Nodding his head, Sasuke gently picked his son up, cuddling him close.

Holding his child for the first time, Sasuke faded everything around him out. He never noticed when Naruto had fallen into some much needed sleep or when Kakashi and Iruka came in; he was in aw.

* * *

As the next day dawned, Sasuke was in the process of struggling a new mattress up to their bedroom.

In the bedroom, Naruto sat, feeding their son as he talked with Iruka.

"He's beautiful, Naruto," Iruka said as he peered at the child suckling the nipple of the bottle he was being fed from. "Any clues on eye color yet?"

"Hmm, I think they're going to be dark. Sasuke thinks blue. I guess we'll just have to wait and see," Naruto said, smiling tiredly down at his son.

Once everything was settled, Naruto had a new clean bed to sleep on and they were content with how their lives were.

(tbc)

Only a chapter maybe 2 more left of this story I hope you've all enjoyed it thus far and happy Christmas… merry holiday's….

As always

lost in a thought


	18. Chapter 18

AN(thanks so much to all my readers for sticking with this fic for so long. Sorry it's taken me so long. And for those just who have just joined the adventure I hope you've enjoyed it. this is the final chapter in this story I thank you all many times over for all the help and encouragement I've been given. Hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as the others. Now on to the our final chapter)

Why

Chapter 18

"Naruto, I think it's time," he heard her say as he studied the floor, biting his lip nervously.

"Why? Why does it have to be now? You can still do it, you're young. Younger than the last," he said, not sure he was ready for this.

"Naruto, I've trained you for this for the past seven years; you couldn't be more ready," Tsunada said, shocked that Naruto was being so hesitant.

"But the kids are still so young…" he tried to reason.

"And they have me there with them, love, This is what you've wanted for almost twenty years. You've said this was what you wanted; why are you now so scared to do it?" Sasuke asked, confused.

"You're right. This is what I wanted. Kiyoshi's ten now and on his way to being a ninja and the twin's start school next year," he sighed before meeting everyone's eyes

"So what is it you're saying then, Naruto?" Tsunade asked.

"I guess that means, I'm your guy. I'm the new Hokage…" he said, smiling brightly at those assembled around him.

"We will hold a small ceremony in five days," Tsunade announced, smiling at Naruto.

"Why five days?" he asked.

"The village needs to be told; your robes need to be fitted...I'm afraid I was never one for them but you will look wonderful in them. And after I've passed the torch, so to speak, there will be a feast," she said happily.

* * *

"Papa, papa…… is it true?" Kiyoshi called running up to his two fathers.

"Is what true, my little one?" Naruto asked, smiling down at his ten year old son.

"That you're really going to be the new Hokage….? It's all over the village…" he said his eye's bright with excitement.

"Hmm, it seems the news traveled fast. We wanted to tell you before the village knew. How do you feel about that, Kiyoshi?" Naruto asked, biting his lip as he waited for his son to answer.

"I think it's great! It's what you always wanted, right? Though, you won't be here as much, but that's okay; we can visit you at your new office, right?" Kiyoshi asked, looking up and biting his lip in much the same way Naruto did.

"Of course you can visit, whenever you want, love." Naruto smiled pulling Kiyoshi into a hug. "Now, I should probably go start on dinner. Want to help me?" he asked, ruffling the boy's long locks.

Kiyoshi nodded his head, Smiling brightly at his father he followed him to the kitchen to start on dinner.

* * *

"What were they thinking, letting that monster run a village? Such a strong village; how could it be so stupid? We'll teach it."

"Yes, the plan is worked out, lord. It will be done swiftly," a man said with a slight bow to the older man.

"Good. See to it. I want them taken care of the night of the ceremony let that Demon know he's not really in charge!"

The men in the room smirked, knowing just how much their lord hated the new Hokage of Leaf. They couldn't wait to see what would happen when the plan went through.

* * *

The ceremony went off with out a hitch. Naruto was pronounced the new Hokage and the feast began.

"You did it, man. You said you would and you did," Kiba said, coming to stand next to Naruto, followed by all the other members of his old class.

"Congratulations, Naruto." Hinata said, a bright smile on her face.

"Thank you all. I don't know how I managed this; I somehow never thought I'd make it this far," Naruto replied, a small smile crossing his lips.

"While you doubted yourself others didn't, love. We knew if anyone could make it, it would be you. The village will thrive with you leading it," Sasuke said as he pressed a kiss to his husbands' cheek before turning to search for their children. "Where have those three gone off to?" Sasuke murmured.

"What's wrong Sasuke?" Naruto asked, seeing the look in his eyes.

"Kiyoshi and the twins have run off," he stated not liking them to run off without saying anything to them.

"What?... damn them. Fine, when I find them they will be grounded; running off on us tonight." Naruto growled lightly. He had asked them to stay close and they had promised to do so. Closing his eye's, he let his instincts take over. Letting out a small gasp at what he felt he opened his eyes. "Come Sasuke, it's the twins." Naruto took off at a full run barely missing hitting the other people surrounding the area.

Sasuke was a few seconds behind him. Soon they were leaping roof tops to get to their missing sons.

"Papa's not going to be happy with you!" one of the twins cried out.

"Shut it brat," a gruff voice growled, knocking the child over.

"Aya!" Haru called out to his twin.

"Quiet Haru, papa and father will come for us," Kiyoshi said softly to his little brother.

No sooner had he said this than he felt his half demon papa come closer, his anger rumbling through the ground.

"Boys!" Naruto said upon seeing all three of his son's bound and on the ground.

"I'm sorry papa. I thought I could get them back," Kiyoshi said just loud enough to be heard.

"We'll talk later, Kiyoshi, he growled. "Unbind them now!" Naruto roared at the four men that were standing in battle stances', armed and ready to fight. "You do not want to fight me," Naruto stated, raising an eyebrow at them.

"Naruto, you found them; good," Sasuke said as he came to stand next to Naruto.

"Boys get out of those ropes now since these men refuse to untie you," Naruto ordered, smiling slightly as his three sons moved to do just that.

The men just stared as the three boys got out of their ropes and stood there waiting for further instructions from their fathers.

"Come stand behind us," Naruto growled out.

They did this so as quickly as they could.

"What should we do with these….Kidnappers?" Naruto asked as if just saying the word left a bad taste on his tongue.

"Why did you take our sons'?" Sasuke asked, standing at the ready to fight if they needed.

"Your son's shouldn't even exist. They would have been killed for the good of all villages. That beast shouldn't be in control of a village as strong as this one; he'll bring nothing but war to these lands." The man breathed heavily. He knew he'd be dead; there was no way that he'd be able to outrun these two. "He should be killed; put down like a rabid beast he is," he shouted.

Naruto didn't even blink an eye at the man's words. He stood there for a moment before turning his back at the man and looking his children over. "Children it is time to go home." He reached out a hand to his youngest two and smiled encouragingly to his oldest. "Sasuke could you show these men that I want no wars between the villages but that to attack children is to attack a villages heart? And that can not be left unpunished." He knew that if he were to fight these men that he would kill them. He didn't want death…but a painful reminder for what they did.

Naruto turned, walking away. He knew Sasuke would take care of the men, and that he needed to vent his anger over what had happened to them.

* * *

"They failed my lord. They know who we are. What shall we do, my lord?"

"We do nothing. If they have defeated my best, there is little I can do but hope they don't seek to avenge what was done," he said before taking a deep swallow of his drink.

The others backed off leaving their lord to his own pondering.

* * *

"Papa. I'm sorry I know I'm not big enough yet to do things like that. I will think better next time," Kiyoshi said softly as he stood in front of his papa.

"Come here, Kiyoshi." Naruto said, opening his arms for his son.

Without hesitation Kiyoshi flung himself into his papa's robes, knowing that he was too big for tears but that if his papa could cry over them being safe so could he. Naruto hugged him close, petting his hair as he kissed the top of his head.

Everything will be fine now," Naruto assured his son.

Sasuke paused as he stepped through the doorway. The twins were  
asleep on either side of Naruto, both tightly gripping a handful of his robes;  
Kiyoshi was crying on his lap as he held him close.

"We are all safe my loves," Sasuke said as he stepped closer to his family.

Naruto smiled as he looked up at his husband. "Yes; we are safe. And we will continue to  
be so."

Sasuke nodded his head and leaned in closer to softly kiss Naruto. "Kiyoshi it is time  
for bed," he announced as he moved to pick up one of the sleeping twins.

"Yes father." Kiyoshi answered with a slight yawn. Kissing his papa and father on the  
cheek he headed off to bed.

Once the twins were in their beds Naruto and Sasuke went to theirs. After readying for bed they cuddled close, giving each other soft kisses and teasing touches.

"Are you happy Naruto?" Sasuke whispered softly.

"Yes I only wish we could have a little girl as well," Naruto pouted softly against his husbands chest. "But I am very happy, my love," he said, his eye's closing as sleep began to fall over him.

* * *

Life went on in the village. It became more peaceful than anyone could have thought. Who knew that having a half demon running a village would be a good thing? The children grew and two of the three children became ninjas. The other more soft spoken worked at an orphanage, wanting to make sure no more children grew up the way his father and papa did. No matter how strong they were he wanted the children of the village to be happy.

When the children, now adults, found their loves, their family grew. Naruto finally got a little girl to spoil and four grandsons to teach. They couldn't be happier, or more honored than to explain the whys of the world to the new generation.

THE END

hope you found this enjoyable. Happy reading everyone

As always

lost in a thought


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